Scary Script

WarrenP · Jul 1, 2008

Hey folks,

I have a script I've been working on for a bit now, in the horror genre. My problem is that when I read it, other than a few spots here and there (I do have one really good section that literally kept me up at night after writing), overall it doesn't seem scary to me.

I watch lots of "horror" and I can't recall the last time I actually felt like it was scary. I'm looking for scripts you have read that might have given you a shudder or two while reading.

Second point, any good horror recommendations? I'm running out, and am now looking at Asian and European flicks as the standard fare has so let me down.

zeprosnepsid · Jul 1, 2008

Did you ever think it was scary? Or you just don't think it's scary now? Have you had someone else read it?

I ask because when I write a comedy script there eventually becomes a point where I'm convinced it's not funny. Usually I give it to someone (or several someones) who isn't as close to it as I am, and if they think it's funny then I just roll with it. There comes a time for most people when it gets pretty difficult to judge your work objectively.

As for J-Horror, the big ones come to mind:
Hideo Nakata: Ringu, obviously. Dark Water.
Takashi Miike: Audition, Ichi The Killer, One Missed Call, etc...
Kiyoshi Kurosawa: Pulse, Cure, etc...
Also, Uzumaki. Battle Royale. I don't like Ju-On/The Grudge but whatever, it exists.
Korea has similar films: Memories of a Murder, Tale of Two Sisters, Memento Mori, etc...

icerose · Jul 1, 2008

The Ring, Silence of the Lambs, Darkness Falls.

Those are three off the top of my head that sent pretty good chills down my horror-resistant spine.

The game F.E.A.R. is one I wish was a movie, it's freakin awesome. I also love 28 Days Later. The first Resident Evil is the scariest one out of the three.

nmstevens · Jul 1, 2008

WarrenP said:
Hey folks,

I have a script I've been working on for a bit now, in the horror genre. My problem is that when I read it, other than a few spots here and there (I do have one really good section that literally kept me up at night after writing), overall it doesn't seem scary to me.

I watch lots of "horror" and I can't recall the last time I actually felt like it was scary. I'm looking for scripts you have read that might have given you a shudder or two while reading.

Second point, any good horror recommendations? I'm running out, and am now looking at Asian and European flicks as the standard fare has so let me down.

http://www.horrorlair.com/scripts/DEADER.pdf

Above is a link to the original screenplay of mine, "Deader" which was ultimately turned into "Hellraiser: Deader" -- the latter, I can't claim to be all that scary -- at least not to me, but the original screenplay, I've been told, is still generally considered to be quite scary.

Whether you'll find it so, of course, is a matter of conjecture.

NMS

jessegrillofilm · Jul 1, 2008

Sorry... off topic..

You wrote deader?! That's awesome! I worked with Clive Barker on Midnight Meat Train as a driver and production assistant. Super cool guy. I am writing a ton of low budget horror scripts because I figure that's a good way to get my foot in the door.

Lillyth · Jul 1, 2008

The Ring scared the pants off of me. I was actually afraid to go to sleep.

After that, I can't honestly say I have braved any horror flicks. (I used to be completely unaffected by them, but after The Ring? Oh man... SHUDDER. No more horror for me).

Jon-Luke · Jul 2, 2008

If you want to have your script read scary, then maybe you should read some scary writing - Edgar Allen Poe is a good start some of his short story's like "The Black Hole of Calcutta" work quite well. Then there are many short stories by Alfred Hitchcock that are worth reading too - He's not the master of suspense for nothing and many people aren't aware that he didn't only make films...

icerose · Jul 2, 2008

I used to make the mistake in thinking my writing had to be mechanical to be considered script writing. The straight forward, no-nonsense writing. I was taught otherwise by a universal studios reader as well as some people here. She told me I had the structure down pat, now I just had to do the fun stuff, which was spice up my writing. All this time I had been restraining it.

