How do you show "being freaked out?"

underthecity said:

I thought that what I had was ample. The MC is frightened but curious (he's a scientist) and tries to figure out logical explanations for what he saw. But all evidence points to the notion that a ghost appeared and it possessed his body.

Click to expand...

Is it in his character to be more freaked out? You say it yourself, that he's reacting like a curious scientist. Maybe he won't freak out by watching the video tape, even though the reader expects him to (possibly because it's what they, themselves, would do).

Maybe he'll freak out later, after he's done the scientific observing and had a chance to really absorb what he's experienced.

How do you feel when you panic? (Heart racing, sweating, brain befuddlement, weak knees, rubber legs?) What do you observe in others during a frightening situation? (Wide eyes, startle reflex, hair pulling?)

Maybe loud gasp or scream would do? Grabbing a pillow or something?

I'm no help?

Even a calm, curious scientist would be affected by seeing a ghost exit his body. *shrugs* I'd go with his feelings and his physical reactions to the video. It doesn't sound like it's in-character for him to scream or show overt anxiety. But heart racing, head pounding, breathing faster, sweating, his mouth goes dry, his hands could shake. Maybe he'd need to sit down, or maybe he'd shoot out of his chair or grab onto something for support.

Not everyone is going to freak out to the point of overacting and chewing the scenery. How Rip Taylor would play this scene is going to be way different from George Clooney's version!

If he doesn't remember the possession, he can emotionally distance himself from the man on the screen. In that case he can find the stuff deeply disturbing, but he's not going to be backing away in a panic and wringing his hands. The scary stuff is over, after all.

What is this guy's medical background, if any? The scientists I've met tend to be cool observers. Medical doctors are trained to not freak out, but deal with problems.

But in this scene the problem is past.

Be different. Have him looking at the recording of himself possessed and going, "Damn....that's cool!" Then discuss repeating the experiment.

Yeah, sure, it nearly killed him, but he can argue they just need more safeguards in place. Any scientist knows that when you do an experiment you have to make multiple attempts and get repeatedly consistent results to prove or disprove a theory.

underthecity said:

I thought that what I had was ample. The MC is frightened but curious (he's a scientist) and tries to figure out logical explanations for what he saw. But all evidence points to the notion that a ghost appeared and it possessed his body.

Apparently, he needs to be freaked out. That's an easy thing to say: "He was freaked out." But that's telling. How do I show it?

Click to expand...

If it were me in this situation and I was a scientist, from the outside it would appear that I am calm. But, inside my stomach would be churning, my palms sweating, my heart racing. I might be holding my breath or breathing shallowly. Outward signs would be minimal, but might include rubbing my fingers together, jiggling something in my hand, tapping my fingers on something, that kind of thing. I would not be running around the room screaming or fainting. Not everyone reacts the same way to the same stimulus.

To go along with the good suggestions above, I'd be of the "Whoa. What the hell was that?" inclination in writing this, but my hands would be shaking so much I'd have trouble pushing the replay button. I might even fumble and nearly drop the camera while doing so (I presume he's watching on the camera swing-out screen). It would be a combination of nervousness and inquiry, but with a brief dose of the former by itself before they overlap. Then, upon seeing what the tape shows, there could be a settling in of a deeper wonder and a deeper fright: "Crap, that thing almost killed me." would probably lead to some serious dread, even a bit of paranoia. "Is it coming back?"

NeuroFizz said:

"Crap, that thing almost killed me." would probably lead to some serious dread, even a bit of paranoia. "Is it coming back?"

Click to expand...

Or did it leave some of it inside of me?

I was in a tornado last spring, face down in a ditch on the side of the road as it went over my head, sucking at my clothes as I thought I would get lifted off into the sky like Dorothy. How does one show "freaked out?" Let me tell you...

First of all my friend was with me, J. J. was fairly calm through it all, until we made it to a local McDonald's afterwards. And now she can't handle a storm (God bless her) without wanting to dive under something, even at work.

Me? I freaked out at the time, right then and there. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. I drug my friend to the ditch from the car (she's larger than I am and swears had she fallen I would have used my teeth if I had to, to get her down into that ditch.) I threw myself, literally, face down and basically hugged Mother Earth. I was kissing Mother Earth's butt, begging to live. Clawing my way through the thick weeds I dug my fingers down into the dirt, entwining my hands in the roots of the grass/wheat-like stuff we were laying in in an attempt to stay on the ground in the event that the tornado wanted to pluck me from the ditch (irrational? yes- but try being rational when a freight train is passing overhead with 90 MPH winds and complete blackness.) And I shook, prayed, chanted my own personal mantra of, "I don't wanna die, please God don't let me die..." I said the Our Father, I hyperventilated, I cried, and I'm surprised I didn't wet myself. My friend and I clutched each other's hands (her hand was over mine which was still in the ground. I think I tried to literally dig to China that day) and finally, after a few minutes that felt like eternity, it passed by.

