True love vs. Probable love/infatuation

Jodotha · Jul 3, 2008

This has probably been discussed before under different headings, but I wasn’t able to find anything specifically in a search, so here we go:

I’m writing a story in which a woman falls for one guy who is everything someone would want, but then she accidentally falls for the guy’s brother, but doesn’t realize it until some “event” causes her to instinctively choose the brother. There’s a lot more to that, which should hopefully bring down the “cliché level” a LOT, lol. Still, does anybody have any tips for writing the first relationship so that it doesn’t feel quite right – not quite like real love. I’m also looking for tips on showing the tension in the second relationship prior to the revealing event. What's the distinction? (Adding to things is the bad blood between the brothers to begin with – they haven’t spoken for years. Fun times!)

Vague enough, yeah? I'll elaborate as needed - not sure how much I should include here.

BTW, if there's a thread that deals with this, do please link me! Thankee kindly.

Deb Kinnard · Jul 3, 2008

I'd consider giving Guy With All That some sort of "kick the dog" moment -- an inadvertent exposure that He and She are really not right for each other. Maybe all he has to recommend him is Tall/Dark/Handsome and she fell chemically for the hunk on the outside. Maybe what she learns about his inside is not to her liking, but she is too captivated early on by the chemistry to care...

I wrote a novella about an All That guy, but he got the girl in the end, so no advice on that score.

Blondchen · Jul 3, 2008

Sounds like While You Were Sleeping which, while a movie, deals with this concept really well.

Jodotha · Jul 3, 2008

Deb - that works well, especially with the first guy's eventual role as the opposition. I really like that..."kick the dog" moment. Heh. Perfecto.

Blondchen - It totally does sound like that! LOL I hadn't thought of that because I've been looking at this guy for so long as the opposition. The 'perfect' guy is a really good actor - not a womanizer, but definitely a playboy type. Could charm the beak off a duck. Not a real danger to the MC until he realizes she's no longer under his "thrall" - yes?
Ack, subtlety in relationships.

Karen Duvall · Jul 3, 2008

Blondchen said:
Sounds like While You Were Sleeping which, while a movie, deals with this concept really well.

That's exactly what I was thinking! Loved that movie.

Last night I was watching an old episode of Angel on hulu.com, and it was the one where Cordelia has a date with this uber handsome guy who's got lots of money, a great car, and a job as a stockbroker. She thinks she's died and gone to heaven until he bores her to tears at the restaurant. She feigns illness to get the date over with, he drives her back to the office, and just as he walks her to the door a vampire lunges out of the bushes and attacks her. Mr. Wonderful couldn't get back in his car fast enough. He speeds his cowardly ass off to leave Cordelia to get eaten by the vamp. Then ordinary Doyle, whose had a crush on her since day one, runs to the rescue and stakes vamp dude to dust. Cordelia gains a whole new perspective on dowdy Doyle.

Does that spark any ideas for you?

yttar · Jul 3, 2008

The movie The Family Stone was also like that, but I think While You Were Sleeping was a much better movie.

Yttar

Jodotha · Jul 3, 2008

Karen Duvall said:
Last night I was watching an old episode of Angel on hulu.com, and it was the one where Cordelia has a date with this uber handsome guy who's got lots of money, a great car, and a job as a stockbroker.
Does that spark any ideas for you?

LOL, I know exactly what episode you're referencing! Not sure if it's sparked anything, except perhaps a renewed yen for a Whedon marathon...but perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....

Karen Duvall · Jul 3, 2008

Jodotha said:
LOL, I know exactly what episode you're referencing! Not sure if it's sparked anything, except perhaps a renewed yen for a Whedon marathon...but perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....

Give in to temptation, Jodotha.

I did. The entire first season of Angel is on there, and so is Firefly! And a couple of seasons of Buffy. You know you want to. :e2teeth:

Beware_of_Italics · Jul 3, 2008

Blondchen said:
Sounds like While You Were Sleeping which, while a movie, deals with this concept really well.

I thought this, too! :tongue

Jodotha · Jul 4, 2008

*cough* It's really not like Sleepless in Seattle. Really, really. Just have to go with me on this, LOL. So aside from that....

I will totally be watching Whedon this weekend, lol. Besides, Firefly has yet to experience my brand new HDTV

mirrorkisses · Jul 4, 2008

yttar said:
The movie The Family Stone was also like that, but I think While You Were Sleeping was a much better movie.

Yttar

I second... third(?) this! If you haven't seen While You Were Sleeping, check it out. Family Stone bored me... So I say WYWS is an example of a great way to do it, FS is an example of an extremely boring way to do it (although Luke Wilson rocks my socks!).

vixey · Jul 4, 2008

Hope to read your novel some day. Sounds interesting. I'd recommend reading Anita Shreve's Bodysurfing. She's a master at tension and does a good job of showing why the MC wants one brother but ends up with another.

aliajohnson · Jul 4, 2008

I love this concept, always have, but it's tricky.