What you really want is to have it be a hybrid between novel and script. A marriage of sorts between the prose and the directions, minus the internals. With killer descriptions in fewer words than you would use in a novel. It takes a lot of practice and I'm still trying to get the hang of it, but those who seem to sell a lot of scripts can really make that text come to life.

Here I was trying so hard to keep my writing clean and straight forward, and they actually wanted the deeper descriptions. Go figure.

WarrenP · Jul 2, 2008

zeprosnepsid said:
Did you ever think it was scary? Or you just don't think it's scary now? Have you had someone else read it?

I ask because when I write a comedy script there eventually becomes a point where I'm convinced it's not funny. Usually I give it to someone (or several someones) who isn't as close to it as I am, and if they think it's funny then I just roll with it. There comes a time for most people when it gets pretty difficult to judge your work objectively.

As for J-Horror, the big ones come to mind:
Hideo Nakata: Ringu, obviously. Dark Water.
Takashi Miike: Audition, Ichi The Killer, One Missed Call, etc...
Kiyoshi Kurosawa: Pulse, Cure, etc...
Also, Uzumaki. Battle Royale. I don't like Ju-On/The Grudge but whatever, it exists.
Korea has similar films: Memories of a Murder, Tale of Two Sisters, Memento Mori, etc...

I think the premise is scary, and I had a few others read parts of it, and they felt it was scary, so perhaps it is that I'm too close to it right now. On a higher level though, even watching the so-called scary movies doesn't work for me anymore.

I guess that I am starting to get jaded about "scary" in the first place.

Thank you for the suggestions, although I've watched almost all of the above, and they simply don't do it for me. Take Audition, a movie with far and wide praise. Other than being a "sweet" girl who does it, and the shock of the torture scene, what is scary about that? Seeing torture/gore has never worked for me, so maybe that is part of the problem. I don't know, like I said I think I'm just getting numbed to this genre.

WarrenP · Jul 2, 2008

icerose said:
The Ring, Silence of the Lambs, Darkness Falls.

Those are three off the top of my head that sent pretty good chills down my horror-resistant spine.

The game F.E.A.R. is one I wish was a movie, it's freakin awesome. I also love 28 Days Later. The first Resident Evil is the scariest one out of the three.

The script of those three, or the finished movie of those three?

WarrenP · Jul 2, 2008

nmstevens said:
http://www.horrorlair.com/scripts/DEADER.pdf

Above is a link to the original screenplay of mine, "Deader" which was ultimately turned into "Hellraiser: Deader" -- the latter, I can't claim to be all that scary -- at least not to me, but the original screenplay, I've been told, is still generally considered to be quite scary.

Whether you'll find it so, of course, is a matter of conjecture.

NMS

Thanks very much, I will read this over the weekend. This is what I've been looking for, the written script that people think is scary. I realize that my opinion my not match, but it gives me a great baseline to work from, as my opinion is likely to be out of whack with the universe these days!

WarrenP · Jul 2, 2008

Lillyth said:
The Ring scared the pants off of me. I was actually afraid to go to sleep.

After that, I can't honestly say I have braved any horror flicks. (I used to be completely unaffected by them, but after The Ring? Oh man... SHUDDER. No more horror for me).

If I may ask... the original or the remake? And, what about it kept you up? A particular scene, story element, visual?

icerose · Jul 2, 2008

The movies scared me, so see how the scripts worked and see how they translate. Sometimes the really scary ones aren't so scary on script, but it's how they handle it, it's how they present it, the lighting, the music, the visuals all combine together to make it.

Remember you're simply making the blueprint, not the final. How much does a blue print look like it's final piece. What you want is not for your words to be so scary, but the images they invoke in the person's mind.

WarrenP · Jul 2, 2008

Jon-Luke said:
If you want to have your script read scary, then maybe you should read some scary writing - Edgar Allen Poe is a good start some of his short story's like "The Black Hole of Calcutta" work quite well. Then there are many short stories by Alfred Hitchcock that are worth reading too - He's not the master of suspense for nothing and many people aren't aware that he didn't only make films...

