I was told this by an agent... What do ya think?

PurposefulGirl · Jul 14, 2008

My picture book is too long! 1400 words. He says the concept is amazing, but too many words.

Hes interested, but only if I whittle it down.

Thoughts?

I dunno if I can whittle down my baby.

alleycat · Jul 14, 2008

Yep, it's probably too long for a traditional picture book; 1000 words is probably the upper limit, and even that is getting almost too long.

Do you have a good beta reader? Someone with "fresh eyes" can often see something that can be cut that the writer can't.

jennontheisland · Jul 14, 2008

If it's a baby, wrap it in cotton wool and put it to bed.

If it's a story you want to sell, consider the advice and try a rewrite.

joyofcooking · Jul 14, 2008

My picture book is only 380 words. I'd have to more than double that to get to 1,000 words...and triple to get to 1,400...is it possible to split your picture book up into separate books? I mean, are there 3 plot lines you've got going?

joyofcooking · Jul 14, 2008

Re: whittling...just give it a shot and see what happens...does the agent have anything specific they want cut out or kept in? Is it just length, or are there specific plot elements that are getting lost in the amount of material you currently have? I might ask before I start whittling: If there was anything specific they saw as "central" to your story, that they wanted the other pieces to revolve around.

Hillary · Jul 14, 2008

jennontheisland said:
If it's a baby, wrap it in cotton wool and put it to bed.

If it's a story you want to sell, consider the advice and try a rewrite.

I couldn't have said it better. But it bears repeating.

JoNightshade · Jul 14, 2008

Do it! Cut, cut, cut!

PurposefulGirl · Jul 14, 2008

Hillary said:
I couldn't have said it better. But it bears repeating.

Ouch. I hear you both. You're right....But ouch.

PurposefulGirl · Jul 14, 2008

joyofcooking said:
My picture book is only 380 words. I'd have to more than double that to get to 1,000 words...and triple to get to 1,400...is it possible to split your picture book up into separate books? I mean, are there 3 plot lines you've got going?

No. One story. But a complete story, which isn't often done with picture books.

I think I am going to whittle away.

Appalachian Writer · Jul 14, 2008

PurposefulGirl said:
Ouch. I hear you both. You're right....But ouch.

I have a dear friend and a wonderful beta who keeps reminding me that if all those beautiful passages I write don't move the storyline along, I must kill them. "Kill your darlings." Weep for them, then let them go. Someday they may come back again, resurrected in another volume.

Chris Huff · Jul 14, 2008

Picture books are most often 32 pages long. Yours would be about 43 words per page. Much longer than any picture book I've seen. Most have anywhere from 1-30 words per page, and that 30 is the upper side of pushing it. Just to bring yours down to the "wordy" side of picture books would be something like cutting 500 words or more.

Your quickest way to cutting is the description. The words the agent / editors want to see are the actual story, not the description of what's happening. Scary crazy, I know, but there it is. The art director and artist will determine the art on the page. You can hint at what you want through subtle writing, but don't dictate every angle and image.

If the agent told you it was amazing, do whatever you have to so they love it and therefore can't help but sell the book for you.

Torgo · Jul 15, 2008

A standard picture book has 32 pages, yes, but at the very least you lose p1 and p32 as endpapers and p2 and p3 to title page and copyright details. So you only have 28pp to play with; and 50 words per page does seem excessive.

myscribe · Jul 15, 2008

PurposefulGirl said:
No. One story. But a complete story, which isn't often done with picture books.

I think I am going to whittle away.

Not sure I understand about the complete story part of it. All picture books must tell a story with a beginning, middle and end.

But definitely take the advice and try to revise - 1400 is way too long for a PB (nowadays). Definitely under 1000, and many want it under 800. Did the agent give you an idea of what count he'd like to see it at?

Look for anything you can cut that would be shown in the illustrations. For PBs the art is an integral part of telling the story. You don't need to elaborate, describe or explain things that will be in the illustrations.

