Style problem.

Ageless Stranger · Aug 1, 2008

I was struck by inspiration the other day and I'm now trying to write a third person omniscient fantasy-mystery novel. Sounds difficult but that's not my problem.

My problem is this. For my hero, I use mostly contractions, delve into his thoughts and make asides on certain subjects. For my psychopath, I stay out of her thoughts entirely and write very cold, straight sentences. Is this okay to do?

ejket · Aug 1, 2008

You are merely underscoring their difference as characters by presenting them differently, which seems okay to me.

kuwisdelu · Aug 1, 2008

Everything's okay as long as it works.

Adjusting style to suit character is always a good technique if you can pull it off. I do this all the time (or try to). Go for it.

MumblingSage · Aug 2, 2008

The problem to my mind is that you think that might be a problem!

However, how is your story 3rd person omniscient if it seems to be limited to certain character's narrative styles, therefore (I assume) viewpoints?

stormie · Aug 2, 2008

I did that once, in portraying a character who was emotionally imbalanced. His sentences were staccato-like. One beta reader thought I should change it. I didn't, and it got published. As long as it works, go for it.

Ageless Stranger · Aug 2, 2008

MumblingSage said:
However, how is your story 3rd person omniscient if it seems to be limited to certain character's narrative styles, therefore (I assume) viewpoints?

Well I thought it was 3rd person omniscient because I skip between my good guy, my evil psycho and several minor characters, and I also reveal their thoughts, etc, except for the psycho's, because I want her presence to be cold and alienating. I want her scenes to be short and purely descriptive to reveal this.

maestrowork · Aug 2, 2008

kuwisdelu said:
Everything's okay as long as it works.

Adjusting style to suit character is always a good technique if you can pull it off. I do this all the time (or try to). Go for it.

I am not sure, since it's "omniscient" and not 3rd limited.

With omniscient, I really do think you should have a consistent narrative style, and not switch from character to character. While you're "inside the character's head" then I think it's okay to report on their thoughts.

Telstar · Aug 3, 2008

Ageless Stranger said:
I was struck by inspiration the other day and I'm now trying to write a third person omniscient fantasy-mystery novel. Sounds difficult but that's not my problem.

My problem is this. For my hero, I use mostly contractions, delve into his thoughts and make asides on certain subjects. For my psychopath, I stay out of her thoughts entirely and write very cold, straight sentences. Is this okay to do?

It seems to me that you are using focused omniscience, like I'm doing in my novel. I find it the best compromise for MY story.
See here:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=110101

Edit: Just read your last post. So you are just using omniscient narrative. Not a problem, but keep your style consistent.

kuwisdelu · Aug 3, 2008

Ageless Stranger said:
Well I thought it was 3rd person omniscient because I skip between my good guy, my evil psycho and several minor characters, and I also reveal their thoughts, etc, except for the psycho's, because I want her presence to be cold and alienating. I want her scenes to be short and purely descriptive to reveal this.

maestrowork said:
I am not sure, since it's "omniscient" and not 3rd limited.

With omniscient, I really do think you should have a consistent narrative style, and not switch from character to character. While you're "inside the character's head" then I think it's okay to report on their thoughts.

It depends...

Do you skip between their thoughts and these styles and in the same scenes, or does each scene/chapter follow a particular character consistently? The latter is more rotating limited than omniscient, to me.

Ageless Stranger · Aug 3, 2008

I stick to one character per scene and I use *** to indicate scene changes. I don't like head hopping myself. I stick to what I see as god of the book or my MC's feelings, thoughts, etc.

maestrowork · Aug 3, 2008

Seems like you have a focused omniscient and not 3rd limited since you have a "god-like" narrator. So in that case, again I'd suggest a single, consistent narrative voice.

Michael Murphy · Aug 6, 2008

POV

Ageless Stranger said:
I was struck by inspiration the other day and I'm now trying to write a third person omniscient fantasy-mystery novel. Sounds difficult but that's not my problem.

My problem is this. For my hero, I use mostly contractions, delve into his thoughts and make asides on certain subjects. For my psychopath, I stay out of her thoughts entirely and write very cold, straight sentences. Is this okay to do?

The purpose of POV is to get inside a character's head. You're missing an opportunity by depriving the reader of understanding your psychopath's motivation, which you won't be able to do unless you get inside the character's heart and mind.

Also, contemporary novelists don't use omniscient. If the POV is omnicient, you're telling the story. I'd recommend you tell the story from your primary character's POV, including the psychopath. In the end, it doesn't matter what happens in a novel, what matters is the effect the events have on a character and to do that well you need a strong main character POV.

Anyway, those are my thoughts, but it's your story, so do what works for you.

Style problem.

Ageless Stranger

Dave Brubeck kicks your ass.

ejket

Noobus Perpetuus

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

MumblingSage

Inarticulate Herb

stormie

storm central

Ageless Stranger

Dave Brubeck kicks your ass.

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

Telstar

I create people

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

Ageless Stranger

Dave Brubeck kicks your ass.

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

Michael Murphy