I read lots fiction horror, and that is starting to get me jaded as well. I'm thinking maybe this is like when you are researching a subject, and you get so into the details that you lose perspective on the reason for research in the first place. Maybe I need to take a few months away from viewing any horror, reading any horror, etc...

icerose · Jul 2, 2008

WarrenP said:
I read lots fiction horror, and that is starting to get me jaded as well. I'm thinking maybe this is like when you are researching a subject, and you get so into the details that you lose perspective on the reason for research in the first place. Maybe I need to take a few months away from viewing any horror, reading any horror, etc...

That would probably be a good idea. I know when I research something I tend to get bored with it and it doesn't give me that thrill anymore, but when I've been away from it for a while that thrill returns.

Lillyth · Jul 2, 2008

WarrenP said:
If I may ask... the original or the remake? And, what about it kept you up? A particular scene, story element, visual?

The one with Naomi Watts, whichever that one is.

Definitely the scene where she is climbing out of the TV. Even though we watched it on the computer, I freaked out walking by the computer screen later.

I think the whole element of "because you watched it you will die" really played a HUGE role in my fear.

I think also, because I had always considered myself "immune" to horror, to suddenly be afraid made the fear worse, if you know what I mean.

I think too, that had the story been resolved when she found the little girls body at the bottom of the well, I would have been fine.

For me, that movie pushed the boundaries, in that it WASN'T all neat and tidy, ghost avenged at the end. She was still out there and nothing would set her soul to rest, the best you could hope for was to pass the pain & horror along to someone else by making a copy of the tape was just horrific.

Especially as a mother. You need to save your kid, but you know you are condemning someone else to die in his place.

Oh, and the thought that a parent to really do that to their child...

zeprosnepsid · Jul 2, 2008

WarrenP said:
Thank you for the suggestions, although I've watched almost all of the above, and they simply don't do it for me. Take Audition, a movie with far and wide praise. Other than being a "sweet" girl who does it, and the shock of the torture scene, what is scary about that? Seeing torture/gore has never worked for me, so maybe that is part of the problem. I don't know, like I said I think I'm just getting numbed to this genre.

I think the thing with Audition, as with all good horror movies, is that it's a metaphor for a real social issue or social change. So then if people don't find it scary, something often as subjective as finding something funny, then there is at least a core of social commentary. Takashi Miike is absolutely brilliant at this, few filmmakers in the world are better at commenting on their society. But the fear may come out of not the scenes, but seeing your society portrayed this way -- such as what lies behind the repression in Japan. The same patience, restraint and will a woman must use to be quiet, demure and perfect can be turned and used in this way instead. She kills with the same demeanor she cleans with. That's what is frightening.

This article talks about this a little.

zeprosnepsid · Jul 2, 2008

Lillyth said:
Especially as a mother. You need to save your kid, but you know you are condemning someone else to die in his place.

Oh, and the thought that a parent to really do that to their child...

This has different resonance in the Japanese version (with btw Lillyth is the original and is much better), but for the American version this is completely an Iraq war metaphor. Sending other peoples children to die, to keep your children safe.

The reason some horror films do well and some flop is based on this kind of resonance with the audience.

Lillyth · Jul 2, 2008

zeprosnepsid said:
This has different resonance in the Japanese version (with btw Lillyth is the original and is much better), but for the American version this is completely an Iraq war metaphor. Sending other peoples children to die, to keep your children safe.

The reason some horror films do well and some flop is based on this kind of resonance with the audience.

So are you saying that the whole "copying the videotape" thing is NOT in the original Japanese version?

And if it is in any way scarier than the American version, I think I'll have to skip it...

zeprosnepsid · Jul 2, 2008

I don't know how you read that copying the video tape wasn't in the original. The remake is pretty much an exact remake except they added the horse bit. Everything else is pretty much exactly the same. The original is slower paced though, like most j-horror, so may be less enjoyable to most American audiences. We have gotten pretty off topic <g>

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