Your favorite one-liners.

peachiemkey · Jan 9, 2009

Maybe you're in front of the computer, already typing away, when it hits you. Or maybe you're about to fall asleep, and you turn on the lamp just to write it down. Or maybe it's the middle of the day at work/school, and your boss/teacher yells at you for scrambling around for a pen...

It's those one-liners (or one-paragraphs) that fit into your novel perfectly and are just pure genius, or at least, you feel like they are. They're zingy, funny, dramatic, heart-crushing or all of the above, and they just roll off the tongue.

What are some of yours? From your past or present writing. I know you got 'em

***

I'll start the bidding with some lamer ones from my first 2 chaps:

You put a teenager inside a big hunk of metal with wheels, and they're probably gonna crash it.

“You can’t go in there, there’s terrorists!”

Cam died in a car accident, and that was the only ordinary thing he ever did.

JJ Cooper · Jan 9, 2009

This snippet is from my first novel. It's early in the novel where the two main characters are getting to know one another.

(MFC) 'Why haven’t I heard of this secret facility?’

(MMC) ‘Wouldn’t be a secret if we told everyone about it.’

She bit down on her lip and continued. ‘It’s obviously guarded, so how did they get you there without being seen?’

‘Secret facility wouldn’t be complete without a secret entrance.’

JJ

cbenoi1 · Jan 9, 2009

This stunt is going to earn him a respectable spot in the obituary section of next month's American Dentists Association Magazine.

Drew spent a whopping five weeks and made eighty four sorties in Vietnam before finding an innovative way to spread his grey matter over a rice paddy; it turned out the Iroquois UH-1 "Huey" was never designed to perform loopings, much to his chagrin.

-cb

tehuti88 · Jan 10, 2009

"I tend to get pissed off when people CONSUME MY BODILY FLUIDS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!"

(Quoted after the protagonist discovered her future boyfriend drinking her blood from a bowl.

)

I know I've got tons more but that's the one that pops most readily to mind.

Gynn · Jan 10, 2009

Not sure if I'll leave this one in, but:

"Troy's penis was sad to see her go."

angeliz2k · Jan 10, 2009

“I’ll make sure it’s on your tombstone. ‘Buckets and buckets and buckets.’ ‘This is the final resting place of Calfyn, dead in the Great Fire of Rome, aged twenty-three years and still a virgin.'"

these are from another story:

"...not to mention being considered the most handsome man in Bar-Sur-Aube. Or at least, this was what he had overheard being said, and he rather fancied that it was true, telling himself reasonably that he had no reason to believe it was not true. "

and my personal favorite:

“Monseigneur,” said Madame de La Motte, “is that monkey putting out the candle with his ass?”

Jerry B. Flory · Jan 10, 2009

“You're a charming anomaly, my young screwed up friend; a mystery compounded by tragedy, multiplied by intelligence to the power of good looks. I apologize if I hurt your feelings, but you need to be aware of the perceptions of others. You're not invisible, ya know. No matter how hard you try to be.”
He's given me a lot to think about in just a few minutes. Maybe he's not such an asshole. His crudeness is part of his charm.
“You're not entirely out of this world, are you? A lot of care goes into that face. How'd you learn to do that?”
“Oh. Yeah. I saw it in a movie.” Another guy who thought he wasn't there.
“Which movie?”
“American Psycho."

Sneaky Devil · Jan 10, 2009

“Where can I get some coffee around here? I need to start my caffeine fix soon.”

“I wouldn’t trust the coffee that’s made in this place. I'm always afraid it's going to sprout limbs and attack."

peachiemkey · Jan 10, 2009

Gynn - I have a line like that - "And YOU--I hope you get your balls chopped off one day real soon!" I put it in there for shizz and giggles, so we'll see if it survives revision

These are all great. I love reading stuff that makes you think, I should write that down somewhere (or, in the case of the internet-obsessed, put it in my signature).

blacbird · Jan 10, 2009

The line, bolded, with little context: A reluctant draftee soldier, newly arrived in Vietnam and awaiting orders along with fifty or so others, as a commanding officer tells them, "Gentlemen, this is a serious war.":

Not for him, no sir, not for Christopher Charles St. John was this going to be a serious war, not if he could help it. He had no desire to come all the way over here to shoot at these people in their own country, just because they were shooting at him for having come all the way over here to their country to shoot at them for shooting at him. Let it be a serious war for somebody else.

caw

nayner · Jan 10, 2009

violettager said:
Cam died in a car accident, and that was the only ordinary thing he ever did.

HA! I love this.

emc07 · Jan 10, 2009

I think this one is okay, not great. The scene it's from is a favorite of mine.

"Her gaze went from me to my hapless brother who was pawing at his suit as if he was suddenly stricken with hives."

Madison · Jan 10, 2009

Dunno if this is my top favorite, but it jumped to mind:

***

"I've never understood that phrase," Sarah said. "Why would you want to drop dead if he's so gorgeous?"

