I recently let someone read my first chapter and the feedback i had received was very confussing. I was told I jumped too quickly into the plot and did not introduce the character. I started off my novel where my main character Lennox had just had a confrontation with a rivaling coven of vampires called the Versages and saved a girl from being killed by them. Seeing her hurt Lennox takes her home and thats where I thought I begin the story. I thought I would make the plot progress in the conflict and consequences that he faces for doing all that. Especially since there are rules that say he should never have any contact with a mortal and especially bringing her into your coven. But there is something special about this girl (Laurelle) that from the frist minute he comes in contact with her is overwhelmed with the feeling ot protect her. I would get into that later. Anyways I am conflicted and wondering what people thought about this. Another thingthe person told me I need to explain how he got turned into a vampires and his relationship with the main supporting character Danella. Again I thought I wou ld get into that later on in the book. Another thing that was discussed was how my vampire had good intentions (saving the girl and all) when he doesn't have a soul. I have Lennox reformed after he got sick of "his evil ways" . I was told that didn't make any sense. Ughhhhhh
Jump into the plot to early
- Thread starter Angel_Lorena26
- Start date
Can you post the first chapter in "share your work"? It'd be easier to answer if we could read it.
a conscience and a soul are not mutually exclusive imo. You can create your universe however you want. Decide how much you respect this reader's opinion, and then change or continue.
A good beginning raises questions in the reader's mind, and makes them need and want to go on reading. So if you do answer all these questions eventually, it isn't necessarily a problem that you don't at the beginning.
On the other hand, too many questions, and the reader gets confused. Too confused, and they don't want to continue. So you have to weave in enough information early on so that things make enough sense, and so that your main character seems sympathetic.
It sound like you have a YA urban fantasy, so your target reader would be a fairly mature, sophisticated reader compared to a middle-grade or chapter book reader. That means you can get away with a lot less explanation up front, and need to have plenty of drama and unexpected developments early on to hook a reader who's probably already gobbled up a dozen vampire books. So if your friend's suggestions would slow down the beginning, it may be better not to follow too many of them.
I'm finding that people have very strong opinions about the "perfect" beginning and that I, too, am getting contradictory advice and feedback. Deciding what to do about that advice can be very, very difficult and time-consuming. Pennstater is right. Get more feedback, and think very carefully about whose opinions you trust.
On the other hand, too many questions, and the reader gets confused. Too confused, and they don't want to continue. So you have to weave in enough information early on so that things make enough sense, and so that your main character seems sympathetic.
It sound like you have a YA urban fantasy, so your target reader would be a fairly mature, sophisticated reader compared to a middle-grade or chapter book reader. That means you can get away with a lot less explanation up front, and need to have plenty of drama and unexpected developments early on to hook a reader who's probably already gobbled up a dozen vampire books. So if your friend's suggestions would slow down the beginning, it may be better not to follow too many of them.
I'm finding that people have very strong opinions about the "perfect" beginning and that I, too, am getting contradictory advice and feedback. Deciding what to do about that advice can be very, very difficult and time-consuming. Pennstater is right. Get more feedback, and think very carefully about whose opinions you trust.