Writing from the opposite gender

efreysson · Jun 21, 2007

Writing the opposite gender

Okay, so occasionally I come across a comment made by actresses who complain about male writers not getting female characters "right". Naomie Harris, for instance, said about a script: "A woman would never say that". Only, I don't really know what that means.
I'm male, and I'm writing dark, low-fantasy stories, where most of the characters are either experienced warriors, or hardened by living in savage times. Is this something I should worry about, as a writer? Female readers feeling I somehow don't get the nuances, or whatever to call it, in portraying female characters?
Please don't take this question the wrong way. I'm just not sure what to make of statements like these, and I certainly don't mean to stereotype or generalise anyone.

And just out of curiosity: Do you female writers ever have trouble portraying men?

Shady Lane · Jun 21, 2007

I'm a female writer...and I can't write women.

Let me know if you find out how we're supposed to talk.

efreysson · Jun 21, 2007

Shady Lane said:
I'm a female writer...and I can't write women.

Let me know if you find out how we're supposed to talk.

Hah. Okay, I will.

Sassee · Jun 21, 2007

I'm female and I have problems writing male characters... unless I'm basing them off of someone I know. How do I fix things that "don't fit" a guy character? I ask my guy friends!

AllieB · Jun 21, 2007

As a female author, I've actually worked a lot on trying to make my male characters "real", especially the way they talk and think. I have some good make critique partners, so that helps. I think if you're a good writer, who does the research and revision you need to, you can portray any character in a believable way.

Lady Esther · Jun 21, 2007

Characters have their own specific traits. That's what make them who they are. How can someone say my male character wouldn't act a certain way if it's in his character. I've written male and female characters and don't find it difficult at all.

Jersey Chick · Jun 21, 2007

I tend to write male characters better than female characters because I've never been a girly-girl. I'd say as long as you stay away from silly stereotypes (like jumping on a table and screaming "EEEK" at the sight of a mouse), you'll probably be fine.

citymouse · Jun 21, 2007

When faced with this I simply ask a beta reader to take a look at my scenes. In my latest book I have two teens (boy & girl) experience a first kiss. I left my teen years many moons ago so I asked several teens to read the scene.

Later in the book I had these two teens make love for the first time. Again I had teens (18 to 19) read for me. Later the girl's mother finds out about the event. Again I asked for a mom's opinion.

These simple steps allowed me to write with sensitivity and humor all the while keeping clear of pornography.
C

Shady Lane · Jun 21, 2007

(like jumping on a table and screaming "EEEK" at the sight of a mouse),

For the record, I absolutely would.

Jersey Chick · Jun 21, 2007

Well, all stereotypes are based in reality

OK - how about EEK at the sight of a bug? No... wait... I do that...

Yanno - I knew that would get me in trouble... someone, give me a female stereotype!

Feathers · Jun 21, 2007

I have fun writing the opposite gender, and tend not to have too much of a problem--I think steryotypes are fine as long as there's motive. I can see Lindsey Lohan in Parent Trap jumping on a table at the sight of a mouse--I can't see Haley Barry in X-Men doing it, though.

Lady Esther · Jun 21, 2007

Feathers said:
I can see Lindsey Lohan in Parent Trap jumping on a table at the sight of a mouse--

Totally off topic but the Parent Trap is one of my all-time favorite children's movies, along with the Secret Garden.

Marva · Jun 21, 2007

I write my best stories from the POV of a 10-year-old boy. Since I'm a woman, going on (ahem), then go figure. I also write as a 14-yo girl (fantasy). Then, I've got a set from an adult female POV and a few from an adult male POV. Go figure. I've never had any question on my POV.

For one thing, I'm not 'girly' as somebody mentioned above. I think to write male POV when you're a woman isn't too difficult. Writing a female POV when you're a man? Yanno, I have no idea what a female POV would be. If somebody is thinking screamer, shopper, likes shoes, then sc**w them. That's not ANY of the women I know.

Diviner · Jun 21, 2007

I have a male pov character in most of my books. A slightly macho friend said, "It's obvious a woman is writing this." Boo hoo.

But really, he is the only one who raised this point, and I suspect he wanted the character to be more like him. My work has not been accepted yet, so I don't pretend to be an expert. As a reader, I can accept most things without worrying about gender stereotypes, but we have beta readers for a reason.

I know this, I attribute to my heroes qualities I find admirable, even if they may not be typically male. instance, I have a warrior who is not as smart as his sister, but his pig-headedness stands them in good stead even though it sometimes gets them in deeper trouble.

