Yogi turns 80

[NeuroFizz]

In honor of Yogi Berra's 80th birthday, anyone interested in forwarding examples of twisted syntax, mixed metaphors, double entendre (intentional or not), extreme irony, or just plain screw-ups in yours or someone else's writing? It doesn't have to be fiction. The typical Yogisms can be omitted, but more obscure ones would be appreciated.

For example:
Years ago, the course catalog of a PAC-10 university had the following inclusion under the requirements for a BA in Leisure Studies/Recreation. "...at least 25 clock hours of internship..." except they left the "l" out of clock. It read fine both ways considering the major.

[Maryn]

One of my favorites, fully worthy of Yogi, was a Yahoo! headline last summer.

"Girl mauled by mountain lion in fair condition"

I suppose a mountain lion in really good condition would have killed her.

Maryn

[oswann]

'New York ban on boxing after death.'

'Kicking baby considered to be healthy.'

'Milk drinkers are turning to powder.'

'Lenin's body moved.'





I have a ton of these.
Os.

[LightShadow]

The most famous, of course, is: "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical." Then there's: "You can observe a lot by watching." "In baseball, you don't know nothing." "A nickel aint worth a dime anymore." "It's deja vu all over again." "If you come to a fork in the road, take it." "Think? How the hell are gonna think and hit at the same time?" "Hey Yogi? What time is it? - - - You mean now?" "I usually take a two-hour nap, from one o'clock to four." "If the people don't want to come out to the park, nobody's going to stop them." "Why buy luggage? You only use it when you travel." "I really didn't say everything I said."

You gotta love him.

[LightShadow]

I have another Yogism: Once referring to a popular restaurant, he said: "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."

[Vomaxx]

The waitress who brought Yogi a pizza asked if he wanted it cut into four or eight pieces. "Four," he said. "I don't think I could eat eight."

[Kallahan]

There's always the newspaper headline that reported on a midgit fugitive phscice(sic, its too late to spell correctly). Small Medium At Large, of course thats more of a play on words.

[LightShadow]

Upon being told by the wife of New York Mayor John V. Lindsay that he looked cool despite the heat, Yogi responded, "You don't look so hot, either."

[LightShadow]

When referring to Ted Williams he said, "He's a big clog in their machine."

[SJB]

I love this recent headline:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/index.cfm?c_id=2&ObjectID=10121243

[LightShadow]

I love this recent headline:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/index.cfm?c_id=2&ObjectID=10121243
Yogi would have been proud!