What do you lot think about passive constructions like: "She found herself unable to speak." or "He suddenly found himself surrounded by wolves." Is there a compelling reason to use "found him/herself" rather than "was"?
Finding myself uncertain
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For me, passive constructions can provide a humour injection and / or one of those little jolts where a reader has to re-read the line because the main hero just found himself falling off a cliff with no forewarning 
Heh. I've been looking at this one myself as I type out the manuscript (which is what I'm doing right now. No, really.)
I look at each one in isolation and see how it contributes to character and scene. My main character in the new book is fairly passive, and often "finds himself" doing things or saying things. Using the passive construction -- in moderation -- can help to underscore that, or to point out the division between what he does and what he would rather do in a given situation.
I look at each one in isolation and see how it contributes to character and scene. My main character in the new book is fairly passive, and often "finds himself" doing things or saying things. Using the passive construction -- in moderation -- can help to underscore that, or to point out the division between what he does and what he would rather do in a given situation.
Humour is a great way to use this construction. I can see that working rather well. Thanks.For me, passive constructions can provide a humour injection and / or one of those little jolts where a reader has to re-read the line because the main hero just found himself falling off a cliff with no forewarning
Good point. It would be a good way to underscore a change in character if he began the book passively and gradually took charge of his life.
She was unable to speak is not passive voice. He was surrounded by wolves is.
I don't find "found oneself" the exact equivalent to "was." There's a subtle difference between the two. To use your examples:
She was unable to speak. - This is emotionally neutral out of context.
She found herself unable to speak. - This implies a certain surprise or discomfort in the subject over her speechless plight.
He was surrounded by wolves. - Again, fairly neutral emotionally.
Suddenly he was surrounded by wolves. - Now I've added a touch of urgency with the adverb.
Suddenly he found himself surrounded by wolves. - To the urgency of "suddenly" is added a touch of surprise or shock.
Overall, I'd say that "found oneself" does bring a sharper focus on the subject and his emotional state, which the reader infers from the situation. "He found himself surrounded by wolves," and I infer "Yikes!" "He found himself surrounded by scantily clad houris," and I infer "Ahhhh."
Though if the guy likes wolves and hates houris, you would reverse the inferences.
"Find oneself" is a device I would use infrequently. A lot of these will draw attention to themselves as a simple "is" never will.
I don't find "found oneself" the exact equivalent to "was." There's a subtle difference between the two. To use your examples:
She was unable to speak. - This is emotionally neutral out of context.
She found herself unable to speak. - This implies a certain surprise or discomfort in the subject over her speechless plight.
He was surrounded by wolves. - Again, fairly neutral emotionally.
Suddenly he was surrounded by wolves. - Now I've added a touch of urgency with the adverb.
Suddenly he found himself surrounded by wolves. - To the urgency of "suddenly" is added a touch of surprise or shock.
Overall, I'd say that "found oneself" does bring a sharper focus on the subject and his emotional state, which the reader infers from the situation. "He found himself surrounded by wolves," and I infer "Yikes!" "He found himself surrounded by scantily clad houris," and I infer "Ahhhh."
Though if the guy likes wolves and hates houris, you would reverse the inferences.
"Find oneself" is a device I would use infrequently. A lot of these will draw attention to themselves as a simple "is" never will.
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I've seen passive voice work with humourous British-voiced YA.
I have never seen it successfully used anywhere else.
I have never seen it successfully used anywhere else.
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"She found herself" implies self-awareness. Take that away and she just is. It's one level deeper in terms of POV. I don't think it's "passive."
Of course, if you keep saying "she found herself" all through the ms. then you may have a problem finding an agent.
Of course, if you keep saying "she found herself" all through the ms. then you may have a problem finding an agent.
I think it's passive to say, "She found herself looking through the old files" instead of "She looked through the old files" or "She was looking through the old files."
In the first one, I wonder, was she in a coma and suddenly came to in front a bunch of files, looking through them? I'm sure there are reasons to use the first one, but I'd say to exercise moderation so that your character doesn't appear too bewildered to take action in her own life.
This is just another thing I've been noticing a lot in the novel I'm beta reading (along with the proliferation of eye descriptions).
In the first one, I wonder, was she in a coma and suddenly came to in front a bunch of files, looking through them? I'm sure there are reasons to use the first one, but I'd say to exercise moderation so that your character doesn't appear too bewildered to take action in her own life.
This is just another thing I've been noticing a lot in the novel I'm beta reading (along with the proliferation of eye descriptions).
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I think it's passive in terms of action rather than voice. My MC is something of a social dud and I have probably over-used the poor chap finding himself saying or doing soemthing stupid. I think it's very useful for momentarily taking power and control away from a character, putting him in a place where, quite suddenly, he needs to get it back.
But like Ray said, don't find yourself over-using it or you won't find yourself with an agent who finds himself interested in your mss.
But like Ray said, don't find yourself over-using it or you won't find yourself with an agent who finds himself interested in your mss.
I've mentally turned it into a red flag for both writing and editing. Probably a bit severe, but it's too easy for me to fall into the habit of using it as a story-telling device. It's great for transitions, used moderately, as someone already has said. When I find it in my own work, I try to re-fashion the same effect another way.
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"She found herself looking through the old files" doesn't make sense. "She found herself" implies sudden awareness. Unless she's sleepwalking through it, I don't see how she can just find herself doing that.
"She found herself" would be more appropriate in something like:
"She walked through the park. Suddenly she found herself surrounded by werewolves."
Maybe not, but I've seen it in published work more times than I can count. Characters seem to be able to "find themselves" doing just about anything, at just about any given time.
In the example above, I would assume the author is implying the character didn't think about the action beforehand. Kind of like, "before she knew it, she was leafing through files that were none of her business".
Occasional passive sentences in any writing are okay, as long as a majority are active with strong verbs.
Given that context alone, as you describe it, Ray, I'd have to agree. But placed in the context, say, of her roaming throughout the house, lost in thought or considering some heavy consequences, she could indeed be jerked into the present moment to find herself browsing files.
I wouldn't say the shift always has to be dramatic or drastic. Given the right circumstances, it works as a shift of mental focus to describe the character's own experience of "sudden" re-immersion in the present. In this respect I think it's a handy device, but one I wouldn't rely on regularly.
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It's like a lot of turns of phrase that are horrible if overused, but can be just right if they're used precisely and sparingly.
"I found myself in a room I'd never seen before, my head aching from a blow and my vision out of focus" means something very specific.
"I found myself wondering why Jack hadn't told me about the letter from Jeanne" is probably just sloppy writing.
"I found myself in a room I'd never seen before, my head aching from a blow and my vision out of focus" means something very specific.
"I found myself wondering why Jack hadn't told me about the letter from Jeanne" is probably just sloppy writing.
for every writing "rule" out there, there is someone who has broken it and still managed to put together a successful, well-written novel. i think the key is everything in moderation. everything, that is, except long kisses and strong coffee.
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