Watching it pass off into the distance was surreal- thinking, "OMG I was soooo just in the middle of that!" It had started pouring rain with some hail, and it took my friend a minute to peel me from the earth (and it took me a week to get the dirt out from under my nails.) We were wet, muddy and bleeding (a few little things must have cut us in the wind.)

Now in the event of a large storm my eyes are on the sky- and always will be. But... it changed my life forever. I made some promises then, and one was to live to my full potential, which included finally finishing a book (which I did!) But- please see above as to how a person might freak out. LOLOL. LOTS of shaking and accelerated heart rate, panic, hives (really bad hives from the rush of adrenaline) tears, heavy breathing, and making deals with the good lord to just let me live. I was also very sick for about a month afterwards from an overdose of adrenaline (no lie) and all the crap I breathed in out in that field.

One thing I did do correctly was, when the tornado was coming, used common sense to force myself out of the SUV. I didn't want to get out, but I knew we had to or else we could have toppled over. I didn't reak out until it was appropriate to do so. Weird. I was calm when we saw it. Always wondered what I'd do under pressure! My friend was immensely helpful too. We worked well together!

underthecity said:

Here's the scenario. In my story, the MC is possessed by a ghost (and the event is recorded on videotape), and while in that state, he almost dies until the ghost leaves his body. Later on, he watches the videotape and sees himself get possessed. As he watches the tape, he sees the ghost leaves his body. Soon after, the ghost is briefly seen on the tape.

Two different readers have commented the same thing. "I would have been freaked out," said one. The other said, "He's not freaked out enough by this event."

I thought that what I had was ample. The MC is frightened but curious (he's a scientist) and tries to figure out logical explanations for what he saw. But all evidence points to the notion that a ghost appeared and it possessed his body.

Apparently, he needs to be freaked out. That's an easy thing to say: "He was freaked out." But that's telling. How do I show it?

Click to expand...

My favorite is hairs raising on the back of one's neck or (goose)bumps along one's skin. If a person isn't (due to the character) supposed to show really obvious signs, that's one that keeps with their character and still conveys it to the reader.

I agree with the posters that said your friends might have freaked out but I somehow doubt a scientist would respond the same way. (At least not the ones I know.)

I think hisr actions would hinge on whether he remembers what happened. In other words, does he remember being possessed.

Was his body taken over so completely that he doesn't remember the whole episode? Then he would probably watch the tape with more curiosity than fear.

Or was he actually 'aware' while this was happening? Did he feel intense pain or a malevolent 'presence'. Did terrible images run through his mind, etc.? In that case, there might be more fear involved.

But in either case, I don't think he'd 'freak out' (i.e. run around screaming, etc.) Maybe start breathing faster, unconsiously (sp?) clutch his pencil so hard it snapped -- stuff like that.

Is anyone with him as he's watching this? Maybe you can contrast their reactions to show the difference in their personalities or whatever.

With a scientist I think his level of "freaking out" would depend on whether or not the possession was something he was studying. If the cameras were already in place to document the event, then he was studying something.

If he was a staunch "I don't believe in ghosts, there's no afterlife" kind of guy and was suddenly presented with evidence to the contrary, then his belief system could be affected. This could cause a reaction.

The Bookshelf Muse has a good emotional thesaurus. I use this when I can't sort an emotion out myself. Give it a whirl, see what it gives you (list is in the sidebar).

Can you show his thoughts, or is it not in that kind of POV? That's always a good way to go.

Scientists are humans just like everyone else, with the same kinds of reactions to surprising or startling stimuli. Their inquisitiveness, if it applies to the particular stimulus, will typically kick in after all sense of personal danger is past and all normal human reactions to potential danger have run their course.

People have made good comments esp. re: how freaked out would YOUR character be -that's up to you to decide. But what about a delayed reaction? Some time later, when the adrenalin has gone, he could have a panic attack or throw up or whatever you deem appropriate.

Clare

NeuroFizz said:

Scientists are humans just like everyone else, with the same kinds of reactions to surprising or startling stimuli.

Click to expand...

THANK YOU!

