Two MCs and alternating POV

Barb D · Jul 11, 2008

My story has two MCs, teenage girls with totally different personalities who have time traveled to 16th century Denmark. I'm alternating chapters. Each chapter is fairly short, about 700-1000 words. Occasionally I throw another POV character in there (one girl's mother* and her brother also get to briefly time travel while they're looking for the girls.)

At this point I just have the chapters labeled with the name of the character doing the narrating. "Chapter 1 - Polly" "Chapter 2 - Joy" "Chapter 3 - Polly" and so on. Is there a better way to do this?

And when I do throw in another character (the mom doesn't come in until chapter 10, and the brother won't be there until at least chapter 18) is there a good way to make it clear that this is yet another POV character?

*One of the girls is based on my DD15, and I, of course, am her mom. I've always told my kids that if they find a magic coin or a wardrobe into Narnia to come get me because I want to come too! I hate it that the kids get all the adventures!

Danger Jane · Jul 11, 2008

You may not need the chapter titles if it's clear from the text who's narrating, and from what you say it sounds like it is pretty clear.

When you start adding more perspectives, this can get dicey. I say establish early on that in addition to the two MCs, there will be other chapters from different POVs, so readers are on the lookout; they know when there is a new chapter that this might be a new narrator. From there, you have to include textual clues to the narrator's identity very early in the chapter. As a reader--and writer of multiple POV first person--I get very peeved when it takes me two or three paragraphs to find out there's a new narrator, because then I have to re-read and this time, I'm reading consciously, to make sure I know who it is.

Generally, it's best to avoid naming the chapters after the narrator, but in books with many POV characters, this can be the best possible method. See East by Edith Pattou. There are more than seven narrators, so the chapters really have to be named for who narrates them, or you're out of the story with each chapter. The story I'm writing now has chapters named for the narrators because although there are only two and their chapters alternate, a specific device I'm using late in the book would be rendered totally useless and confusing otherwise, and I'm under the impression that the device is successful.

My advice is to set up a pattern so your readers know what's coming, and with within that, named chapters or no.

SPMiller · Jul 11, 2008

If you've developed a strong, distinctive voice for each character, then there's no need to signal who's narrating. That means they "speak" in different patterns and use different diction. But since they're not the same people they'll also notice different details, think in different ways, want different things, and so forth.

This advice can apply to both first person and subjective third person.

Barb D · Jul 11, 2008

Well, they're both girls of the same age from the same part of the world in the same century, so although one swears and the other doesn't, their speech patterns aren't that different. (Their personalities are, but I don't want to count on that coming across clearly, at least at first.) I think I'd better stick with labeling the chapters somehow.

JeanneTGC · Jul 11, 2008

Honestly, if you aren't making each MC clearly different when writing, labeling chapters isn't going to help you. When an author switches whose POV the reader is in, it needs to be clear and transparent, but also make sense for why it's being done in the first place. Work on coming up with something that sets them apart. They may talk similarly and come from the same area, but surely they don't think alike, too? If so, maybe you don't really have 2 MCs, you just have one split in half.

Nakhlasmoke · Jul 11, 2008

Hmm I actually do see where Barb is coming from though, and how it may take a while for the different personalities to become obvious. I suggest label the chapters, and eventually as the reader gets a feel for the two girls' distinct traits, they'll not even bother relying on the chapter headers as a guide.

my 2 cents.

Melenka · Jul 11, 2008

I am comitting the cardinal sin of switching POV within chapters (though not all of them), but I think it's necessary for my story. It's easier when your characters are as different as mine. My male MC has a formal way of speaking, partially because English is his second language and he likes the way it sounds in its proper form.

Just because your girls are contemporaries does not mean they have to sound the same. My manner of speech was much different from most of the people with whom I went to high school, mostly because my father refused to permit the abuse of the English language in his presence. He was kind about it, but adamant that we speak correctly. Perhaps you might want to give the girls more individual speech patterns to help out your readers.

Nakhlasmoke · Jul 11, 2008

Melenka said:
.... Perhaps you might want to give the girls more individual speech patterns to help out your readers.

True, but at the same time...have you listened to a group of teenage girls talking? Or boys for that matter. There's a certain age, around 13 to 16, where teenagers in general become the most frightening clones. It's normally at the point where they're screaming and ranting about how individual they are, oddly enough.

