Who are "you" "we" "us" ....

jennifer75 · Aug 28, 2008

In a chapter that will contain these words, is it necessary to address who they are, before calling them "you" "we" "us"?

See below:

Other than grieving over your loss, you showed no signs of the oncoming aneurism. We had no reason to question your health, or keep you from attending a weekend getaway with your friends. Mom and I were hopeful that the time away would release you from your loneliness and return you to us, refreshed and ready to go on living.

See how "mom and I" are stated after "we".

Does it matter?

IceCreamEmpress · Aug 28, 2008

Out of context, it seems confusing, unless the title gives some context.

If the piece is called A Letter to My Brother or whatever, you're good.

jennifer75 · Aug 28, 2008

Hmmmmmm.....

FennelGiraffe · Aug 28, 2008

I've seen enough of your other excerpts to suspect what's going on. Throughout the entire work does 'you' refer to the grandmother and 'we' to the rest of the family? Is that clear from the beginning? If so, don't worry about spelling it out again for each new chapter.

On the other hand, if it's about other things as well, and this is the first chapter addressing 'you' (or if the chapters addressing 'you' are interrupted by other chapters), then yes, you do need antecedents for 'you' and 'we'.

dpaterso · Aug 28, 2008

Other than grieving over your loss, you showed no signs of the oncoming aneurism. We had no reason to question your health, or keep you from attending a weekend getaway with your friends. Mom and I were hopeful that the time away would release you from your loneliness and return you to us, refreshed and ready to go on living.

Why don't you swap the highlighted words so "Mom and I" are introduced first and are followed by "We", removing the ambiguity?

-Derek

Liosse de Velishaf · Aug 28, 2008

I don't see the problem. Though the excerpt does not identify "you", it seems clear that "we" is refering to "Mom and I". This is, mind, from a reader's perspective, and based only on this small passage.

Dawnstorm · Aug 28, 2008

Actually, to me it's only clear that "we" includes "Mom and I", but it could be the entire family, or some other grouping. Not that it matters much. Context will tell, I trust. I don't have the slightest bit of problem with the above, even if it is an opening paragraph.

It's a technique common enough that it has a technical name in narrative theory: Referentless Pronoun.

Alpha Echo · Aug 29, 2008

I don't see a problem. This is a letter, so hopefully, the Dear Nana at the beginning will clue the reader into who "you" is. The reader also knows that "I" or "me" is the writer of the letter, or you. And as far as the "we", I think it's very clear when all put together in context who you're talking about.

Who are "you" "we" "us" ....

jennifer75

SupahStah!

IceCreamEmpress

Hapless Virago

jennifer75

SupahStah!

FennelGiraffe

It's green they say

dpaterso

Patent pending

Liosse de Velishaf

Dawnstorm

punny user title, here

Alpha Echo

I should be writing.