i'm not a writer. however, i have accidentally been living a "you simply can't make this up" kind of life. and sometimes when it goes completely over the top i have to write it down. (have you ever taught yourself to ice climb, taken a 40' fall, put an ice axe through your leg and spent the next 3 days snowed in alongside the highway in your van while infection sneaks up your leg only to be rescued by a preacher on a snow-mobile? that kind of stuff happens to me ... all the time.)
Anyway, here's what happened: My brother was looking for something to read during his morning constitutional. He picked up a spiral notebook that was laying on the table. 45 mins later he came out asking me where the rest of it was. he was giggling like a delinquent with a new bb gun. it was something i had written about the united states naval academy (we both did hard time there, it's a million dollar education ... shoved up your butt a nickel at a time). originally it was just my response to "A Nightengale's Song" but it kinda took on a life of it's own...
i promised my bro i would pursue publication (in my defense we were drinking Jeremiah Weed....) and now i'm kinda stuck. you see, we are both still active duty ... and i'm pretty sure that the Public Affairs Office of the United States Navy would not be terribly pleased about my "less than reverent" treatment of one of their venerated institutions. i'm moderately certain that the statute of limitations is expired on most of the stuff but i still don't need some herbivore jacking up my "career" just because of some silly stories.
SO -- how do i go about publishing as anonymously as i can? I mean, anyone who reads it (like my college roomate) will know who wrote it, and that's fine (most of my friends are anti-big-brother as well). But i would like to give myself some "distance" (pronounced: plausible deniability). Can i call it "fiction"? How much do i have to change the names? Can a book agent/pub company somewhat protect your actual identity (even if it's obvious it can still be hard to prove in court -- i learned that when uhhh... a "friend" was involved in a public urination charge and he ran from the cops ... be careful if you do this, sometimes a $345 fine is totally worth it - my brother had to get stitches after this incident, NOT cool).
i am somewhat "finished" with the academy book, am considering cleaning up some stuff about life in a navy fighter squadron, the "real" topgun, "how to hunt terrorists from 41,000 feet" and last but not least "a year on the ground in iraq as an aviator; a tourists guide"
but with all of that i would like to somewhat distance myself from it - not because there would be anything operationally compromising (no, the public does NOT need to know everything) -- but because i have a fairly cynical view of the whole thing. love my buddies (would, and have, gone to jail for them) but not sure that the "management" always knows what the heck is REALLY going on.
if you have other advice for me (like how David Sedaris and Chelsea Handler broke into the market...and how Stephen King gets away with sentence fragments and made up words) i'm all ears. if you just want to bust on my spelling and grammar, save it -- i know better than you do that i'm a total idiot (scary huh? since i've probably flown over your house with a bunch of live bombs ... and where i hang my ipod in the cockpit is right next to the master arm switch). just kidding, go ahead and bust on it. i would obviously need someone who didn't skip high school english class (to go fishing) to help me edit my non-sensical babblings. if you have ideas on that i'll take those as well
Just so i don't get flamed too much: i have lurked a bit, i "get" the standard publishing process, my confusion is where this genre fits in (novel, memoir, confession, wasted paper) and how anonymous i could expect to be. oh, also, i might be wasting my time seeking publication - you tell me.
Thanks in advance and hi!
Anyway, here's what happened: My brother was looking for something to read during his morning constitutional. He picked up a spiral notebook that was laying on the table. 45 mins later he came out asking me where the rest of it was. he was giggling like a delinquent with a new bb gun. it was something i had written about the united states naval academy (we both did hard time there, it's a million dollar education ... shoved up your butt a nickel at a time). originally it was just my response to "A Nightengale's Song" but it kinda took on a life of it's own...
i promised my bro i would pursue publication (in my defense we were drinking Jeremiah Weed....) and now i'm kinda stuck. you see, we are both still active duty ... and i'm pretty sure that the Public Affairs Office of the United States Navy would not be terribly pleased about my "less than reverent" treatment of one of their venerated institutions. i'm moderately certain that the statute of limitations is expired on most of the stuff but i still don't need some herbivore jacking up my "career" just because of some silly stories.
SO -- how do i go about publishing as anonymously as i can? I mean, anyone who reads it (like my college roomate) will know who wrote it, and that's fine (most of my friends are anti-big-brother as well). But i would like to give myself some "distance" (pronounced: plausible deniability). Can i call it "fiction"? How much do i have to change the names? Can a book agent/pub company somewhat protect your actual identity (even if it's obvious it can still be hard to prove in court -- i learned that when uhhh... a "friend" was involved in a public urination charge and he ran from the cops ... be careful if you do this, sometimes a $345 fine is totally worth it - my brother had to get stitches after this incident, NOT cool).
i am somewhat "finished" with the academy book, am considering cleaning up some stuff about life in a navy fighter squadron, the "real" topgun, "how to hunt terrorists from 41,000 feet" and last but not least "a year on the ground in iraq as an aviator; a tourists guide"
but with all of that i would like to somewhat distance myself from it - not because there would be anything operationally compromising (no, the public does NOT need to know everything) -- but because i have a fairly cynical view of the whole thing. love my buddies (would, and have, gone to jail for them) but not sure that the "management" always knows what the heck is REALLY going on.
if you have other advice for me (like how David Sedaris and Chelsea Handler broke into the market...and how Stephen King gets away with sentence fragments and made up words) i'm all ears. if you just want to bust on my spelling and grammar, save it -- i know better than you do that i'm a total idiot (scary huh? since i've probably flown over your house with a bunch of live bombs ... and where i hang my ipod in the cockpit is right next to the master arm switch). just kidding, go ahead and bust on it. i would obviously need someone who didn't skip high school english class (to go fishing) to help me edit my non-sensical babblings. if you have ideas on that i'll take those as well
Just so i don't get flamed too much: i have lurked a bit, i "get" the standard publishing process, my confusion is where this genre fits in (novel, memoir, confession, wasted paper) and how anonymous i could expect to be. oh, also, i might be wasting my time seeking publication - you tell me.
Thanks in advance and hi!
