How do I kill off my 1st person character?

Alice.S · Jun 15, 2008

okay, I don't know if the title of this post made sense, but basically I’m writing a short story where the protagonist is talking to a dead body, while slowly dieing himself - his being suffocated by lack of oxygen- but how do I kill him off if he’s the one telling the story? And when people are dieing from lack of oxygen does their breathing become slower??

gypsyscarlett · Jun 15, 2008

There's a couple different ways you could handle this
The first that comes to my mind is "All Quiet on the Western Front". Its written in first person from the soldier's pov. Then in the very last chapter it turns to third person with the famous line, "He fell on...."

The other way novelists have done it is just keep the whole thing in first person even when showing them die. The problem with that is that some readers can't suspend the disbelief that a dead man could have narrated a story. Other readers, are absolutely fine with it.

So, I'd just suggest you concentrate on writing the story as well as you can- and not worry so much about it. You'll never be able to please everybody.

Vincent · Jun 15, 2008

You could make the creeping death obvious. Perhaps as they slowly succumb their narration becomes erratic, confused, trails off. If the narrator is aware of their impending death and has clued the reader in (or even if they don't, you can still clue the reader in), well then, the connection is made.

Faolmor · Jun 16, 2008

Alice.S said:
okay, I don't know if the title of this post made sense, but basically I’m writing a short story where the protagonist is talking to a dead body, while slowly dieing himself - his being suffocated by lack of oxygen- but how do I kill him off if he’s the one telling the story? And when people are dieing from lack of oxygen does their breathing become slower??

Initially, breathing will become quicker as the body tries to breathe in more oxygen. Pulse rate also increases. Adrenolin kicks in. This is physically exhausting, so make sure you convey this.

There does come a point when breathing will slow. This is quite far along the process. The person would possibly have lost, or be losing consciousness from hypoxea around the same time.

A person in a prolonged situation of oxygen deprivation would be experiencing a wicked headache - not to mention the feeling of panic and impending doom.

I guess if your character knows he's dying - and accepts it - then you could control the panic.

Sounds like an interesting story! Good luck with it.

dpaterso · Jun 16, 2008

You say he's talking to a dead body while dying himself... is his voice being recorded, is he leaving a message for posterity, or as a warning to others?

I'd expect some uncomfortable gasping for air to occur, and loss of concentration ("What was I saying? Oh yeah..."), and maybe dulling of vision or inability to focus on near objects ("Not sure if this damn thing is still recording..."), and perhaps hallucinations (imagining the dead guy is still alive, even having a conversation with him, "What? Are you crazy, I tried that already!").

Shrug, random thoughts.

-Derek

Alice.S · Jun 16, 2008

Should I post the story here so people can take a look and help....???

Vincent · Jun 16, 2008

Alice.S said:
Should I post the story here so people can take a look and help....???

Here isn't the place, there is no protection in place. Share Your Work is the place to share your work- but critters usually want to wait until you've got a draft ready, not read half a WIP.

How far into it are you?

Alice.S · Jun 16, 2008

beezle said:
Here isn't the place, there is no protection in place. Share Your Work is the place to share your work- but critters usually want to wait until you've got a draft ready, not read half a WIP.

How far into it are you?

Finished. I took your advice and posted it in Share Your Work.

Mark Walton · Jun 16, 2008

As a varation of another post, the narration could be in a journal and it isn't until the end that you reveal the POV character reveals they are going to die too.

At that point your third person POV 'finishes' the (incomplete) diary and reveals the character is dead (or it can be left to the reader's imagination).

Aragon · Jun 16, 2008

Sounds interesting. I personally like the person being shot, stabbed, poisoned and drowned. But I like the story idea, as most people try some third person aspect to it. I hope it is sold.

BlueLucario · Jun 16, 2008

Do you have a secondary character in your story? Find out who ever is the most important to the MC and write it from His/Her POV.

If your character runs out of oxygen, he won't breathe any slower, he'd just stop breathing. Think of a person with Asthma.

HeronW · Jun 16, 2008

Bram Stoker wrote Dracula in several 1st POV's as letters, diary entrys, recording autograph on wax rolls, articles, telegrams: Jonathan Harker, Mina Murray, Lucy Westenra, John Seward, Dr. Van Helsing, and several journalists. Harker's is the last entry detailing deaths and wrapping up the threads.

Write4U2 · Jun 17, 2008

In the Bridges of Madison County, didn't the MCs kids find her journal and read it, and that's how her story got told?

jillbrenna · Jun 18, 2008

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/As_I_Lay_Dying_(novel)

This is a description of Faulkner's "As I Lay Dying". Part of it is told by a dying first-person narrator. It's totally eerie when it switches to the other characters and you realize she's dead (sorry for the spoiler!). As a great American classic, it's totally worth the read anyway: even more so for the topic of your question.

jillbrenna · Jun 18, 2008

PS - I love your title!

How do I kill off my 1st person character?

Alice.S

just ate all your candy

gypsyscarlett

Ma fin est mon commencement

Vincent

Cheers

Faolmor

My eyes! It burns!

dpaterso

Patent pending

Alice.S

just ate all your candy

Vincent

Cheers

Alice.S

just ate all your candy

Mark Walton

Aragon

BlueLucario

Blood Elves FTW

HeronW

Down Under Fan

Write4U2

jillbrenna

jillbrenna