JoNightshade · Jun 21, 2007

If you're looking for reassurance about your female characters, give your novel to a woman whom you respect as smart and intelligent. Not just someone who seems "female." Ask her to give you her perspective on your characters.

I think the main thing to stay away from is making all of your female characters the SAME. I think we all agree that some women are very "girly," the type who would jump at a mouse, and some are gossipy, and some are... well, whatever the stereotype is. But not ALL women are anything. The problem I have is when all of the women in a given work are either 1) Smashingly beautiful and dumb or 2) Smashingly beautiful and brilliant. Or whatever you like. Women are just like men... we're all people, and we all have our own personalities and quirks. Just give us character and we'll be happy.

zpeteman · Jun 21, 2007

I'm male and my heroine is female in a very character-driven work. It makes me feel creepy sometimes when I'm trying to get in her head, or if I need to do a romantic scene from her perspective. I also worry often that readers are going to think I'm gay because there is so much of me in her. All the women that have read it though claim that the character is spot on. Hell, maybe I am gay. Yikes!<looks around nervously>.

Shady Lane · Jun 21, 2007

Here's the one key I have to writing women--have them act different when they're with men and with their with women. I don't mean this in an offensive way at all--but it's true. Especially if they're in the company of pretty girls. Girls act differently when they're around pretty girls.

Chasing the Horizon · Jun 21, 2007

Shady, you're absolutely right on that. I never even thought about it, but have been writing my characters that way anyway (I guess because it felt natural)

I'm female and the MC in my fantasy is male. No, he's not a typical fantasy hero, and he wasn't meant to be. One of the themes of my series is an attempt to redefine what truly makes someone a hero.

No two people think the same way. Stereotypes can be true, and they can just as easily be the opposite of how a character acts. Just create unique characters and you should be fine.

I'm not sure writing love scenes from the opposite gender's POV ever stops feeling weird, though.

JoNightshade · Jun 21, 2007

I'm female, and I would say my MC's are male about 50% of the time. I feel perfectly comfortable writing from either sex's point of view. Writing from the male perspective, regardless of whether it's romantic scenes or what, comes naturally. I think it's because I grew up being a tomboyish daddy's girl, reading primarily male-POV sci fi, and hangin' out with "the guys." On the other hand, I'm at least genetically female, so I'm comfortable with that as well.

Will Lavender · Jun 21, 2007

I write women extremely well.

Exhibit A:

My next novel is going to be called Pillow Fight. The first rule of pillow fight is you don't talk about pillow fight. Nary a male will grace those pages. There will be shrieking with delight throughout, all sorts of pillow wrestling moves (pillow headlocks, pillow piledrivers, "the Pillow"), feathers perpetually stuck to glistening bodies.

Ladies, tell me that's not realistic.

Shady Lane · Jun 21, 2007

Will Lavender said:
Ladies, tell me that's not realistic.

I would NEVER.

Sassee · Jun 21, 2007

Will Lavender said:
I write women extremely well.

Exhibit A:

My next novel is going to be called Pillow Fight. The first rule of pillow fight is you don't talk about pillow fight. Nary a male will grace those pages. There will be shrieking with delight throughout, all sorts of pillow wrestling moves (pillow headlocks, pillow piledrivers, "the Pillow"), feathers perpetually stuck to glistening bodies.

Ladies, tell me that's not realistic.

That is pure genius.

Gillhoughly · Jun 21, 2007

The plumbing is different.

Men complain about their sore backs.

Women complain about their sore feet.

Both shave, just different areas.

Red Robin · Jun 21, 2007

efreysson said:
Naomie Harris, for instance, said about a script: "A woman would never say that". Only, I don't really know what that means.

She means two things: that she wouldn't say that, and that all women think like her.

I suppose that in a contemporary fiction novel, you must be careful in your descriptions of the opposite sex, but in a fantasy or scifi setting cultures are so different ther is no telling what a gender 'should' act like.

ErylRavenwell · Jun 21, 2007

Gillhoughly said:
The plumbing is different.

Men complain about their sore backs.

Women complain about their sore feet.

Both shave, just different areas.

You've summed it all up well, Gillhoughly. LOL.

Writing from the opposite gender

Closer than ever

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Closer than ever

Momma Wolf

I can say the alphabet backwards!

Up all night to get Loki

fantasy dweller

my name is hannah

Up all night to get Loki

emerging from the writing cave

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has finally arrived

Natural born...

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Everything is what it seems.

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