Eeep! Anyone else find themselves stalling on purpose (last chapter)

Sunshine13 · May 29, 2008

OK, so I reached the mark of my last Chapter on Sunday...and have a WHOPPING 600 words!

I've found myself sitting, staring at the word document, and just....sitting, and staring at the word document. So, I started reading stuff about queries. I started making a list of agents on Query Tracker, I started reading agents blogs. You know . . . ANYthing to keep from finishing my last chapter. Of course, up until today I was telling myself it was because that last chapter needed to "brew" so I can get that moment of "PING!" and write it all out in one sitting.

But nope. I've come to a realization I am utterly and completely TERRIFIED. Because finishing my last chapter means I have a complete book, which means I then have to actually WRITE those horrendous query letters, which THEN leads to all those rejections I am sure to get.

And also...Oh my Gosh, what if it ends up a piece of TRASH?! All this hard work I put into it, and it's nothing but junk! I've poured hours upon countless hours, sweat, tears, devotion for NOTHING.

Okay, *I* don't think it's trash, but what writer (at the moment of conceiving their book) *really* considers their stuff "trash"? (There's always that one time you go back a few years later to read something you wrote and think, "What the HELL was I thinking???") But this isn't one of those times. No, this is a masterpiece. But . . . But . . . what if it just doesn't WORK.

So there it is. I now know why I'm stalling. Not for the sake of the chapter. For the sake of myself and my sanity. I am so very terrified of this query thing. I've never been good at summarizing things, let alone from a 100K book into one paragraph. AH!

Let me repeat that for emphasis.

AAAAAAAAH!

And I KNOW I shouldn't be worrying about my query, my hook, how in the world I'm ever going to write in one or two paragraphs the sum of my entire story, but I can't help myself. It's better than actually finishing my chapter, right? (Not a serious question, just in case you didn't get that).

Anyway . . . I'm sure I'm not the only one who goes through this, and in fact I am almost convince it's a natural process. But if I *am* the only one who goes through this, then maybe I'm just really crazy and . . . well, just really insane.

Angelinity · May 29, 2008

...sorry i don't understand. you have... 600 (SIX HUNDRED AND NONE MORE) words. as of your LAST... chapter?

James81 · May 29, 2008

I always look forward to writing the last chapter. that's the one that I want to pack punch with and get to be dramatic and drive my point home.

But I understand how you feel.

Think of it like this...even if it IS trash (which it probably isn't), it's EXPERIENCE. With each word you type, with each book you write, with each moment you set words to the page you get a little better at it.

Even if you first book doesn't make it to the stands, it's still a stepping stone and it's NOT wasted work. It's only wasted work if you give up.

Finish the book and leave it sit for a month and start writing something else.

steveg144 · May 29, 2008

I'm a big fan of writing the beginning and the end first. Then the middle part sort of fills in on its own

but the end is already taken care of.

Sunshine13 · May 29, 2008

Angelinity: No no, my WIP is 97K, with the last CHAPTER being 600 so far lol, sorry for the confusion.

And I can't bring myself to write the last chapter before all the others. I'm an orderly person, I thrive on order, ORDER I tell you!

And James, I thought I too looked forward to getting that last chapter out to pack the punch and tie everything together, but find myself shaking in my boots. What if I don't give it the justice it really needs?

I know, I am being a drama queen about this and making it far bigger of an issue than it should be. But that's me. Living with me is difficult, but only IF you're me.

But getting this all out I think will help me get my arse into gear and finish it. I hope.

Angelinity · May 29, 2008

...My WIP is 97K, with the last CHAPTER being 600 so far lol, sorry for the confusion.

And I can't bring myself to write the last chapter before all the others...

so i am SLOW then...?? it still don't add up for me.

mikeland · May 29, 2008

I'm right there with you, Christa. I always slow down on the writing as I get to the end. On my last novel, I found myself doing a complete read-through of the book before writing the last 500 words or so.

I usually know what I need to write. I just can't quite push through right away (though it is usually done within a week).

For me, I don't think it is fear of finishing. It is probably dreading what needs to be done once I have a first draft. Revising and rewriting and editing the second draft.

As long as you eventually write those last 600 words, I'd say there is nothing to worry about.