I'm a human and I'm a scientist. I can freak myself out while reading real life ghost stories. In the lab, I'm as calm and level headed as you please, but put me face to face with a ghost, a freaking ghost!, and I will leave you all for dead in the heebeegeebees department.

Cultural background as oppossed to profession will probably have more to do with how your character will react. I work with several Asian people and the stories they tell of traditional ghosts, talismen and magicians would freak any normal person out, and they're all scientists as well. Go figure.

But, if your character is studying ghosts, I'd temper any freak-out-ability with his knowledge and understanding of what's going on.

There are many different types of scientists. Case in point, one day while collecting a blood specimen off a patient, she asked me what my 'job' was. I said I was a scientist. She, no joke, demanded to know what I was doing wasting my time in pathology when I could be out there making rockets.

The lesson is this, folks - don't judge a scientist by their lab coat.

Cheers, Lisa.

Your MC is the POV character, so listing physical signs of being freaked out (hands are trembling, heart is racing) is not enough. Actually I think it's a poor way to show emotion. Internal monologue and description of what the character experiences are way, way better. If he freaked out, there's a reason why he freaked out. Is it because he lost control of his own body? Is it because he could have done something illegal or embarassing while possessed? So describe the images from the videotape as your MC sees it, as something that freaks him out, and record his thoughts. Making him scream or tremble will seem melodramatic if it doesn't match his thoughts.

OK, since I was one of those two readers who said the character didn't freak out enough, I was saying that (obviously) from a reader's perspective.

To me, if the scientist doesn't freak out in this situation or show some other strong emotion, I won't feel much as a reader. His nonchalant reaction to what he saw on tape made me feel nonchalant. I didn't feel emotion. And that emotion should be something strong to pull the reader in. After all, it is a ghost story and this scene occurs close to the beginning.

Ghost stories should be creepy, and from what I understand, you're trying to write something closer to The Shining than to Ghostbusters.

Maybe I'm wrong. Depends on what you're going for.

Reacting to something that shocking can take many forms. Some people react by not being able to perform simple tasks.
Rather than spooning sugar into his coffee, he pours his coffee into the sugar bowl, then he tries to drink from the inverted cup. His hand shaking so hard the cup is rattling against his teeth.

Okay, I don't want to be negative here, but I think the whole panic/run-screaming-from-room/gasp/shudder/get sick/etc, etc, thing is just cheesy. It happens in real life, yes. But it's not very subtle, and it's too easy to generalize. We don't really know what the character is reacting to or how he/she feels. We just know that they "gasped with horror, and ran screaming from the room."

Sorry. That still came across as negative...what I'm saying is that I would try and take a subtler approach, try and show the psychological impact. Try to be inside his head. I'm pretty sure you write in third-person (?) so I know that isn't exactly easy.

If this was me, watching myself get possessed, I would be imagining it, experiencing it even as I watched, but also feeling helpless and panicked because it already *had* happened. I'd be horrified and repulsed. I'd feel paranoid and phobic. I think it's a little like when you walk alone in the dark, hear things rustling in the grass, and you start to walk faster, then you break into a run. It's about you psyching yourself out - not running.

Does that make some kind of sense?

Okay, to heck with it, here's an example:

"Cody imagined the vapor entering his body. He could almost sense how the cold weight would grapple around his veins. He imagined the whisper of other voices inside his head. And watching the recording, he felt himself writhing against it: resisting the cold as it chilled his blood, the shapeless hands as they pried open his mind. And as each body part surrendered one by one, his voice screamed hollow in the bowl of his skull, silent beneath his glazed eyes.

"You're shaking," Jackie said.

Cody shook his head. Kept shaking it. Found himself backing away. He clenched his fist, but the fingers weren't his; it was as if someone else was touching him with his fingers, as if they had ejected him from his own mind.

The recording continued mercilessly on..."

I have no clue if that will really help you or not. But from what I've heard of your story, I don't think a dramatic physical reaction - throwing up, fainting, whatever - would work unless you gave us the emotional/psychological impact first. (Maybe you'd want to post the scene in the share your work forum?)

Anywho, hope this helps
-Feathers

PS: Congrats on finishing!!!

Cheers!

CaroGirl said:

How do you feel when you panic? (Heart racing, sweating, brain befuddlement, weak knees, rubber legs?) What do you observe in others during a frightening situation? (Wide eyes, startle reflex, hair pulling?)

Click to expand...

And what thoughts go through your head? At what tempo? How fragmented are your thoughts, and how disconnected from each other?

What do you attend to, whether in your body, in your thoughts, or in your surroundings? How do you react to what you observe from those places?

Dale