First person

Spook · Jun 9, 2008

I'm writing a short story in first person and am having a hard time introducing the m/c's name. Any thoughts? Here's the intro:

If I had known yesterday what was to be, what was to come, I would have barracaded the doors, locked all the windows and retreated from the outside world completely. I didn't know, though. No magic eight ball or tarot cards would have predicted the grim events that lay ahead. Destiny already had my fate in mind and there was no way around it. Even when the old crone came to me, offered the warning, my hand had been dealt. I wish I would have listened.

kuwisdelu · Jun 9, 2008

I like to do it through dialogue, since I think it's a lot more natural than the narrator talking about his or her own name.

Like continuing on to say Listen up, Jerry, the old crone said when he came to me...

Don't worry about leaving out the name until an appropriate time to introduce it. The reader won't mind.

Nakhlasmoke · Jun 9, 2008

Destiny had already said: "Karen, this is your fate, like it or lump it."

blacbird · Jun 9, 2008

Or you could try the Herman Melville first-sentence route:

"Call me Ishmael."

caw

mikeland · Jun 9, 2008

I agree with kuwisdelu. Put it in where it feels natural. Don't shoehorn it.

I'll probably be alone on this advice, but I don't think it is necessary to name the narrator in a first person story. I have a first-person story out in a litmag right now that is 14 pages and I never give the narrator a name. (Of course, I shouldn't admit this as the writer, but I'm having trouble remembering if I even gave him a name for my own reference.)

Keyboard Hound · Jun 9, 2008

I have a collection of interlocking short stories told by a young narrator. I decided to put his name in when it felt right. Right now, I'm on story twelve, and the boy is yet unnamed. At first leaving him unnamed was unintentional, but once I finished several stories, it's become a fun thing to see how far I can get without giving him a name. I might make it through to the end.

slcboston · Jun 9, 2008

I would second that I don't think he needs a name. (Or third, or fourth, or whatever order I'm in.)

Lots of pieces come to mind that work very well without ever knowing the MC's name. Clint Eastwood's "man with no name" trilogy comes to mind (yes, i know, technically he is *named* in each of the three but let's not ruin great cinema with inconsequential trivia, shall we?), as does "Fight Club" where we never, ever find out the name of Edward Norton's character.

Sometimes, not having a name can work better, especially if it takes you a while to get around to it. You run the risk then of disappointing readers, with a name (Jimmy? JIMMY???

) that doesn't live up to expectations. Again, drawing from film/tv, think of the great "unseen" characters, such as Norm's wife from "Cheers" or Niles' wife, Maris, from "Frasier." By the time multiple seasons had rolled around, there was no way to fill that role and have the viewers be satisfied.

So, does he need a name? No. But if you're not going to name him, stick to it.

And for the love of all that's holy, if you are going to give him a name, it had better not be "Angus."

kuwisdelu · Jun 9, 2008

kuwisdelu said:
Don't worry about leaving out the name until an appropriate time to introduce it. The reader won't mind.

I agree with this. Any by "an appropriate time to introduce it," I take that to mean if there never is--don't worry about it even then. As pointed out above, if you never need to name your character, there's no need to.

Did I seriously just quote myself?

On the other end of the spectrum, don't keep your character unnamed just to be mysterious if your story calls for your character to have a name at one point or another. If other characters converse with your MC often enough that they would say his or her name at some point, or someone asks for the MC, etc., don't try to find convoluted ways around it just to be enigmatic. Readers will see right through that, and probably won't forgive you.

blacbird · Jun 9, 2008

kuwisdelu said:
Did I seriously just quote myself?

Yes, you did. Now I have to try it myself.

caw

kuwisdelu · Jun 9, 2008

blacbird said:
Yes, you did. Now I have to try it myself.

caw

It felt good. ...too good...

astonwest · Jun 10, 2008

In my short story "Little White Truths" I don't bother giving the MC's name until page 5 (through dialogue) and it doesn't seem to suffer.

Spook · Jun 10, 2008

Thanks for the input. I've yet to name her... character discription does lead you to a female a little further in the story. She has not spoken to the old crone yet, but this may be a good "spook" twist I can work in. How does the old lady know her name?

blacbird · Jun 10, 2008

blacbird said:
Yes, you did. Now I have to try it myself.

caw

Ooooooh. You be right.

caw

Silver King · Jun 10, 2008

I read a great book once where the first person narrator revealed his name in the opening sentence: Call me Ishmael.

It worked well for that novel at the time and would've been just as effective if used for a short story.

Nakhlasmoke · Jun 10, 2008

Silver King said:
I read a great book once where the first person narrator revealed his name in the opening sentence: Call me Ishmael.

It worked well for that novel at the time and would've been just as effective if used for a short story.

And the opening of Human Croquet gave Melville a nod with its opening - Call me Isobel. (quoting from memory here...)

Summonere · Jun 11, 2008

Lots of ways to do it, but the opening reminds me very much of H.P. Lovecraft, who might well have started something like this:

I am Basil Elton, keeper of the North Point light that my father and grandfather kept before me.
-- "The White Ship", opening sentence

In other words, if you wanted to put your main character's name up front or very early in the text, you might well do it something like that. Here's a coupla samples:

I am Basil Elton [adding as much or as little elaboration about this character as desired]. If I had known yesterday what was to be, what was to come, I would have...