Diana W. · May 29, 2008

What does it feel like to be so close to finishing? I can only imagine! :tongue

Anyway good luck and just DO it! Do you have another project waiting in the wings?

windyrdg · May 29, 2008

Sit down in front of the computer and repeat after me, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Seriously, completing a novel, any novel, is a terrific accomplishment. Congratulations. One thing. If you are just now completing it, it will need some serious editing, polishing, etc. before it's ready to send to an agent. (This is, however, an appropriate time to start researching agents, reading their blogs, gathering query tips and so on.)

I'm in the editing phase of my current WIP and made notes last night about a particular chapter. I want to ramp up the emotion and really tug at the reader's heart strings. I find myself hesitating because I think I'm worried that I can't do a good enough job, that it'll end up trite and sappy.

Could this be your problem, perhaps? That final chapter is where you tie it all up and leave the reader with memorable impressions that will, hopefully, last a lifetime. That's a tall order. It wouldn't surprise me if you said you were a little hesitant to jump right in there and have at it. Tell yourself it's always easier to edit than create. Good Luck

Sunshine13 · May 29, 2008

"That final chapter is where you tie it all up and leave the reader with memorable impressions that will, hopefully, last a lifetime. That's a tall order. It wouldn't surprise me if you said you were a little hesitant to jump right in there and have at it."

YES!

And as for the revising/polishing, etc, I'm a little unorthodox. I do it as I go. Each chapter up until about 28 (my last chapter is 33) has been edited, revised, and edited about the average of 3 times. It's just the way I work.

So once I finish my last chapter, I'll only have a few to go through several times before I consider my work a polished manuscript (as polished as I'll let it get. You have to find a good stopping point, sometimes editing becomes insane).

Angel: Maybe I'm just really communicating badly. Basically, all I have left is my last chapter to write, and I've only written 600 words into it. And then I stalled. Everything else is written in my WIP except the last chapter, in which those 600 words are probably going to end up pointless because I think I'm just going to scratch them and start the chapter over lol.

Thanks for the encouragement.

I will say I just wrote 800 words in the chapter before to make it better. WOOT.

underthecity · May 29, 2008

Writing the first draft of the last chapter is not so bad. In fact, you may have to stop and think about that last chapter for two or three days before you can finish it.

REVISING that last chapter is the tough part. If I were you, I would be dreading that part more than the first draft.

When I wrote the first draft of the last chapter(s) of my book, two years ago, my biggest angst was exactly how I wanted to wrap things up. I knew where the end was going, but getting there was the tough part. I ended up having several possibilties, and chose the one that worked the best.

Revising it, though, has been a killer. I've been working on revising these last few chapters for several weeks, now. That is, revision on top of revisions, on top of revisions, on top of revisions. Each version is better than the previous, but it still isn't fleshed out enough. I posted one chapter in the horror SYW for feedback because I got so stuck. The feedback given was invaluable, too.

But the last chapters aren't done yet.

Don't even worry about query letters and agents yet. That's for down the road.

allen

Sunshine13 · May 29, 2008

"Don't even worry about query letters and agents yet. That's for down the road."

I know. I was distracted myself from reality I think

Glad to hear you're getting there on yours! You're probably right about the revision of the last chapter. It's just so important!

Susan Gable · May 29, 2008

Christa, I always drag my feet at the end, too.

I think for me there's a little bit of not wanting to let my characters go. There's a certain sadness to me in completing the book, finishing their story, because then I have to let them go.

Also, once I let them go, they're not "just mine" anymore. Next they belong to my editors, and then they belong to my readers as well. And while those are both very GOOD THINGS, well... <shrug>

So yes, I can relate to dragging your feet at the end of the book.

Now go finish it.

Susan G.

Angelinity · May 29, 2008

i don't agree, THE END is not as difficult as the beginning. chapter 1 (once the story is COMPLETE) is harder to finesse than the LAST chapter.

once you decide on the last chapter, the story is DONE. then, the fun begins.

Juniper1 · May 29, 2008

I stalled. I started taking long breaks from writing. One day, when my husband took the kids out for the day I sat down and wrote the last 4K. Then I cried and took a shower and felt very very off.

The next day I rewarded myself by spending a few dollars on a binder and having my husband print out the whole lovely mess for me. And I got to enjoy the "Did you realize how much you wrote? I knew you were writing something but this is really long."

