Ug. We're traveling again. Writing landscapes

Honalo · Aug 20, 2008

The characters in my fantasy novel are on the road again. Hills, dales, rocky terrain, brooks, puddles, berms, mountains, valleys, bridges, tall grass, wetlands, lowlands, runoff trenches ....

I hate writing these pages. I always seem to rely on the same descriptions but this time I've tried to give it a bit of variety.

Any one have any tips for writing travel scenes? And incidentally, my world is similar to earth, landscape-wise.

DeleyanLee · Aug 20, 2008

Transitions are my friends.

Unless something really interesting or dramatic happens, I don't bother with the traveling scenes. Landscape is inherently boring to me, so I won't write it unless my heroes aren't noticing the baddies lurking behind the bushes that I want the readers to see. Or whatever's happening. Boring landscape prose is one of the reasons I haven't bothered slogging through all of LOTR--it was bad enough in the movies, I don't want to see all the words to do the same stuff.

I figure if I'm bored spitless while writing, then the reader hasn't got a prayer.

As always, your mileage may differ.

Toothpaste · Aug 20, 2008

Eh, just write, "After several days of walking they finally came to the town of . . ."

I'm with Deleyan, unless something happens on the way, just get to the good stuff. Just because LOTR did it (and was therefore extremely tough to get though) doesn't mean all fantasy has to.

Of course sometimes you want a bit of colour, a bit of a sense of the passage of time. It can still only take a paragraph.

tehuti88 · Aug 20, 2008

I'm all for first describing a new landscape when characters set foot in it, especially if it helps set the mood or contrasts greatly with what they're used to (and my current WIP has had my characters traveling throughout the entire story!), but I have to agree with the above (to an extent); don't feel that you HAVE to describe all the scenery just because it's there. Describe it only if it has a bearing on the story or the characters and their actions. Otherwise it's just frosting--tasty and pretty, but of no nutritional value.

Think of how often we regular people actually notice our surroundings as we walk through them. Many people just see some hills and trees and then they lose interest and keep walking. We notice our surroundings only if we actively want to (a relaxing walk out in nature to get away from it all), if we're unusually observant (my own interest in trees which all look the same to everyone else), or if our surroundings are very strange/interesting to us (OMG!--that grass is purple!).

And the longer people have to travel, the less likely they are to notice their surroundings anyway. For me, at least, and I otherwise love looking at my surroundings!

FennelGiraffe · Aug 20, 2008

You know the thing about "Show, don't tell"? Sometimes telling is exactly the right choice, and a long passage of nothing particularly interesting is one of those times.

You have several ways to do this. First, show them setting off on the journey (or even just stating that they will be going). After that...

-- Scene break, then show them at their destination. In many cases this is all you need. I promise you, the reader will get it.

-- One line transition,

Five weary days later, clothes grayed with dust, they reached the gates of Ormamuir.

-- One paragraph summary. Use this when you want to give some information about the journey and the countryside they traveled through, but it still isn't interesting enough to dramatize fully.

Five days on the road. Five days of glaring sun and choking dust. Five nights of sleeping with only a blanket to cushion them from the rocky ground. Five days of listening to Farlyn complain about every inconvenience.

But what if you have one important scene that happens during the journey? Not a problem. Use any of the above techniques to bridge from the beginning of the journey up to the beginning of that scene. If applicable, bridge again from the end of the scene to their arrival at their destination.

Sophia · Aug 20, 2008

You could try describing the landscape in terms of how it makes the POV character think and feel. Does it cause them to feel tense, half-seeing enemies and that then affecting their mood, their thought processes and their conversations with their companions, perhaps? Does it remind them of other journeys in other times? If they've travelled in this region before, they might like to compare the journey then and now to give a sense of changing times and history moving on.

Approaching it this way makes writing landscapes a treat for me. I like to treat landscape as something the POV character actively reacts to. If it has no effect on them, that is, the POV character essentially doesn't notice it, I don't mention it.

Gray Rose · Aug 20, 2008

I love describing landscapes, and cityscapes. After all, this is what makes my world come alive. My strategy is to keep it very short and poetic, and tied to something that really matters, i.e. people and events.