Or you could go all second-positioney, likey thissey:

If I had known yesterday what was to be, what was to come, I would have barracaded [typo] the doors, locked all the windows and retreated from the outside world completely. I didn't know, though. No magic eight ball or tarot cards would have predicted the grim events that lay ahead. Destiny already had my fate in mind and there was no way around it. Even when the old crone came to me, offered the warning, my hand had been dealt. I wish I would have listened. I am Basil Elton, a doomed man, and this is my story.

Of course H.P. also used this approach, which is the first paragraph from "The Temple."

(Manuscript found on the coast of Yucatan.)

On August 20, 1917, I, Karl Heinrich, Graf von Altberg-Ehrenstein, Lieutenant-Commander in the Imperial German Navy and in charge of the submarine U-29, deposit this bottle and record in the Atlantic Ocean at a point to me unknown but probably about N. Latitude 20 degrees, W. Longitude 35 degrees, where my ship lies disabled on the ocean floor.

Clearly H.P. is getting his main characters' names into these stories from the get-go, and in the former case we're getting the story told by Basil Eaton in traditional narrative form, whereas in the latter we're reading the log entries of a doomed submarine captain.

Those matters aside, advice given by others is pretty much the only real rule, here. Gotta put the name in only where it makes logical sense in the course of the story. If it doesn't have a place of logical and aesthetic fit, it'll jar readers like an unexpected pothole on the otherwise smooth storytelling superhighway.

Kate Thornton · Jun 11, 2008

I have written four connected stories (3 of them in print) where I couldn't decide on a name for the first-person MC until it became critical that she have one. A secondary character interviewed with her and noted her desk nameplate in Story Number 2. Then I was stuck with her name throughout the next 2 stories. Remind me to pick something we all can live with next time, something not too cute or too unwieldy - or too long! But she just didn't need a name in that first story...

The MC in my first person novel (her chapters are first person) has a scene up front with her husband, who addresses her by her first name. Later, a characters calls her Mrs. & we get her last name, too.

Phaeal · Jun 11, 2008

As Summonere suggests, it's fine to have the character name herself at the start of the story if you're using the conceit that she's writing her story down, either as traditional narrative or in a journal or a letter to a stranger or whatever. She might also introduce herself right away if the conceit is she's telling her story aloud to someone who doesn't know her.

But:

Since only one character can be "I, me, my, mine and myself" in a narrative with one POV, you won't confuse anyone by leaving a first person narrator unnamed for as long as necessary, even if "as long as necessary" (or desired) is forever.

C.M. Daniels · Jun 11, 2008

I've written short stories in first person, where the narrator's name is never mentioned, because it wasn't as important as telling the story. Sometimes, it's a needed detail and other times, it's just going to throw off the flow of what you're trying to say.

Macage · Jun 11, 2008

mikeland said:
I agree with kuwisdelu. Put it in where it feels natural. Don't shoehorn it.

I'll probably be alone on this advice, but I don't think it is necessary to name the narrator in a first person story. I have a first-person story out in a litmag right now that is 14 pages and I never give the narrator a name. (Of course, I shouldn't admit this as the writer, but I'm having trouble remembering if I even gave him a name for my own reference.)

I have a short story that I'm shopping around that's first person, and the narrator is never named. Now, some places don't like unnamed narrators or characters (I think Shimmer Magazine has something in their guidelines about how they want characters to be named... Oops) but I don't really see a problem with it. But then, who am I to decide what's right and wrong? :Shrug:

I'm with the others, though. Put it in where it makes sense and flows most naturally. Don't force it. And if the narrator decides s/he doesn't want a name, go with that.

yaxkin · Jul 20, 2008

Hey There

I have not read the other remarks in this thread... That having been said, I also write in the first person and I believe that by doing so it is always best to assume a solipsistic perspective that is better off being defined by circumstance rather than by a self-referential use of name.

Example: I could never have imagined that I would be the one to decide the fate of all mankind. The Mayans say that the role I am playing in this manifest prophecy is that of the time-keeper. My younger sister, on the other hand, always referred to me as Doctor Smartie Pants. Fortunately, my friends at the University have always referred to me as "Pax", no more, no less. I only hope that now I can at least live up to my name before I have to die with the shame of having caused the annihilation of humanity....

Just Trying To Help

P.S. Just saw Macage's comment and that is why I went with "Solipsistic" He's right!

Manderley · Jul 21, 2008

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier has an unnamed first person POV narrator. It works fine. Actually, in this case, not naming the character can even be seen as part of the character description: she's so young, plain and insecure in herself, that she's not even given a name.

First person

Spook

Fairy dust, fairy dust!

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

Nakhlasmoke

yes

blacbird

mikeland

Call me Pookie

Keyboard Hound

Old kid. Tough skin!!

slcboston

Pasture-ized

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

blacbird

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

astonwest

2 WIP? A glutton for punishment

Spook

Fairy dust, fairy dust!

blacbird

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

Nakhlasmoke

yes

Summonere

Kate Thornton

Still Happy to be Here. Or Anywhere

Phaeal

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

C.M. Daniels

Cinnamon, sit. Bad fish!

Macage

yaxkin

Manderley

Slowly does it.