I really did agonize over the end. Don't be afraid. The finish line isn't quite as scary once you step over it.

JustGo · May 29, 2008

By the time I reached the end of my novel, I was so psyched I wrote the final 8,000 words in a single day, more than double my previous record for amount written in 24 hours. I suppose I don't know what it's like to feel like you do at that stage, then, but I often experience it in the revision process.

As I'm revising my novel, I'll often come to a scene that I know I haven't done justice to, or one which I've discovered several errors in that will be a royal PITA to fix. I used to just avoid it, stopping for the day and saying "Eh, I'll do it tomorrow..." and always tomorrow. Then I realized life is too short to waste on one project for so long, so I came up with a solution - I sit there for four hours.

I check the clock, then I get to work. I'm not allowed to do anything other than write, get a glass of water, or run to the bathroom for the duration of those four hours. If I can't think of what to write, I stare at the screen until I come up with something. If I'm forced to abandon it for a time period, I jump right back in afterwards, refusing to stop.

You'll be amazed what you'll accomplish when you've got nothing else at all to do for such an extended period of time. You'll write - believe me, you'll write - whether it's painful or easy. Obviously, not everyone has so much time on their hands, but setting yourself at least an hour and a half should do it. Even the most experienced procrastinator isn't likely to sit on his or her hands for that long

Michael Parks · May 29, 2008

James81 said:
Think of it like this...even if it IS trash (which it probably isn't), it's EXPERIENCE. With each word you type, with each book you write, with each moment you set words to the page you get a little better at it.

Even if you first book doesn't make it to the stands, it's still a stepping stone and it's NOT wasted work. It's only wasted work if you give up.

This is true, and what keeps me going when I have doubts.

loquax · May 29, 2008

Endings are difficult for me, too. Not because I'm emotionally attached or because I think my work sucks, but because I write organically, and the ending is always a big question mark. A branch can grow and grow, but it always ends with a leaf. And leaves are very different from branches. Roots I have no problem with--I just bury them in the dirt and see what comes out. It's the damned leaves that get me every time. Sure, you have mini leaves all the way along the branch, but its the one at the end that stands out. This metaphor is getting boring.

I guess the ending of a novel is where you have to sit back and think about where you're going with this crazy chain of events, and that always leads to procrastination, hesitation, and ultimately fear. And fear leads to the dark side or something like that. Of course, the dark side has its benefits; red light sabres, cooler outfits, and a much stronger connection to the Force. But in the end Luke comes along and BAM, that old man's falling into that blue shaft with all the electricity coming out of him and I don't think he ends up getting published. Or if he did, I don't think the sales would have been very good. I think he'd probably choose PA.

Conclusion: I have no idea, just write the damned thing.

Raphee · May 30, 2008

The End. That has me so worked up that I've spent the better part of a few months writing and rewriting and changing the story line; to the point where I was about to give up.

I've finally managed to give some semblance of order to the last couple of chapters. I am now into editing and know that the last few chapters are going to be the hardest.

Just hang in there. I feel for you.

maestrowork · May 30, 2008

I usually stall when I get to really tough material or emotionally-wrenching/depressing part. I'm by nature a happy-go-lucky guy and I kind of dread about those parts of the book like I dread about conflicts in real life. But after a while I will move forward again -- I just need time to recover.

It's usually the mid-book that is really tough, because that's when a lot of the emotions are brought on and not resolved. That's where all the twists are, leading me to some really dark places. The ending is easy for me, because everything is going to be be resolved and loose ends tied up, so it's a great release for me.

Eeep! Anyone else find themselves stalling on purpose (last chapter)

Sunshine13

Mom by day, writer by night!

Angelinity

absent

James81

Great Scott Member

steveg144

Crusty Polemicist

Sunshine13

Mom by day, writer by night!

Angelinity

absent

mikeland

Call me Pookie

Diana W.

I'm evolving

windyrdg

New kid, be gentle!

Sunshine13

Mom by day, writer by night!

underthecity

Finestkind

Sunshine13

Mom by day, writer by night!

Susan Gable

Dreamer of dreams, teller of tales

Angelinity

absent

Juniper1

JustGo

Digging through graves of giants

Michael Parks

In the moment

loquax

I verb nouns adverbly

Raphee

In debt to AW

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray