Beta Reader Wanted for Short Comedy

crimsonlaw · Jun 11, 2008

I am in need of someone to read a short script I have developed for a local contest. My current work is 25 pages long and I need to trim the fat a bit. I would like feedback specifically on:

Is the blasted thing even funny? I loath being that guy who just thinks he is funny...
Are the main characters realistic or are they too odd?
What parts of the script are strong and what parts are weak?
General, honest feedback.

I am not at all picky about who reads this. The more feedback, the better, and the more diverse the feedback, the better. Also, my deadline is not that close, so there isn't much of a time crunch for whoever helps me out.

Thanks in advance to whoever is willing to take on such an epic task!

Captshady · Jun 11, 2008

If you accept that I'm no expert, I'll gladly read and return my opinion.

Mr. Anonymous · Jun 11, 2008

I'll have a look at it too, if you're still looking for people. PM if you are. I'll try to read it Friday.

lawtowriting · Jun 14, 2008

Thanks for the welcome on the newbie thread. If you're still looking for readers, I'd be happy to take a look.

coneflower2001 · Jun 14, 2008

And you have another member interested...If you need another opinion.

crimsonlaw · Jun 16, 2008

Thanks to everyone who has helped out so far. It's been so nice to hear back from people willing to offer criticism (unlike my friends and family who are just too nice to me). You guys kick butt and I appreciate it!

Captshady · Jun 20, 2008

OH

MY

GOD!!!!!!!

That script was huckin' fillarious!!!!!!!! Fargin hysterical!!!!! Kudos to you, man! Holy crap I literally laughed out loud while reading it, something I rarely do. I have nothing to recommend to change, only a couple typos I found:

Page 2 typo:
------------
APRIL
(confused)
You named you dog

should be "you named YOUR dog"

------------

Page 20 typo:
------------
She's can be a little bit of a stalker
She instead of She's

------------

Page 22 typo:
------------

but I knew she's give me
attitude all weekend

"she's" should be "she'd"

------------

Captshady · Jun 20, 2008

I had to share with a friend, I knew she'd like it, here was her reply:

ROFLMAO
HE ASKED HER WHAT SIZE DRESS SHE WEARS?
ROFLMAO
ok I dont know who this guy is but tell him from me this is *(&^*(^& hysterical
and a nightmare all at the same time

censhorship mine

DeaSis · Jun 20, 2008

I'd be happy to read it too. Are you still looking for readers?

crimsonlaw · Jun 20, 2008

So much kindness! I really appreciate it. DeaSis, I sent you a private message, fyi.

Thanks again to everyone for your help.

joebounty · Jun 20, 2008

i know im a little late to the cirsus but im always looking for something to read and would love to read it. (i just started a 12 hour shift so i have plenty of time)

lisake · Jun 21, 2008

Still looking?

I'd love to read your work (especially after reading some of these comments and because it's only 25 pages). PM me if you're still looking for betas.

CandlestickJay · Jun 23, 2008

Same here! I'm a theatre major so I'm always willing to read new scripts just for fun and offer opinions! Hope you PM me! :-D

Captshady · Jun 23, 2008

Post your reviews! Certainly I'm not alone in my opinion?

crimsonlaw · Jun 29, 2008

Thanks again for everyone's help and Captshady's constant praise! Sorry for any delays in getting back to anyone. Work posed a few problems this week for me. I've tried to PM everyone who seemed interested, so if you didn't hear from me, PM me and feel free to fuss at me.

Thanks again everyone!

Beta Reader Wanted for Short Comedy

crimsonlaw

Roll Tide Roll!!!

Captshady

What happened to my LIFE?!

Mr. Anonymous

Just a guy with a pen & a delusion

lawtowriting

coneflower2001

crimsonlaw

Roll Tide Roll!!!

Captshady

What happened to my LIFE?!

Captshady

What happened to my LIFE?!

DeaSis

crimsonlaw

Roll Tide Roll!!!

joebounty

lisake

Sometimes I feel like a Dwarf

CandlestickJay

Captshady

What happened to my LIFE?!

crimsonlaw

Roll Tide Roll!!!