Ciera_ · Jan 10, 2009

FYI, a group of vampires is called a murder in my books. Just like with crows.

“You mean humans?” I asked with one eyebrow cocked. His smile only broadened.
“Don’t look at me like that. You hardly count as a human anymore, Jules. Sure, you’ve got a beating heart, but you’re part of the murder.”
I guess I looked upset and broody, so he punched my shoulder lightly (it hurt, but I didn’t voice a complaint. They occasionally forgot their strength, and I’d long since gotten used to it. Good thing it was winter and I could cover the bruises with long sleeves), laughing evilly and comically to illustrate his point: I was not a normal human, but who would want to be, anyway?

It's a bit long, but it's the only thing that came to mine when I read the OP here, even though I have many more.

ETA: Madison, I really like that one ^.^

StevenJ · Jan 10, 2009

When at last Milea had gone to meet God or Dante, whichever one was on the door this night,
I let him fall into the waiting arms and jaws of Vasile. Dogsbodies love their scraps, you know -
he fairly chewed on the bones until I called him off...

From 'Strigoi Mort', a vampire story.

Karen Duvall · Jan 10, 2009

It sounds strange out of context, but here it is anyway:

Clem grinned and said, "I took her water away. She crumbled like a sand castle in the sun."

Mad Queen · Jan 10, 2009

I've already posted this somewhere else. It came to me a few months ago when I was about to take a shower in a hotel room. I still like it a lot.

‘Thinking outside the box is a dangerous advice. There are boxes within boxes. If you think outside the innermost box, you are creative. Go any further and you are an eccentric, someone who causes a certain discomfort. Break out of all boxes and you are a sociopath.’

It's not the writing or metaphor that I like, but the idea itself.

LaceWing · Jan 10, 2009

A barrel-chested boy filled with hope became a barrel-chested man afraid of deflating.

She_wulf · Jan 10, 2009

It was the second hiss and plop that did him in.

or

“How do you call fifteen an even number?”

Still, neither of these lines compare with Christopher Moore's "She screamed like a bunny in a blender."
That one was genius.

NykeYoung · Jan 10, 2009

My MMC is in an internal monologue about soulmates:

You're the wrong element, even though the divine force can't communicate with any more clarity than an anagram puzzle with half the letters missing, or a magic-eye/origami cross where if you don't get everything exactly right, you see your mother naked or just a piece of crumpled paper and your afternoon go away.

psykeout · Jan 11, 2009

One of the MC's and his partner are joking around. Was writing this and it revolved around sex, actually. It came up and it was mentioned about the Pope being a virgin. It sounds a lot funnier in the text, but I can't post that part without heavy editing. I dunno if that scene will stay in, but my favorite line is : "Debbie Does The Vatican"

MetalDog · Jan 11, 2009

Reading these is a great way to start a Sunday morning =) This is the best I can offer:

He gave her a flower made from silk and silver, telling her, 'Like my love for you, it will never fade or die,' - but it had faded. She had placed it in the brightest sunlight of the windowsill until its colours were bleached to pastel shadows - and still it was not dead enough to please her.

ccarver30 · Jan 11, 2009

I am editing/revising my novel Stone and Glass and I came across this and fell in love with the author.

Brad sat across from Reece and rested his elbows on his knees. “I apologize for barging in on you like this, but I was in the city and thought perhaps you could help me.”
Reece shuddered.
Brad laughed deeply. “I know that you and I have not been… friendly in the past few years.”
“Try ever,” Reece put in with a smirk.
Brad only smiled. “True.”

glendalough · Jan 12, 2009

MetalDog said:
Reading these is a great way to start a Sunday morning =) This is the best I can offer:

He gave her a flower made from silk and silver, telling her, 'Like my love for you, it will never fade or die,' - but it had faded. She had placed it in the brightest sunlight of the windowsill until its colours were bleached to pastel shadows - and still it was not dead enough to please her.

Wow, I loved this!

RJK · Jan 12, 2009

An early morning exchange between police detectives:

He tried to make up for his tardiness by stopping at Tim Horton’s and buying coffees and a dozen doughnuts. He set them down next to another dozen doughnuts purchased by Orca.
"I suppose I can take these down to the desk. The uniformed guys are always ready for a free doughnut."
Orca opened the box, "Don’t be too hasty. You might be giving away my favorite kind buddy."
"What kind is that?" Theron asked.
"I have several," Orca said as he selected a chocolate glazed.

Your favorite one-liners.

circuits in the sea

.

Mackinac Island Fanatic

Wandering worlds

never mind the shorty

under the Milky Way

Tale-spinner

circuits in the sea

Needs more sleep.

Foo Fighters Junkie

summertime...

Ciera_

Bored Fanatic

Chalice the Hatchet Knight

California Mountain Snake

that's me

Whoo! V/A Done!

should be writing instead...

Woof!

Nicole Castro

Not so new as all that, really

Sheriff Bullwinkle the Poet says: