STD's in a romance?

bylinebree · Nov 30, 2008

Yes, I do mean STD as in 'sexually transmitted...' disease.

What do you think? :Shrug:

It doesn't sound very romantic, does it? It's a 'what if' I'm toying with in my newest project, so I thought I'd throw it out to the Forum.

What if the hero got one in the recent past, was treated/cured of it, and has now learned not play around so-to-speak? And now he's very, very careful...and practically chaste. Almost allergic to sex.

Is this just too 'ew'? Anyone seen a story that deals with it that is in the Romance genre?

vixey · Nov 30, 2008

I've never seen it. And it could really depend on the Publisher's tastes. Having recently shopped a romance with some Romance publishers, I've learned they rarely deviate from their guidelines.

Gillhoughly · Nov 30, 2008

Romances are ultimately fantasies.

Happy fantasies.

Babies are always welcomed by their parents, and nasty, fatal things like STDs don't exist. Birth control is barely mentioned.

You cannot have much about the practical side of having safe sex in a romance or it destroys the fantasy.

I've read exactly TWO romances where safe sex was even implied.

The newlyweds (it's a bit late by then) assure each other they don't have AIDs. It was referred to as "having to ask those sad questions of the times" or something like that. (Some friends of mine who dated exclusively for years still went in to get tested before tying the knot.)

In the other it's mentioned that the MC keeps a box of Magnums (optimistic of her) on her bedside table.

And that's IT.

On one side one may argue that it's wholly unrealistic to ignore something so important and that true love will always fix everything. (My first serious relationship cured me of that myth pretty quick.)

On the other, romance fans understand that it's all fantasy, and don't really care. They want escape from reality, a caring, monogamous, hawt hero with broad shoulders and a cowboy butt, and a happy ending for all.

Editors, who keep their jobs by catering to the laws of supply and demand, are well aware of that angle. They won't be likely to buy a book that deals with any aspect of STDs--even if it's from an established writer!

scarletpeaches · Nov 30, 2008

Gillhoughly said:
...In the other it's mentioned that the MC keeps a box of Magnums (optimistic of her) on her bedside table...

At first I thought of guns.

Then I realised, in the UK, a magnum is a choc ice on a stick.

I'm assuming you're referring to something different to both those definitions.

shameless · Nov 30, 2008

Because I write contemporaries, I felt it would be irresponsible not to mention the characters considering safe sex. The notion is at least discussed by the h/h in some way or another in all my stories. Didn't seem to turn off my publisher at all. FWIW...

As far as an STD, I'd have a lot of trouble getting past the "ewww" factor. I understand your motivation to use it as part of your characterization, but... I would REALLY be turned off by a hero who got an STD.

Jersey Chick · Nov 30, 2008

I'm going to echo about the ick factor. Even if the hero learned his lesson, it would still color my perception of him. Maybe a secondary character could have the STD and the hero could use him/her as an example.

JMHO, of course.

smoothseas · Nov 30, 2008

Gillhoughly said:
They want escape from reality, a caring, monogamous, hawt hero with broad shoulders and a cowboy butt, and a happy ending for all.

Editors, who keep their jobs by catering to the laws of supply and demand, are well aware of that angle. They won't be likely to buy a book that deals with any aspect of STDs--even if it's from an established writer!

So true and well-said..

If you're targeting a specific line, become conversant with their current guidelines, and don't deviate.

Write a believable, character-driven story, a glowing query, a solid synopsis – and you’re on your way.

Good luck!

veinglory · Nov 30, 2008

By 2000 safe sex was up to 10% of genre romance according to a rather large random sample. I suspect it is higher now.

But a man giving up sex due to a curable STD (so not even something like herpes, let alone HIV) strikes me as neurotic. Just use a condom, dude.

scarletpeaches · Nov 30, 2008

My characters use condoms.

None of them have front-bottom cooties.

That is all.

smoothseas · Nov 30, 2008

Safe sex should be a given.

I though the original question was 'would it fly, if the op's mc had acquired a sdt?'

scarletpeaches · Nov 30, 2008

I vote 'ick'.

I know it happens in real life, but...my initial reaction would be, "How much of a hero could they be if they were careless enough to catch pube-rot?"

Sorry, but...that's what I would think.

Gillhoughly · Nov 30, 2008

I'm assuming you're referring to something different to both those definitions.

What the well-equipped, well-dressed man should always wear!