Example of a scene: a character is taken to the forest to perform a ritual.
Scene breaks down: a couple of paragraphs on what the character feels as he is being led through the forest (fear, awe, then he is protected by guardian spirits) combined with a description of the forest, and finally, pages on the ritual.

My characters do quite a bit of traveling, but I use transitions for most unless something happens, even though I enjoy writing the landscape.

"Pages" sounds like a bit too much.

Donkey · Aug 20, 2008

Ugh. I feel ya. I agree with the others on this, though. If it's boring to write, it's just gotta be boring to read. When I'm reading fiction, I tend to skim that stuff anyway. There's rarely anything relevant to the plot in landscape description, so my eye just looks ahead for a break in it.

RLB · Aug 20, 2008

I agree with those who've suggested a minimalist approach. I almost always skim landscape descriptions that last for more than a couple of lines. It's also the point at which I'm most apt to set the book down. I really enjoyed FennelGiraffe's suggestions on how to move it along.

Mr Flibble · Aug 20, 2008

maybe describe it only in the way your characters interact with it.

So your MC keeps tripping over loose boulders / tree roots, or the rain drips off the trees and down her neck, or constant wind across the desert fills her mouth with sand, the unaccustomed heat is nailing her to the ground and the sweat is making things chaffe.

Honalo · Aug 20, 2008

IdiotsRUs said:
maybe describe it only in the way your characters interact with it.

Someone else suggested this and it's exactly what I did. I have a character who's insane whom 3 other characters have to take from point a to point b. They're on horseback. What I did was describe how they're interacting with her lunacy and sort of have the landscape also reflect the unhinged, unpredictable nature of someone who's raving. I think I did a pretty good job with it but I tell you, traveling and landscapes - something I do not like to write.

My opinion: You give enough to give the flavor, atmosphere of the place and that's it.

I wanted to know how other people felt and how you all handle these types of passages - and you've been very helpful.

nevada · Aug 20, 2008

I have a solution. Long time ago a benificent alient race came to your planet and lifted them out of the iron age. Once they saw the planet was set on its course towards higher development they left, but they left behind one thing to help the people continue towards a better life. TRANSPORTERS!!!! That's right. Just hop on a pad, type in your destination, and bam you're there. That'll cut at least 10,000 words out of your manuscript that you can use for something else.

badducky · Aug 20, 2008

You've gotten a lot of good advice already.

My suggestion: If you think it's dull and don't like writing it, why on earth do you think people are going to like READING it?

Sarpedon · Aug 20, 2008

Well, one thing I find jarring in low-grade fantasy are the sudden, drastic changes in terrain. This might be because the author skipped the transition scenes, but I don't think so.

If someone is travelling from London to Greenwich, by all means skip the transition. If they are travelling from Croatia to Syria, you should probably indicate that they crossed a body of water, went over some mountains, and arrived in the desert, for example. It'll keep me from getting whiplash when I turn the page and suddenly its a different climate.

Vomaxx · Aug 21, 2008

"Suddenly they came out of the trees and found themselves in a wide circular space. There was sky above them, to their surprise, for down under the Forest-roof they had not been able to see the rising morning and the lifting of the mist. The sun was not, however, high enough yet to shine down into the clearing, though its light was on the tree-tops. The leaves were all thicker and greener about the edges of the glade, enclosing it with an almost solid wall. No tree grew there, only rough grass and many tall plants, stalky and faded hemlocks and wood-parsley, fire-weed seeding into fluffy ashes, and rampant nettles and thistles."

What, you mean this sort of thing seems to slow down a book?

Gray Rose · Aug 21, 2008

Vomaxx said:
" and many tall plants, stalky and faded hemlocks and wood-parsley, fire-weed seeding into fluffy ashes, and rampant nettles and thistles."

What, you mean this sort of thing seems to slow down a book?

He does like hemlock, doesn't he? I've never read any other book with so much hemlock in it.

zornhau · Aug 21, 2008

If you want somebody to see the glacier-debris...

...hide snipers behind the boulders.

If the landscape doesn't relate to conflict, then I don't want to read about it. However, if you entirely skip the landscape, then I may miss part of your Fantasy Vision(tm).

