Good sex words

ELMontague · Sep 10, 2008

Folks,

I find myself at a loss for words, not a normal condition for me. As I worked through the revisions for my piece on SYW based on Maryn's comments, I noticed that I don't use all that many different words for genitalia.

There's another thread here on words that don't work. How about the words that do? We've got the half-dozen words or so that got our mouths washed out with soap as kids. Those come off as gross if overused. But what does work?

I'd actually like the list, so if the mods want this moved to SYW that's fine, but I still want some opinions.

ELMontague · Sep 10, 2008

This is the one with "gag me" words. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=87833

veinglory · Sep 10, 2008

I think 'cock' is like 'said'. It's the most common word for the purpose and people really don't notice if you use it every time.

ELMontague · Sep 10, 2008

Do they notice if you don't? I always notice, member, tool, pole and 'himself,' although I have to admit using all of them. I just hate sounding repetitive.

As for female genitalia, pussy gets old, vagina is a bit sanitary, and I get bored with flower references. I use all those too.

dianeP · Sep 10, 2008

veinglory said:
I think 'cock' is like 'said'. It's the most common word for the purpose and people really don't notice if you use it every time.

I agree. This is what I use the most. I've tried 'prick' a few times, but don't really like it. Sometimes, depending on the context, I've used 'bulge in his pants' 'his hardness' 'feel his erection against her thigh,' type of thing.

I still haven't found a word I like for 'vagina'. I hate 'pussy'. I used it recently, but as an insult.

I tend to use 'breasts' if from the female POV and 'tits' and 'boobs' if from the guy's.

ELMontague · Sep 10, 2008

I'm not crazy about tits as a word in my writing. I've used it, but it's not much of a gentle word.

Breasts is the norm for me.

Clair Dickson · Sep 10, 2008

I don't use different words for eyes or hands-- why should I have to come up with different ways to refer to a dick or pussy? Or boobs for that matter.

Everyone will have their preference for particular word-- I prefer pussy over vagina, boobs over breasts. In fact, I tend to call chicken breasts chicken boobs, but that's, admittedly, to mess with Hubby who's pretty easily shocked, somehow, still by vulgarity. In my writing, I almost always refer to the man's dick and the woman's boobs. Pussy is my term of choice, but sometimes I use crotch, or make refence to wet panties. But that's all personal preference-- even in the "bad erotica words" thread, there were people who preferred the clinical and those who preferred the less crude slang.

My two cents. From someone who doesn't do much with erotica, but includes sex and sex acts in my writing. And I look like such a nice, innocent girl. ;-D

Stacia Kane · Sep 11, 2008

I did a blog series about writing sex scenes, and in one of the posts I wrote a list of words I use. It's here:

http://decemberquinn.blogspot.com/2008/07/be-sex-writing-strumpet-pt-5.html

Samantha's_Song · Sep 11, 2008

Although I write sexy love stories, not really erotica, I don't think there's any words that I'd be afraid to use. I use the sex words in the same kind of way that my characters, themselves, would. In my present work, the male calls her sex organ her pussy, she calls it her minge. They both call his a dick or a cock.

Btw, DecemberQuinn, you have a great blog there, and this, "coming to the sex scene to discover cunts and cocks flying everywhere." made me burst out laughing at the picture it conjured up in my mind.

Maryn · Sep 11, 2008

Flying cunts? I gotta see that!

Maryn, who loves the circus

veinglory · Sep 11, 2008

Using lots of different words for the genitals increases the chance of going 'purple' and/or using a word the reader finds silly.

Alpha Echo · Sep 11, 2008

I don't write erotica, and I only write...sexy scenes that don't go all the way. But as a reader who enjoys a good sex scene, I can tell you that I don't mind cock or dick for a man, I prefer breasts for the women...but a woman's vagina is harder for me to find a word I like. I don't like vagina - as some have said, I think it's too clinical. And I don't like pussy. Not much else. Oh, and I hate the word "panty." Don't know why. Though I've used it before i n my writing because it's better than "underwear" during a sexy scene.

ZeroFlowne · Oct 2, 2008

I think a nice adjective works wonders here - a searing erection, a quivering gate, diamond-hard nipples? I find all of those quite nice. Of course, purple seems to be the color I write in...

TsukiRyoko · Oct 2, 2008

Sex words, just because they're sex words, easily distract the reader, so it's a touchy subject. I don't write erotica a lot, but when I do do a sexy scene, I usually stick to the friendly basics- "member" for penis, "in", "inside", or some tasteful variation of that for penetration (because "boy done got it!" just isn't very writer-ly, despite how often I use the term

), and I usually avoid anything for vagina because "vagina" reminds me of the gyno, "pussy" sounds like porn or an insult, "tulip," "treasre box," etc are cheesy, tacky, and remind me of lonely, fantasizing housewife reading material. I will admit, though, I'm BEGGING for the day when I get to use the term, "like a greased up Slip-N-Slide" in something. BEGGING! I doubt that day will come....

