punctuating thought with a ?

Ziljon · Sep 3, 2008

Which one of these is correct?

(Please resist the urge to rearrange the sentence.)

1) Is she talking about me? he wondered.

2) Is she talking about me? He wondered.

3) Is she talking about me, he wondered?

EDIT: So as not to have any confusion about the 'wondered' part, the same question applies below:

1) Did she really say that? he thought.

2) Did she really say that? He thought.

3) Did she really say that, he thought?

DeleyanLee · Sep 3, 2008

Bufty · Sep 3, 2008

Nothing wrong with 2. These out-of-context things are never straightforward.

CaroGirl · Sep 3, 2008

I say 1, unless you specifically mean 2. They have slightly different meanings. In the second, he asks the question and then (implied pause) wonders about it. In the first, the question and the wondering about it are implied to occur at the same time.

Ziljon · Sep 3, 2008

I believe the correct answer is 1, but I'm not sure.

maestrowork · Sep 3, 2008

1.

Otherwise, get rid of the tag "he thought." It's not needed.

ideagirl · Sep 3, 2008

1, but it doesn't really flow... so I would just rephrase: He wondered, Is she talking about me? Or something to that effect.

Ziljon · Sep 3, 2008

maestrowork said:
1.

Otherwise, get rid of the tag "he thought." It's not needed.

ideagirl said:
1, but it doesn't really flow... so I would just rephrase: He wondered, Is she talking about me? Or something to that effect.

CaroGirl · Sep 3, 2008

Ziljon said:
I believe the correct answer is 1, but I'm not sure.

I agree. I think you're going for the meaning implied in #1.

FennelGiraffe · Sep 3, 2008

My general principle: punctuate direct thoughts exactly like dialog. Then remove the quotation marks and add the italics, without changing anything else.

"Is she talking about me?" he wondered.
Is she talking about me? he wondered.

(I'm actually itching to suggest rephrasing it, but since you asked nicely, I won't.)

kct webber · Sep 3, 2008

Phoebe H · Sep 3, 2008

Honestly, I think it is a lot clearer if you dropped the tag completely. The italics convey that all by themselves. I may be wrong, but I think you would rarely if ever have more than one character's direct thoughts italicized, so attributing the thoughts shouldn't be an issue.

This is probably old-fashioned, but with the tag there, I would really expect to see it punctuated

"Did she really say that?" he thought.

with actual quotation marks.

joliehale · Sep 4, 2008

Bufty said:
Nothing wrong with 2. These out-of-context things are never straightforward.

2 is incorrect because of the capitalized "He." The word following a quotation, even if traditional quotation marks aren't used, needs to stay lowercase (unless it's a proper noun) because it's not starting a new sentence; it's continuing the sentence that contains the quotation.

1 is correct. Phoebe's suggestion may also work.

Ziljon · Sep 4, 2008

Phoebe H said:
Honestly, I think it is a lot clearer if you dropped the tag completely. The italics convey that all by themselves. I may be wrong, but I think you would rarely if ever have more than one character's direct thoughts italicized, so attributing the thoughts shouldn't be an issue.

THanks Phoebe. The OP is not a sentence I'm working on. I was just concerned with the rule. Sure, every sentence can be reworked to avoid using punctuation we're not sure about. But there are times when this type of sentance structure will come up. Is it always better not to use a tag?

What about this little scene below? If I did away with the tag would you know whose thought it was at the end? Sure it could be reworked--I could use an action tag before Amy's thought. But what if I didn't want to? What if I liked it just the way it was? You see? Then I'd want to know how to do it right.

---
Amy an Lisa were talking.

"I like your hair, Amy."

"Thanks, Lisa. I like yours too."

They both reached up and touched their hair at the same time.

Holy crap, is she going to make a move on me? thought Amy.

FennelGiraffe · Sep 4, 2008

It depends on the POV. In limited 3rd the thought has to belong to the POV char. This sample doesn't give any clues about POV, but in context it should be obvious.

But yeah, if you're writing omniscient and if the thought is a question or exclamation and if you're so committed to the exact wording that it can't be changed, then you do need to worry about punctuating the thought tag.

Bufty · Sep 6, 2008

Why pick on poor me?

You assume the sentence opening with 'He' is not intended to be a fresh one.

In an appropriate context, the two connecting phrases in Example 2 (the 'wondered' ones) could be perfectly acceptable, so stating 2 is incorrect because of the capitalized 'He' is only applicable if the known intention was to have it as a tag.

3 was definitely wrong because the intent was shown by the lower case 'he'.

I stated 2 'wasn't wrong' - I didn't say it was correct, and the extra three clarification of intent examples using 'thought' instead of 'wondered' were added in edit by the OP after my post.

Incidentally, the original question was about the positioning of the question mark- that always goes after the immediate question - not the tag, if any.

joliehale said:
2 is incorrect because of the capitalized "He." The word following a quotation, even if traditional quotation marks aren't used, needs to stay lowercase (unless it's a proper noun) because it's not starting a new sentence; it's continuing the sentence that contains the quotation.

1 is correct. Phoebe's suggestion may also work.

punctuating thought with a ?

Ziljon

Tortilla di Patate

DeleyanLee

Writing Anarchist

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

CaroGirl

Living the dream

Ziljon

Tortilla di Patate

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

ideagirl

Ziljon

Tortilla di Patate

CaroGirl

Living the dream

FennelGiraffe

It's green they say

kct webber

Squirrel, Sekrit type, 1 ea.

Phoebe H

joliehale

Ziljon

Tortilla di Patate

FennelGiraffe

It's green they say

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?