Doors? DOORS!

xDemode · Sep 30, 2008

As I was wading through the primordial slop that is my first draft, I noticed that I say "the door opened" and "the door closed/shut" a lot. It's almost embarrassing. I did a "find" on the word door, and stopped counting when I hit 50 and was only a third of the way through my manuscript.

I've let someone read my first draft and they commented on me reusing a different word over and over, and I had only used that word three throughout the entire story. They didn't notice the word door, however.

But I notice it. And I want it gone.

I know I've read threads where others have mentioned "problem" words that they often reuse. But somehow, this seems different. What are ways to eliminate making a character use a door without having them magically relocate to a different place?

Or can you make a character magically relocate to a different place and not have it insanely obvious?

MagicMan · Sep 30, 2008

Most definitely!
Rose-marie entered the room...
His entrance was a grand florish of waving hands and dutiful smiles.
He rammed his way out of the room ...
A near silent creak and a glimmer of the hall light warned...

Smiles
Bob

You can also change the focus to other components of the door.

He grabbed the greasy handle and pushed down, with a crack the tiny slit allowed him to ...
The rotten boards barely support the brass knob, and rattled as he opened it to a surprising sterile room.
The hingles creaked as he pull with all his might...

qwerty · Sep 30, 2008

Eek, you've made me think!

I've got people coming from the house onto a veranda - quite a lot of times - maybe too many times!

I have them leaving the kitchen to answer a phone in the hall, or coming into a room, but I've just realised you could think there are no doors, except for one that someone waits until he's heard it close before speaking.

Off to search for verandas and maybe put in an odd door or two.

TheIT · Sep 30, 2008

If the journey is boring, just show the character arriving at the destination. Readers will assume the character used the door unless otherwise noted.

Red-Green · Oct 1, 2008

Bingo. Even in stories with supernatural elements, most readers will assume your characters get around the same way they do--by walking and opening doors and the like. You don't have to spell out a lot of mundane stuff.

TheIT said:
Readers will assume the character used the door unless otherwise noted.

Phaeal · Oct 1, 2008

I'll bet the word that your beta noticed was an unusual one. Unusual words stand out when repeated; common words, like "door" do not. I'd also bet that the average reader wouldn't be bothered by your plethora of doors, so long as the story itself is engaging.

The language-sensitive reader (which would include writers, one hopes) often does notice extraneous or overdetailed actions, as you have, even if he doesn't actually pinpoint what's causing his sense of lag and padding. One of my own pet peeves is writing like this:

He crossed the room and opened the door. He went through the door into the next room, crossed it, and opened another door, which went outside, and he stepped out into the snow.

You can get this poor man outside much more quickly. A simple "He stepped out into the snow" might do, depending on whether anything interesting happened on his way through the house.

mscelina · Oct 1, 2008

LMAO! In Darkshifters I have to use the word door when someone uses it--because half the characters don't need to use the door to move from place to place.

Must be doomed.

CaroGirl · Oct 1, 2008

Unless the door is somehow significant to setting, why mention it? Readers assume that when a character comes into a room, they come in through a door. You don't often tell readers that characters walked across the floor, right? That's assumed.

Joe came in through the door, shut the door behind him, and walked across the floor to the window.

Joe came in and walked to the window.

FennelGiraffe · Oct 1, 2008

Phaeal said:
I'll bet the word that your beta noticed was an unusual one. Unusual words stand out when repeated; common words, like "door" do not. I'd also bet that the average reader wouldn't be bothered by your plethora of doors, so long as the story itself is engaging.

Exactly my thought. 'Door' is a low-visibility word. Fifty uses in a third of a novel? That averages around one every two to three pages. Unless they're tightly clustered--numerous 'doors' on the same page could be a problem--I doubt most readers would notice.

The other point is also important. Sometimes it isn't necessary to mention a door at all. I bet you can eliminate half of those.

HelloKiddo · Oct 1, 2008

I bet you can eliminate half of those.

I bet you could eliminate most of them, if not all.

xDemode · Oct 1, 2008

Thanks everyone for all the help.

It is a slightly unusual word that my beta noticed, and I'm hoping that the reason the beta didn't notice the word door is because she was so engaged with the story. :hooray:

I'm going to try to eliminate the majority of both problem words from the story. I was just afraid that if I took the word door out, people would say, "OMG, THERE'S NO DOORS?! THIS IS HORRIBLE!"

I freak out over weird stuff.

Thanks again x 100!

sharla · Oct 2, 2008

Unless it signifies something like emotion... "He slammed the door behind him, rattling the windows." Shows he's angry.

I had alot of that too. Picking up a phone to dial it, listening to the ring, answering "hello?", talking, then hanging up. Phones are always ringing in my ms. I cut about half the phone etiquette description.

Also my characters did alot of eyebrow raising, smiling, and shrugging. Didn't realize that till I did a search and found out these people were a bunch of twitching grinning idiots.

"Search" is a scary thing sometimes.

Doors? DOORS!

xDemode

Buying a stairway to hell.

MagicMan

qwerty

exiled Brit

TheIT

Infuriatingly Theoretical

Red-Green

KoalaKoalaKoala!

Phaeal

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

mscelina

Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you

CaroGirl

Living the dream

FennelGiraffe

It's green they say

HelloKiddo

bemused observer

xDemode

Buying a stairway to hell.

sharla

What's up??