If you like sexy vampires...

Smiling Ted · Dec 15, 2008

...you'll hate this.

Heh-heh.

SPMiller · Dec 15, 2008

Wow, the novel/movie have to be really bad to support a parody like that.

Makai_Lightning · Dec 16, 2008

Smiling Ted said:
...you'll hate this.

Heh-heh.

You.

You're my new favorite.

This is awesome.

And indeed, it really is really bad.

Fenika · Dec 16, 2008

I saw this before. My favorite line:

So, the next generation of young women are currently flocking to see a female lead starring in a movie by a female director based on a bestselling book by a female author, and in this movie the main character wants to become completely submissive and self-sacrificing for a male.

Now if my friend asks me if I want to go see it with her, I will give a very resolute NO. Those nuts aren't getting my royalties.

Smiling Ted · Dec 16, 2008

Makai, Adzmodeus, thanks.

And for the Wonderella fans, a little lagniappe.

Sassee · Dec 16, 2008

Smiling Ted said:
...you'll hate this.

Heh-heh.

Yeah, I passed that around to everyone I knew yesterday. There was much LOL'ing in the office.

dclary · Dec 16, 2008

KRISTEN STEWART
Wait, we can't have sex at all, and you can't suck my blood? How can you make a vampire movie without anyone sucking blood?

ROBERT PATTINSON
It's alright, I think this movie already has more than enough sucking.

Teh awesomest!

Dave.C.Robinson · Dec 16, 2008

Now that's Twilight

Salem · Dec 16, 2008

That is hilarious! And not too far from the actual script!

Sadly, though, I'm such a sick pervert I'd happily go again just to for the eye candy. Yes, I'm pathetic.

Tepelus · Dec 16, 2008

Pretty funny stuff.

Mr Flibble · Dec 16, 2008

Sadly, though, I'm such a sick pervert I'd happily go again just to for the eye candy. Yes, I'm pathetic.

There's eye candy? Must have not been in the trailer or something.

Funny link - and makes me glad I haven't, nor am likely to, see the film.

Makai_Lightning · Dec 16, 2008

IdiotsRUs said:
Funny link - and makes me glad I haven't, nor am likely to, see the film.

One of my best friends loves that movie immensely for the sole reason that it's "possibly the worst movie [she's] ever seen". It was great: she saw the movie twice when it came out with twilight-obsessors, then the next time I saw her she spend at least a half an hour trashing every second of it. Think she only stopped because we had to go to class.

"And then they literally just hopped around the forrest for like, an hour."

MDSchafer · Dec 16, 2008

I had to bite my tongue so that I wouldn't annoy my coworkers.

This script actually makes me want to see the movie just so I can mock it. If only there were a way to watch a movie without having to go to the theater or pay for it....

Makai_Lightning · Dec 16, 2008

MDSchafer said:
I had to bite my tongue so that I wouldn't annoy my coworkers.

This script actually makes me want to see the movie just so I can mock it. If only there were a way to watch a movie without having to go to the theater or pay for it....

You mean "if only those $5 movies they sold in chinatown worked."

ChaosTitan · Dec 16, 2008

Since this is a parody of the film, I'm popping it up to TV & Movies.

MDSchafer · Dec 20, 2008

OMG!!!! As part of my "Cool Uncle" responsibilities I got roped into seeing this movie today and it has more laugh out loud unintentional humorous bits in it than any movie I've ever seen.

Then after I got home I looked up the plot to the books on Wikipeda (and you know that entry is true because teenage girls love their internet) and OMG, worst plot ever. Seriously, I don't see what people see in this movie, its just wrong, and somewhat racist (The only black kid in the school almost accidentally kills Bella and the one black woman is a waitress in some cheap diner.)

dclary · Dec 21, 2008

MDSchafer said:
OMG!!!! As part of my "Cool Uncle" responsibilities I got roped into seeing this movie today and it has more laugh out loud unintentional humorous bits in it than any movie I've ever seen.

Then after I got home I looked up the plot to the books on Wikipeda (and you know that entry is true because teenage girls love their internet) and OMG, worst plot ever. Seriously, I don't see what people see in this movie, its just wrong, and somewhat racist (The only black kid in the school almost accidentally kills Bella and the one black woman is a waitress in some cheap diner.)

Have you BEEN to the Pacific Northwest? That's not racist, that's demographically accurate (at least in proportion, if not characterization). The state's demos are 88% white/hispanic, 4% black, 2% american indian -- and because the american indians are generally centralized into reservation areas, it makes sense that they outnumbered the blacks in the movie, since most of the blacks in washington live in larger urban areas (esp. Seattle and Tacoma).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington#Race

MDSchafer · Dec 21, 2008

I'm not saying that its racist that there are only three black people, I just think its a bit wrong that the only black student almost kills Bella, another is a waitress and other is a vampire. It just sorta seems insensitive to me.

MattW · Dec 21, 2008

MDSchafer said:
I'm not saying that its racist that there are only three black people, I just think its a bit wrong that the only black student almost kills Bella, another is a waitress and other is a vampire. It just sorta seems insensitive to me.

The whole movie is insensitive to vampires - having them stuck with bland, fan-girl, whiney teenage stalkers?

Worse than undeath.

If you like sexy vampires...

Smiling Ted

Ah-HA!

SPMiller

Prodigiously Hanged

Makai_Lightning

Love Addict

Fenika

Smiling Ted

Ah-HA!

Sassee

Momma Wolf

dclary

Unabashed Mercenary

Dave.C.Robinson

... with the High Command

Salem

query-impaired

Tepelus

And so...

Mr Flibble

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Makai_Lightning

Love Addict

MDSchafer

Makai_Lightning

Love Addict

ChaosTitan

Around

MDSchafer

dclary

Unabashed Mercenary

MDSchafer

MattW

Company Man