My dry romance... (sex thread!)

Madison · Jan 7, 2009

So here's the scoop:

My WIP is a paranormal romance. The MC just got together with her love interest and they obviously don't just sit around talking about the weather when they're together... hence the "romance". Their physical relationship does start off slowly, but I'm starting to feel... repetitive. I get stuck with a few words to describe their physical actions that basically lose their meaning (and romance) because I use them again and again... and again.

For example: (this is gonna sound awkward, but oh well) slide (as in sliding his hand down her arm) glide (for same purpose) brushing lips, touching fingers. You get the picture. Ditto repetition for my MC's emotional responses to her lover - escalating heartbeat, tingles where he touches, etc.

Unfortunately (at least right now, considering my problem) there are lots of romantic scenes to write. I'm getting bored with the repetition.

So I'm fishing for more variety and more words - and I need help! From you!

(oh btw, no x-rated words, please! the lovers are young and innocent... for now)

James D. Macdonald · Jan 7, 2009

A discrete line of asterisks is always appropriate.

Your readers can always tell when you're bored.

Jerry B. Flory · Jan 7, 2009

If you've already done the body mechanics step out of that realm. There's a very aesthetic world of intimacy that has nothing to do with touching each other or anyone moving their hands.
It's more than the bodies.

GirlWithPoisonPen · Jan 7, 2009

If you're having a difficult time with the description, then don't force it. Fade to black. Plant the seed in your reader's mind as to what will happen, then "close the door."

I discovered that my novel was sexier when I didn't go there. (Not that I don't appreciate a good sex scene.)

smoothseas · Jan 7, 2009

Jerry B. Flory said:
If you've already done the body mechanics step out of that realm. There's a very aesthetic world of intimacy that has nothing to do with touching each other or anyone moving their hands.
It's more than the bodies.

Thank you...

One of the specifics of the genre is that it's character driven.

Aschenbach · Jan 7, 2009

Analogy alert!

Sex scenes are like food/eating scenes. If you describe a character enjoying a great meal, the description won't focus on how they use the knife and fork to cut the food up, how they lift it to their mouth, how many times they chew etc, etc.

Who touched who, where, how, when, is going to get old pretty quickly (you even said yourself you are getting bored writing these scenes). As others have said, it is the more abstracted level of experience that is of interest.

lexxi · Jan 7, 2009

Euphemism, and metonomy or other figures of speech, can be useful too -- you can be a little coy about exactly who is doing what to whom how, but sometimes phrase it in terms that readers can figure it out and feel clever for doing so.

Palmfrond · Jan 7, 2009

Tell us how the participants feel, but not exactly what's being done to make them feel that way.

veinglory · Jan 7, 2009

Ultimately a scene is a scene. Unless the sex is a plot point, a conversation, developing character etc--why show it? I write erotica but the plots are erotic so each sex scene tends to have a point at that place in the story which effects not only what is done, but how and why.

Madison · Jan 7, 2009

Okay, I guess I've given the wrong impression. I meant "romance" ... not sex. I'm not writing sex. Just kissing and etc., clothes on and bedroom door open, and I'm tired of using the word kiss. That's what I meant, at least; sorry if it didn't sound that way.

Although I do appreciate the food analogy and other advice

But anyways, my innocent little WIP is in no way erotic...

Jerry B. Flory · Jan 7, 2009

Same advice.
Five senses plus atmosphere and the "psychic" ability to "sense" your significant other's thoughts and emotions.

rxvenomqueen · Jan 7, 2009

Madison said:
Okay, I guess I've given the wrong impression. I meant "romance" ... not sex. I'm not writing sex. Just kissing and etc., clothes on and bedroom door open, and I'm tired of using the word kiss. That's what I meant, at least; sorry if it didn't sound that way.

Although I do appreciate the food analogy and other advice But anyways, my innocent little WIP is in no way erotic...

Kiss means the lips are used...so instead of your characters using their lips, why not use other parts of their mouth that would convey the feelings they have towards each other? Maybe your female character likes to nuzzle his throat, or maybe he likes to taste test the area directly behind her earlobe using little flicks with his tongue, right where the pulse point is located. Just throwin' ideas out in your direction.