If that first relationship goes on for a substantial length of time, the reader is often left with only two options. 1) assume the first guy is the Hero and start cheering for him--and eventually end up disappointed and annoyed, or 2) assume he's not the hero and wonder why this other guy is taking up so much space on the page. :tongue

While You Were Sleeping managed to avoid these problems. It becomes clear very quickly who the hero is, and because guy number one spends most of the move in a coma, he isn't taking up much of the heroine's time--or the viewer's.

As for the OP--You could try little things to start

--he forgets or ignores things that are important to her
--he dismisses her opinions (verbally pats her on the head)
--he breaks dates, or shows up late, or takes her to a seafood joint when she's told him she's allergic to shellfish :tongue

Basically, anything that shows he's thoughtless/careless about her feelings.

Hope this helps.

rugcat · Jul 4, 2008

aliajohnson said:
As for the OP--You could try little things to start

--he forgets or ignores things that are important to her
--he dismisses her opinions (verbally pats her on the head)
--he breaks dates, or shows up late, or takes her to a seafood joint when she's told him she's allergic to shellfish

Basically, anything that shows he's thoughtless/careless about her feelings.

He doesn't get her jokes, or is simply puzzled by things she finds very funny.

aliajohnson · Jul 4, 2008

rugcat said:
He doesn't get her jokes, or is simply puzzled by things she finds very funny.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I can't imagine trying to build a relationship with someone (let alone fall in love with him) if we couldn't laugh together.

mirrorkisses · Jul 5, 2008

aliajohnson said:
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I can't imagine trying to build a relationship with someone (let alone fall in love with him) if we couldn't laugh together.

This one definitely fits the guy I'm currently uh... well, not seeing, but he's a "special friend."

He doesn't understand any of my jokes, and the jokes I do make, he thinks I'm insulting him (when I do friendly teasing). He's quite an irritable person, but everyone thinks he's great because he's a folk singer and sounds like bob dylan.

Deb Kinnard · Jul 5, 2008

Red Flags

Mirror, if he doesn't like chocolate, that'll clinch the "no-go" thing, won't it?

I once dated a guy who didn't like chocolate. Wasn't allergic or anything, just didn't care for it. That shoulda told me oodles about him and the non-starting nature of the relationship, but I was too stuck on the tall/dark/hunky thing to heed the warning signs.

Chocolate forever! My husband likes it :Hug2:

mirrorkisses · Jul 5, 2008

Deb Kinnard said:
Mirror, if he doesn't like chocolate, that'll clinch the "no-go" thing, won't it?

I once dated a guy who didn't like chocolate. Wasn't allergic or anything, just didn't care for it. That shoulda told me oodles about him and the non-starting nature of the relationship, but I was too stuck on the tall/dark/hunky thing to heed the warning signs.

Chocolate forever! My husband likes it

Don't gasp but... I am not a fan of chocolate.

Actually, I love european chocolate, but american chocolate is just too sweet for me.

aliajohnson · Jul 5, 2008

mirrorkisses said:
Don't gasp but... I am not a fan of chocolate.

Actually, I love european chocolate, but american chocolate is just too sweet for me.

*GASP*

Actually, my older brother is that way too. He prefers vanilla to chocolate. There was a recent study done. . .somewhere by. . .someone :tongue

(I'd look up a link, but I'm on dial-up and it takes forever) showing evidence that whether or not an individual craves chocolate may have to do with the presence of a particular kind of bacteria in the gut. Who'd have thought?

Kasey Mackenzie · Jul 5, 2008

I have to agree. I much prefer vanilla to chocolate. I also prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate.

Deb Kinnard · Jul 5, 2008

Dark chocolate forever! Milk chocolate is no longer my thing, though I loved it when I was a kid. So far I have not found any that's "too dark" for me. My all-time favorites are Terry's plain and those dark chocolate Kit Kat bars you can't get here.

Cadbury's plain is also just about perfect.

Um...must leave now. Cravings have set in.

mirrorkisses · Jul 5, 2008

Only in the romance writers' forum could a thread turn into a discussion about chocolate.

para · Jul 6, 2008

yttar said:
The movie The Family Stone was also like that, but I think While You Were Sleeping was a much better movie.

Yttar

I agree with this. The Family Stone was boring and the entire family (except for the eventual hero) treated the heroine like crap but loved her sister. The fact that they were all happy families at the end really irritated me for some reason.

True love vs. Probable love/infatuation

Jodotha

Oh hey, I've been here before...

Deb Kinnard

Blondchen

Honey Badger don't give a shit.

Jodotha

Oh hey, I've been here before...

Karen Duvall

Chalice the Hatchet Knight

yttar

practical experience, FTW

Jodotha

Oh hey, I've been here before...

Karen Duvall

Chalice the Hatchet Knight

Beware_of_Italics

Different from the rest

Jodotha

Oh hey, I've been here before...

mirrorkisses

vixey

C'est la vie!

aliajohnson

rugcat

Lost in the Fog

aliajohnson

mirrorkisses

Deb Kinnard

mirrorkisses

aliajohnson

Kasey Mackenzie

One Hit Wonder?

Deb Kinnard

mirrorkisses

para