So, the answer is to make the landscape part of a conflict, either as an antagonist highlighting, e.g., the protagonist's lack of experience/determination etc, or as an amplifier for another conflict.

For example, if you're being dogged by sinister skulking types, a change from plains to badlands will be very tactically significant.

If you're locked in a personality clash, perhaps climbing a mountain will make the words terser, and the argument more overt... and then facing Utter Disaster/Alpine Grandaur (delete as applicable), the characters may gain perspective on their differences.

But narrative summary is your friend.

Alpha Echo · Aug 21, 2008

I agree with what most of these people said. I don't mind describing scenery once the character is in it, and only then if it's necessary for the character's actions and reactions and thoughts.

This is totally just me, but in books that have long drawn-out scenery descriptions, I usually skim over it. I try not to, but sometimes I do if they get boring.

geardrops · Aug 21, 2008

Toothpaste said:
Just because LOTR did it (and was therefore extremely tough to get though) doesn't mean all fantasy has to.

Bolding emphasis for the QFT.

The moment I read the OP saying s/he was describing scenery (for "pages"), my eyes glazed over. The mere thought of it bores me to tears.

I know I'm not entirely alone, though there is an audience for this, I'm sure. Still, my advice is skip to the good stuff as quickly you can.

FennelGiraffe · Aug 21, 2008

zornhau said:
If you want somebody to see the glacier-debris...

...hide snipers behind the boulders.

If the landscape doesn't relate to conflict, then I don't want to read about it.

QFT.

Or at least have your protag break his leg trying to climb over the glacier-debris, casting doubt on whether he'll reach his destination in time to prevent some dreaded event.

Sarpedon · Aug 21, 2008

Oh, and another thing. The landscape HAS to relate to the action. I mean, why travel from one town to another, if both towns are exactly the same? Each has to have its own character, and that derives from the landscape. For example, I was reading about medieval Moscow. The entire city was made of wood. nothing but wood. Maybe a church or two was partly stone, but everything else was wood. Even the streets were paved with wood. (when they were paved at all) Thats the character of the place.

Dale Emery · Aug 21, 2008

Mela said:
Any one have any tips for writing travel scenes? And incidentally, my world is similar to earth, landscape-wise.

What aspects of the landscape does the POV character notice or react to (internally or externally)? Focus most of your description on those. That way your descriptions not only provide images and context for the reader, they also serve the important purpose of motivating the character's reactions. And that way, they serve to reveal something about the character.

Dale

eLfwriter · Oct 31, 2008

As others have said, if nothing's jumping from behind bushes or spies aren't going to be listening in on important conversations -- or if important conversations aren't happening -- I wouldn't bother bogging yourself down with too much scenery.

Especially if you don't like writing it!

Have you thought of trying to intersparse your imagery instead of lumping it together in one paragraph? Maybe mention that you're walking through the mountains at the beginning of a conversation, then have the characters pause under a certain tree for a plot-helping conversation at lunch, where they can notice troublesome terrain ahead ...

I find that if the imagery is spread out over a chapter, it makes it easier to digest. Plus, I'm less likely to skim over a page that has conversation in it that I am to skim over a page that's nothing but thick paragraphs of setting.

If you don't like to read it, and you wrote it, you're in trouble. Just keep trucking (or walking, I guess ...)

Inarticulate Babbler · Oct 31, 2008

Tolkien wrote about the milieu because that what type of story it was. Yes, it had action. Yes, it had a quest. Yes, it had drama. But, he loved the milieu--it was the point. The story starts near the "end of the Third Age" and ends with the end of the "Third Age", everything that happens works toward that end.

If your not telling a milieu story, only describe what's relevant. If the reader already knows those details, skip them--unless something happens. (Which means I concur with that part.)

As badducky said:

If you think it's dull and don't like writing it, why on earth do you think people are going to like READING it?

That's a good rule of thumb for anything.

Death Wizard · Oct 31, 2008

I did a couple of hikes in the Appalachians with a local naturalist and picked his brain each time, then picked his brain again about 100 times via emails. I also hiked dozens of trails, with several forest rangers and various other experts. I asked them everything from the names and habits of tiny flowers to the largest trees. It was a lot of work, but it helped me a lot.

Ug. We're traveling again. Writing landscapes

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