NicoleMD · Jan 7, 2009

The tensions and circumstances leading up to the act are more interesting then the act itself. Show vulnerability and trust, anxiousness and aggressiveness. Love, lust, betrayal, hope. Is it their first time? Makeup sex? Breakup sex? Revenge? A fling?

Just because it's a tender love scene, doesn't mean there can't be great conflict.

Nicole

veinglory · Jan 7, 2009

The same things apply--kissing, why? Why does it move the plot forward?

But I would wonder at them sitting around and necking at many points throughout the book.

psykeout · Jan 7, 2009

I agree with Vein. Why is there so much kissing, if there isn't anything more than that? Unless you have teenagers, which is appropriate, but can get old quickly.

I think that the emotional part of 'romance' is more intoxicating than the description of the act itself (which is something I missed in my first 'romance' story). If they're going to kiss, then describe the thoughts of each in some way, rather than 'Jack kissed Jill.'

That's just my opinion, though.

Jerry B. Flory · Jan 7, 2009

Read "Exit to Eden."
The couple makes love at least every chapter but how many times is it actually described?

Madison · Jan 7, 2009

So far, I fail at clarity. Nope, they're not constantly making out (haha, they are teenagers, though). I guess I'm just short on useful words... Thanks nicole & rx - I liked your suggestions. And thoughts - yes, my MC's a teenage girl, so she thinks a lot

psykeout · Jan 7, 2009

Madison said:
And thoughts - yes, my MC's a teenage girl, so she thinks a lot

There you go! That's enough for a chapter right there.

Teenage female thought process.

Hell...I think you could make millions with a book like that.

RunawayScribe · Jan 8, 2009

TnD said:
Hell...I think you could make millions with a book like that.

Absolutely. People already have! Ever read any of the Alice books by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor? Book after book of teenage-girl thought process. I think she's still going with them, too.

TsukiRyoko · Jan 8, 2009

Describe it in depth during a very few of the more significant moments, and then let it drift off during the other scenes. The writer's get the point. Start off the romantic scene in some catchy way and then... drop it when it's hot (or lukewarm, your choice). Move on. Let the readers use their imagination. It's not just a solution to the repitition problem, it's also a bit classy, tasteful, and a little fun for the readers. Anyone who picks up a romance book (or any book, in a sense) is hoping to be able to drift off a bit when they read, and let their imaginations take the steering wheel.

Good luck

Stunted · Jan 8, 2009

If you definitely want to do a sex scene, maybe you should read some on the internet.

veinglory · Jan 8, 2009

Also, this is labeled "sex thread!" -- so I doubt it will get back to light petting let alone just kissing?

DeleyanLee · Jan 8, 2009

My experience--what they're physically doing is going to get really boring and repetitive because it's more fun to do than to describe.

The power in romantic scenes comes from the emotions the characters are feeling during the touching, the almost touching, the after touching. Any kind of sexual scene is still a scene and needs conflict--so what about this touching and the emotions it stirs is making that conflict? That's where the power of the scene is, not coming up with different ways of saying they kissed.

Get the emotions right and honest and not many will notice if you use the same words for the act repeatedly.

ccarver30 · Jan 8, 2009

DeleyanLee · Jan 8, 2009

One of the greatest comedy books ever written. Also inspiration for one of the best drinking games I've ever participated in.

ccarver30 said:

My dry romance... (sex thread!)

summertime...

Your Genial Uncle

under the Milky Way

Mata Hari

Life sucks... Then ya die...

Moral Marjorie

bold enough for both those XXs

cereal killer

volitare nequeo

summertime...

under the Milky Way

rxvenomqueen

Onomatopotamus

volitare nequeo

should be writing instead...

under the Milky Way

summertime...

should be writing instead...

It is what it is.

Forced into cell phone life

Ich heiße Superphantastisch!

volitare nequeo

Writing Anarchist

Nicole Castro

Writing Anarchist