Does this ring true from a 13 year old?

[wurdwise]

The minute they stepped inside the library doors, their feet treaded lighter, respecting

the rules set down by tons of knowledge on paper. There was a mystic, a blend of dust and brilliance, the sound of crinkle old paper alongside the whir of a laser printer, the past and the present were friends here.

[alanna]

me as a thirteen-year old...possibly. more likely to have involved something like "inhaled everything on the shelves." an average thirteen-year-old...one with out a dream of being a writer...I'd say more likely you'd find - was that Bobby with Susie behind the mystery stack?!

[Jamesaritchie]

The minute they stepped inside the library doors, their feet treaded lighter, respecting

the rules set down by tons of knowledge on paper. There was a mystic, a blend of dust and brilliance, the sound of crinkle old paper alongside the whir of a laser printer, the past and the present were friends here.

Well, I wouldn't have thought or talked like this when I was thirteen. Doesn't mean it's wrong, it just means it wouldn't fit me at thirteen.

[PattiTheWicked]

The minute they stepped inside the library doors, their feet treaded lighter, respecting

the rules set down by tons of knowledge on paper. There was a mystic, a blend of dust and brilliance, the sound of crinkle old paper alongside the whir of a laser printer, the past and the present were friends here.

I think it depends on the 13-year-old. Me, it would have worked for, because I always had my nose in a book (at least until I discovered boys a year or two later).

My own almost-13-year-old is more interested in the new Simple Plan cd than anything in the library. Oh, and she's just pointed out to me that if it's a school library, there's a smell. Apparently it's a combination of new carpet, old paper, and feet.

[wurdwise]

Thanks, ya'll. And Patti, I love nothing more than the input of my audience! But it's a very nice public library. Though there is a smell, I just can't seem to put my finger on it, I think I was making dust and brilliance have a smell. Any suggestions?

[JustRite]

I think its a combination of old carpeting and old books (I love them but they are dusty sometimes).

[zeprosnepsid]

I agree though, I think it could ring true for a thirteen year old, certainly not all. If it rings true for your character than go for it.

I like the wording too, it sounds like the character is really escaping (if she has something she needs to escape).

[stormie]

I agree though, I think it could ring true for a thirteen year old, certainly not all. If it rings true for your character than go for it.

I like the wording too, it sounds like the character is really escaping (if she has something she needs to escape).

I have to agree. Depends on your character. There are thirteen year olds who love libraries and books, then there are the ones who go because their teacher said the have to, and when they set foot in the door, they look around to see who's there, what cute boy/girl is sitting where, who's with whom, etc.,etc.

As for my library, it's quite small and old, built in the 1920's, complete with a fireplace, mantle clock that chimes the half-hour and hour, and when the diamond panes windows are opened in the spring and summer, I can smell the boxwood. Great place to sit and read and dream!

[imaginelane]

I would say go with what the library looks like. Merge that with the smells and descriptive stuff. For example, it isn't a huge old massive thing with super high ceilings and thick built in wooden shelves. It sounds more cottagey to me. Yeh, new word, you know, cottagey! :Huh: Or it could even be Victorian if you wanted it to be. What country is it set in? You could really play that up if it is in say, Wales or France or Ireland, or really anywhere in Europe, whereas you could play up the differences coming together of the modern and the well-known if it is set in the US.

But more back to the actual question...13 yr. olds, even girls, are generally active. Running and skipping here and there, talking incessantly, if there are two or more of them. I see you have her with another and not alone. Now, there could be another reason for them to shush and tread lightly and all, other than just that they are entering a library. You could bring out the additional reason, like, I don't know...a relative who always took them there, or a librarian, or that a certain boy is usually there engrossed in a book. You could have them furiously whispering between book aisles and then practically bursting when they reach the outdoors again. Or they could find something oh so interesting and stunning in a book that shuts them up and scares them a bit, and when they leave, it would be the topic of conversation. A mystery clue?


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homelearningnews/ (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/homelearningnews/)

[Vipersniper]

;) To be honest lately I have read some works from thirteen year olds that I would love to see how their talent develops. I mean they did some really fine writing and you could have sworn that it was a much older person that wrote the article.