JoNightshade · Jul 11, 2008

I'm wondering why this book needs to have the two different narrators. If they're both in the same place at the same time, it seems like it would be more effective just to choose one and go with that. I think there should be some compelling reason for having multiple narrators. Do they each have their own goals? Do they get split up at some point, and you need to follow both of them for the story to make sense?

Barb D · Jul 11, 2008

JoNightshade said:
I'm wondering why this book needs to have the two different narrators. If they're both in the same place at the same time, it seems like it would be more effective just to choose one and go with that. I think there should be some compelling reason for having multiple narrators. Do they each have their own goals? Do they get split up at some point, and you need to follow both of them for the story to make sense?

One is a conservative Christian, and one is an atheist, so they do have totally different ways of looking at things and reacting to things. And they do split up at various points, although not for long.

Danger Jane · Jul 12, 2008

Like Jeanne said, labeled chapters won't make a reader less confused when your characters' voices are too similar.

So they're different because their religious/spiritual views are very different? Just in my humble experience....but although certain aspects of my (religious) and certain of my friends' (nonreligious) worldviews are different, I think we think very similarly. The differences are fairly superficial, if you were recording our thoughts into a narrative.

Beyond simply religious background--what defines these girls? What differences in their upbringing, in their temperaments cause subtle differences in their narrative? They're people, not spreadsheets. It's really hard to get, but it can be done. It has been done. I hardcore brainstorm about these subtleties...it takes a lot of thought, but the result is really nice.

Ask yourself why you are using two POVs. If each offers a twist on perspective that would leave the story diminished if it was removed, you need them both. If the story's just as strong without one...lose it. You're fattening things up.

kuwisdelu · Jul 12, 2008

Just so I don't have to type up what I've been saying on this exact topic yet again...here's what I said last time this came up:

kuwisdelu said:
Danger Jane said:

The tough part is distinguishing the two POVs. Your characters have to think differently. It's hard, trust me. But if you really think your story would be stronger with the other character's side, by all means add it. I do like to give my MCs equal playing time, though--alternating chapters throughout. They're equally important and equally interesting, so why upset the balance?

Click to expand...

Good point here, too. Once you introduce another POV, it's important to make sure the reader doesn't get confused about whose head they're in, whose narrating, where they are, etc. It's important to try to give the character's their own, unique voices. With good writing, you should be able to tell who's speaking in dialogue by the character's speech alone, without tags. And likewise, you should be able to tell who's narrating at any given point simply by how the character narrates.

Of course, sometimes it can still be confusing first beginning a scene, since the reader may not have enough information yet to tell by the voice which POV they're in. Some techniques to remedy this is to label the beginning of such chapters with the POV character (but this is no excuse to be lazy about giving them distinct voices). Personally, I don't like that, though, since it feels a bit contrived. In such situations, I prefer just making sure to begin the scene with a thought that only that POV character could think or notice, or using some other detail of setting, action, etc., that only that POV character would notice or do.

E.g., if one character smokes and another doesn't, starting a scene with the POV character lighting a cigarette makes it clear whose head we're in. If one character is young and the other old, a thought about stupid kids getting off the lawn or creaking bones does the work. If one character's in Arizona and the other in D.C., beginning with the character noticing a mountain in the distance and the dry heat can show us where we are. Et cetera.

In short, no matter what, try to do your best to give the character's distinguishable voices. Try to use some telling detail at the beginning of chapters to make it clear whose POV we're hearing as quickly as possible.

If, after all that, you still have an exceptional reason to use characters labels for each chapter, that's usually perfectly acceptable, as long as you don't get lazy about what I described above. (Here's the thread I posted that in, where we also discuss such an exception.)

Two MCs and alternating POV

Barb D

Danger Jane

SPMiller

Prodigiously Hanged

Barb D

JeanneTGC

I am Catwoman...and Gini Koch

Nakhlasmoke

yes

Melenka

Better is the enemy of done

Nakhlasmoke

yes

JoNightshade

has finally arrived

Barb D

Danger Jane

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

Two MCs and alternating POV

Prodigiously Hanged

I *am* Catwoman...and Gini Koch

yes

Better is the enemy of done

yes

has finally arrived

Revolutionize the World

I am Catwoman...and Gini Koch