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mscelina · Nov 30, 2008

...or aspire to...

seaaircarol · Nov 30, 2008

But what if he got the STD from the woman he once considered his true love, who cheated on him. Then he would not only be concerned about it happening again (getting an STD), but he'd be reluctant to fall in love because he'd been betrayed before. Then he meets the female MC, and there's a bunch of inner conflict there.

I think that could be interesting.

IMHO.

scarletpeaches · Nov 30, 2008

I'd be reluctant to call a man a credible hero if he had a foosty dinkle.

Okay, I'm gonna leave this thread now, before I use the phrase 'scrotal fungus'.

job · Nov 30, 2008

bylinebree said:
...
What if the hero got one in the recent past, was treated/cured of it, and has now learned not play around so-to-speak? And now he's very, very careful...and practically chaste. Almost allergic to sex.

Big gick factor for me, with a side of, 'What a Doofus.' and 'Who has he been sleeping with?'

For dessert, I get a small dish of ... 'if he was stupid enough to get X, he probably has asymptomatic herpes.'

Not Romantic, really.

Noah Body · Nov 30, 2008

Oh my God, what a funny question! Seems like the CW is no way, it'd be a killer, but you know...if you can make it really twisted and funny, who knows?

PattiTheWicked · Nov 30, 2008

seaaircarol said:
But what if he got the STD from the woman he once considered his true love, who cheated on him. Then he would not only be concerned about it happening again (getting an STD), but he'd be reluctant to fall in love because he'd been betrayed before. Then he meets the female MC, and there's a bunch of inner conflict there.

I think that could be interesting.

IMHO.

Interesting, maybe. Romantic, no. Not at all. If I started reading a romance and the male lead revealed he'd been treated for crotchcritters, I'd shut the book and be done.

The fact that she'd cheated on him could be enough impetus to keep him from falling in love again. If you really want to give someone the clap, have it be his horn-dog best friend.

Deb Kinnard · Nov 30, 2008

I'm with the others on the eww-factor. Save it for a secondary char, IMO.

Cassiopeia · Nov 30, 2008

The mere reading of STD brings any thought of romance to a screeching halt for me.

Gillhoughly · Nov 30, 2008

I can pretty much guarantee that an editor would turn that one down for any romance line.

Women's fiction is a different critter, but not romance.

Romance readers want love, not an ew.

It's enough that the woman he loved was unfaithful, leaving him emotionally scarred and distrustful. He can come to realize that not all women are skanks like his ex.

NOW--here's what happened with one of my buds and HER book idea:

She'd done her best to sell a romantic thriller about a woman with leukemia, 8 million bucks, and a missing brother who could save her life with a bone marrow transplant.

No publisher would touch it. Her agent tried for years. Nothing.

It was a well written story, but they hated the disease thing. They liked everything else but that.

She stewed, then hit on the idea that her MC had a demonic infection and must find the one man on the planet who might be able to save her life.

They couldn't get enough of a fatal supernatural disease! The book went to auction and sold for a very nice advance.

Here it is...

She's working on the ninth or tenth book now....

smoothseas · Nov 30, 2008

Inspiring story, Gil.

One writer, at a conference, kept reiterating 'it's all about fresh.'

Keyan · Nov 30, 2008

I have to say, I read the headline and LOLOL...

Maybe not the reaction you were seeking.

bylinebree said:
Yes, I do mean STD as in 'sexually transmitted...' disease.

What do you think?

It doesn't sound very romantic, does it? It's a 'what if' I'm toying with in my newest project, so I thought I'd throw it out to the Forum.

What if the hero got one in the recent past, was treated/cured of it, and has now learned not play around so-to-speak? And now he's very, very careful...and practically chaste. Almost allergic to sex.

Is this just too 'ew'? Anyone seen a story that deals with it that is in the Romance genre?

scarletpeaches · Nov 30, 2008

I love it when a man scratches my back mid-'act' and he can't do that if he's constantly scratching his peen-gremlins.

Okay, okay...don't worry...I'm leaving...

Keyan · Nov 30, 2008

So Love Story is so last generation?

Gillhoughly said:
NOW--here's what happened with one of my buds and HER book idea:

She'd done her best to sell a romantic thriller about a woman with leukemia, 8 million bucks, and a missing brother who could save her life with a bone marrow transplant.

No publisher would touch it. Her agent tried for years. Nothing.

It was a well written story, but they hated the disease thing. They liked everything else but that..

STD's in a romance?

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