PurposefulGirl · Jul 15, 2008

myscribe said:
Not sure I understand about the complete story part of it. All picture books must tell a story with a beginning, middle and end.

But definitely take the advice and try to revise - 1400 is way too long for a PB (nowadays). Definitely under 1000, and many want it under 800. Did the agent give you an idea of what count he'd like to see it at?

Look for anything you can cut that would be shown in the illustrations. For PBs the art is an integral part of telling the story. You don't need to elaborate, describe or explain things that will be in the illustrations.

I started editing and whittled out 100 words...and.....it actually makes the story stronger. I feel great! 300 more to go........yikes.

Thanks everyone for your motivation. I appreciate it.

Toothpaste · Jul 15, 2008

That's totally the thing! I was asked by my agent to get rid of 10 000 words of my MS. When I did I was surprised how much stronger my work was for it. No scenes had been cut, but just by tightening the MS it now read like . . . a real book. If that makes sense.

PurposefulGirl · Jul 15, 2008

Toothpaste said:
That's totally the thing! I was asked by my agent to get rid of 10 000 words of my MS. When I did I was surprised how much stronger my work was for it. No scenes had been cut, but just by tightening the MS it now read like . . . a real book. If that makes sense.

Thats exactly it! It feels and reads better now!

I've offed 250 words so far and counting.

*chop chop chop*

slhastings · Jul 15, 2008

You can do it! I'm in the process of doing cuts myself. Man, do they hurt at first. But when you're finished, it hurts so good!

Good luck!

wyntermoon · Jul 15, 2008

I'm an odd one, I love editing. I look at it like pruning. You have a lovely full tree but by taking away some of its leaves, you have a stronger trunk ergo a healthier story. It's a challenge but I bet you'll walk away from this a better writer.

PurposefulGirl · Jul 17, 2008

Welp, I did it! I am down to 900 words! I love my story now that Ive "Hemingwayed" it.

Lesson of the week: Editing is fun!

Bufty · Jul 17, 2008

Congratulations and good luck.

Easy, isn't it, when one realises one has to get to the point, say what one means and stop over-explaining.

myscribe · Jul 17, 2008

Congrats on revising it to 900 words! Now you've given your manuscript an even better chance in the marketplace.

escritora · Jul 17, 2008

Excellent! Please let us know the agent's response.

Good luck!

MsJudy · Jul 17, 2008

Yay for you!

And let me chime in as a first grade teacher. The difference in reading aloud 900 words instead of 1400 is just incredible. When I have a really tight story, I can indulge in all the voices, I can pause to explain a big word, I can celebrate the language. If a book is too long and wordy, it's a struggle to bring it to life and the kids just don't stay engaged. I've seen over and over again that the difference between an okay book and one that kids fall in love with is that the really good ones are poems. Not rhyming, necessarily, but written with that economy of language and imagery. They teach kids to fall in love with words.

Good luck with your book!

slhastings · Jul 17, 2008

Please let us know what happens when you resubmit!!!

Good job. (booty shake)

samantha

joyofcooking · Jul 17, 2008

Okay...now I have a question...is 400 words too SHORT for a picture book??? Actually, 380...?? It's 20 rhymed triplets ABA if that makes a difference...

I was told this by an agent... What do ya think?

PurposefulGirl

alleycat

Still around

jennontheisland

the world is at my command

joyofcooking

joyofcooking

Hillary

Neural Trailblazer

JoNightshade

has finally arrived

PurposefulGirl

PurposefulGirl

Appalachian Writer

Somewhere in the hills....

Chris Huff

Torgo

Formerly Phantom of Krankor.

myscribe

Who's the ninja now?!?

PurposefulGirl

Toothpaste

THE RECKLESS RESCUE is out now!

PurposefulGirl

slhastings

Purple pills and Vodka!

wyntermoon

PurposefulGirl

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

myscribe

Who's the ninja now?!?

escritora

.

MsJudy

slhastings

Purple pills and Vodka!

joyofcooking