Former Atheists

Sure, I'll give you my story.

I grew up in a non-believing family. My father was, and still is, staunchly atheist in a rationalistic way, with a strong belief in the explanatory powers of modern science. My mother was less certain about her beliefs, but was not active in any religion. My brother and I were not baptised as infants (causing a certain amount of eyebrow raising among the nice, Church of England, county families I come from), and my parents always told us both that they wanted us to be free to make our own decisions about what religion, if any, we wanted to follow.

I was strongly influenced by my father in many ways, and had a natural aptitude for science that I used to think was incompatible with faith. I was sent to a Catholic primary school which required a certain amount of participation in religious activities but my perception was that those of us who were not Catholics were not at all expected to actually believe any of this nonsense. I didn't think any intelligent people believed in God, and I couldn't see why you'd want to.

The first change happened for me when I went away to a boarding school where most people were at least nominally Anglican and confirmation was a normal part of the school experience. I definitely felt a sense of wanting to belong, though it wasn't until later that I understood what I wanted to belong to or why. While I was a teenager, I mainly enjoyed being contrary. In conversation with Christians, I'd argue from an atheist standpoint, and vice versa. If you'd forced me to say what I really thought, I'm not absolutely sure what I'd have said.

When I was 16 I went on a Christian summer camp for 10 days and for the first time met fun, ordinary people my age who not only called themselves Christians, but thought that should make a difference to how they lived their lives. They read the bible AND tried to obey it. Weird, or what?! But they were lovely and that really did make an impact on me.

So after a few days, someone gave a talk on the Prodigal Son, and I just knew that was me and that God was waiting for me to come home to him. No arguments, no rationalisations, just a new relationship and a new worldview which, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense of everything else.

Hope that helps a bit. Reading it through, I realise it makes it sound like I was never really a convinced atheist, but I'm pretty sure that for a while, at least, I was.

Roger J Carlson said:

If you were once an atheist (or a determined agnostic) and are now a Christian, would you be willing to share a little bit of your conversion experience? I'd be specifically interested in how much or how little your contact with Christians played a part and what that contact consisted of.

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What if I'm a former atheist, converted to a Christian temporarily, and I'm probably more Pagan than anything now? Would you still be interested in my conversion experience and how contact with Christians played a part in it? OR is that too much conversion

Roger J Carlson said:

Your story is what it is. Feel free.

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What about CINOs?

Hello Higgins,

I am somewhat dense and was curious to know what CINOs stands for?

Sorry to jump into your thread Roger J Carlson. I hope you do not mind my asking Higgins this question.

Sincerely,
Gehanna

Gehanna said:

Hello Higgins,

I am somewhat dense and was curious to know what CINOs stands for?

Sorry to jump into your thread Roger J Carlson. I hope you do not mind my asking Higgins this question.

Sincerely,
Gehanna

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Christian in Name Only. I'm hoping to use the term in a neutral way. I think it describes me fairly well. I have a generally positive view of the
aesthetic side of religion and I'm not exactly an atheist. I'm leaving the
appropriateness of CINO responses here up to Roger.

Ah, now I understand Thanks for the reply!

Sincerely,
Gehanna

Roger J Carlson said:

This forum does not define what a Christian is. If you call yourself a Christian, then you are. If CINO is demonstratably different than atheism then have at it. We are not, however, going to discuss whether or not is is Christianity. This is a place to share your stories without the need to justify or defend.

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After the year 2000, my assessment of the value of Christianity changed markedly to be more positive. I think my assessment changed primarily due to one encounter with one Christian. This fellow was some sort of a priestly functionary in a cathedral in England. He acted as a tour guide when I went to the cathedral, but the emphasis of his tour was helping the tourists visualize how the place actually worked as a house of prayer and celebration and instruction at some point in a rather idealized past world.
Its true he was rather wrapped up in a strange world of his own in his effort to visualize that past world, but ironically something very convincing about the fluctuating nature of human needs for an orderly world was there in his hesitant intensity. It was a fine afternoon and I feel it was a kind of conversion experience for me.

Roger J Carlson said:

If you were once an atheist (or a determined agnostic) and are now a Christian, would you be willing to share a little bit of your conversion experience? I'd be specifically interested in how much or how little your contact with Christians played a part and what that contact consisted of.

Click to expand...

Ok I'll try to make a long story short. Basically I wasn't raised with any religion. I moved around a lot when I was a kid and once I finally settled in the bible belt I began to become more aware of churchgoers in general. I used to be very put off when any of them would say they'd pray for me. I'd get frustrated when they'd take pity on me for being atheist and other misc. behavior on their part, but... I always listened to what each one had to say about their belief system. I was always intrigued by the fact that they could believe in something without any doubts in their minds whatsoever. (I am and always have been a person who questions everything.) I had an open mind and an open heart. Some of them even seemed to glow from within when they would talk about their faith. I wanted to have that, and so I kept listening.

My biological father was not able to be around while I was growing up. We began writing letters when I was 12 and continued until he died just a few years ago. He was a very spiritual man, and at times would tell me a lot about Christianity. He had a profound impact on me which I gained mostly through his letters. I also had a friend as a teenager who's father was a deacon in a church. She would talk for days if I'd let her and she'd answer any questions I had. The turning point was when my daughter was about 7 years old. I started wondering if I was depriving her of a spiritual experience that I never had and wondering if I was supposed to be putting her in a church. A friend of mine had me over to her house and she and I began discussing Jesus and God and something inside me just clicked. I don't know how she did it but something she said just put the whole thing in perspective for me and suddenly I understood what they were all getting at. She took me to her Church where I attended with my daughter for a full year. I was baptised in that Church. For a person who never felt comfortable in Church, this was the best one I had ever been to. At first I felt so welcomed and I felt as though I belonged there.

After a while I began to realize I really wasn't like them, after all. I really couldn't sit there and pretend to go along with all of the things they were saying when I knew that by saying these things, they were isolating much of the world and whether they knew it or not, being extremely judgemental, and even envious. My daughter and I discussed a few things that she had been exposed to and I realized that I could not raise my daughter in surroundings where people were not accepting of other people based on whatever criteria they felt was objectionable for the day.

I was raised without religion, without the "fear" of God, and with the understanding that all people are valuable and important. I left the Church so that my daughter could continue to be raised with the values I had instilled in her because continuing to stay there, would surely begin to break a lot of that down.

We live in a very diverse community and we have friends of many different nationalities and religious beliefs. I feel that by being exposed to such diversity is the best lesson she can have.

So much for making a long story short. I know it's very vague but I didn't want to take up too much room. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions or want any clarification.

Oh, here's another thing that was pretty important for me in moving away from being an atheist. I read a book in which one of the characters (a Catholic in discussion with a fairly nominal Anglican) said something like 'It's belief either way, isn't it? Either you believe it's true or you believe it isn't, but no one can prove it.' That really struck a chord with me. Whatever arguments atheists can put together against the notion of God, none of them are wholly conclusive, and so some level of belief is required of us all.