Oh, and for breasts... just breasts. I don't call my breasts "breasts," (I call them Bitty Psycho and Num Num) but I do use the term for others and in writing.

sunandshadow · Oct 2, 2008

Historical sex scenes are always challenging too, because you have to think about what would sound anachronistic. On the other hand the latest sex scene I did one of the characters was a bitter foul-mouthed guy and I loved writing him because I could say f---every sentence and event the dreaded c word, and slit, and have it all sound perfectly in character.

Samantha's_Song · Oct 3, 2008

But why is the c-word so dreaded? It's only a word, just like any other. I've looked up some links on the word and I think this one say it all.

http://www.billcasselman.com/unpublished_works/cunt_wordorigin_use.htm

I have to be honest here, although I've never used the c-word in any of my novels, using it in every day language doesn't bother me. In fact, I have my brother, Antoni, on my mobile, as Mr. C-nt (but the whole word), and I send him postcards, yes, through the royal mail, addressed to Mr C-nt too, again, using the whole word including the u.

sunandshadow said:
Historical sex scenes are always challenging too, because you have to think about what would sound anachronistic. On the other hand the latest sex scene I did one of the characters was a bitter foul-mouthed guy and I loved writing him because I could say f---every sentence and event the dreaded c word, and slit, and have it all sound perfectly in character.

Unique · Oct 3, 2008

But why is the c-word so dreaded? It's only a word, just like any other. I've looked up some links on the word and I think this one say it all.

This is true. But in my world, that word has always been used as a weapon. That word was used insultingly.

I don't use nouns when I write about that stuff.

But I'm modest. Sex is something you do - not a spectator sport. Makes writing erotica a real challenge for me!

Samantha's_Song · Oct 3, 2008

Well, I'm afraid our mother wasn't/isn't very ladylike, so we were brought up with the word and called it quite often. So my siblings and I are used to it and it wouldn't hurt us if someone said it meaningfully anyway

We call each other this as a normal greeting, however, unlike our mum, we don't use it in front of people who we know wouldn't like it.

I write very steamy sex scenes, but wouldn't class them as erotica, just normal things that lovers do. I don't ever use the c-word in any of it though, as I know, if ever I were published, my lady readers wouldn't like it. But who knows, one day I might.

Unique said:
This is true. But in my world, that word has always been used as a weapon. That word was used insultingly.

I don't use nouns when I write about that stuff. But I'm modest. Sex is something you do - not a spectator sport. Makes writing erotica a real challenge for me!

veinglory · Oct 3, 2008

I don't think 'sex words' that are well chosen distract the reader of erotica--in fact there absence might be more of an issue.

donroc · Oct 3, 2008

I use member and tumescence in my historical novel, delta for the female area, and Spanish or Dutch words for the genatalia as needed. I do not have all that many coupling scenes, so it has not been a problem finding a variety of words and descriptions without sounding repetitive or silly -- I like to think.

Stacia Kane · Oct 3, 2008

I happen to really like the female c-word, but it does turn a lot of women off, sadly.

JLCwrites · Oct 3, 2008

The C-word has a very negative connotation to it. It is usually used in a very degrading manner. It isn't the word that is evil... it is the intention for which the word is used.

BrendaS · Oct 5, 2008

I don't like the c word either. But I use pussy and cock. I use dick. Penis feels like someone threw a bucket of cold water over my head. I can't imagine why anyone would use it even in more sensual romance. Too clinical. I like rod, staff, shaft, opening, passage, tunnel, center, core. I agree with what some have said, if you use them right and not overdo it, it can be fine.

I think we write so often and/or so much, whatever we use starts to feel like we're using it too much. I feel like that with the entire English language sometimes. Haha. Maybe I should write in Spanish. If I knew Spanish.

Shadow Paetz · Oct 5, 2008

If the scene sounds too repetitive because you're using the same word over and over, it might not be that you need to find a different word for it. You might need to rethink the phrasing entirely. No need to mention a dick ten times in one paragraph. Once is enough, I'd think. The scene isn't really about what part is doing what to whatever other part; it's about the emotions generated from the action. Interspersing the emotion with the motion is the only way to write good sex.

ELMontague · Oct 6, 2008

True, I agree entirely. However, the last scene revolving around sex I wrote was 2,300 words and involved more than just one couple. All the words made an appearance multiple times just to keep the action straight.

Good sex words

ELMontague

ELMontague

volitare nequeo

ELMontague

ELMontague

A dark core to every cloud

Girl Detective

At least I don't need backing-up

I Tried

volitare nequeo

I should be writing.

Forced into cell phone life

Impractical Fantasy Animal

At least I don't need backing-up

Agent of Doom

At least I don't need backing-up

volitare nequeo

Historicals and Horror rule

Girl Detective

ELMontague