Throwing in the towel

sanctuary6284 · May 26, 2008

At what point in writing your first draft do you feel like giving up? Why do you keep going?

For me that point has always been around the 5000 word mark. Everytime I reach this point, I read over what I've written and go into shock at how badly put together my story seems (in comparison to what I want it to be like). The dialogue and setting don't feel right. The words don't flow off the page. After questioning my abilities as a writer for two or three days, I start over.

This time however I've come to realize that I've been expecting too much of my first draft and I'm going to continue writing and try my best to finish and get into the editing process. Then I'll see where my work is going and how best to edit it. I just need to get the story out of my head and on paper. I can't expect perfection in a first draft (though it would be nice

. Could you imagine never needing to edit?)

So what about the rest of you? Any of you have moments like this? Please share, especially some of you published folks.

Mumut · May 26, 2008

I have continual, repetitive feelings of doubt. They are of two kinds. First is when I've written too far ahead of my last edit. I don't want to go too far in case something earlier needs a slight tweek which would put the rest out of whack. Just think if Giovanni di Simone had checked his work in Pisa after a few metres...

The second is when my mind is not happy with my writing. I have no energy to keep writing. This is a sure sign that there is a specific matter I'm subconsciously unhappy with. The last occasion, just over, was where a character was not fulfilling his full potential. He was acting in a normal manner to his type and this wasn't inspiring or very useful to the story. It was easily fixed then I felt ready to keep going with the story.

But I never think of giving up the story. I don't start writing unless I'm sure there is a story there. And if there is a story, it is possible to write it. So when I've written the first draft, I've usually actually performed a running re-write.

Mel · May 26, 2008

Nothing wrong with shitty first drafts. Many of us do those. In the end you can always think of it as a flowing outline to be filled in and worked with in the next stages. Main point is to just get the gist of the story down, then you'll at least have something to work with.

Garpy · May 26, 2008

All I can say is when I started out writing, I detested everything I wrote. It seemed cheesey and awkward. So quite often I rewrote stuff and over and over. However, I realise now that that's a good thing - it meant I could recognise bad writing and work on it.

The sort of writer you absolutely DON'T want to be, is one who believes in him/herself way beyond their ability. The sort of writer who boldly states 'I only write final drafts.'

sheadakota · May 26, 2008

I never give up- I allow my first draft to suck and promise that when I get to the end i will come back and do my characters justice- I write notes to myself about what I want to change and things I want to add.

I know this doesn't work for everybody, but i never edit during the first draft- I just get the story down- all of it- The plot may have holes, the dialouge may be stiff and there might be more telling than showing- but what the hell- no one is going to read this version and the first draft to me is I guess what a lot a people call an outline- I work from that to get to the finished product.

I always said I don't outline, but I just realized that I do- with my first draft- huh, what do you know?

NeuroFizz · May 26, 2008

There is nothing more important in this business than self-discipline. At 5,000 words, you haven't even come close to the "base camp" of the mid-novel. If you want to get beyond your front porch, you have to just start climbing. Your route doesn't have to be the most efficient on the first go. Experience the summit before worrying about that efficiency.

Also, don't start something unless you plan on finishing it. If you are unsure of being able to finish a story from the outset, don't even start it--you won't have the drive to get through even a slight sticky spot.

sanctuary6284 · May 26, 2008

Oh I'm going to finish this one. It's the first ime when I've started writing that I have ANY idea of what's going on in my story, its background, and with all characters possibly involved.

In fact I think I'll go work on my word count right now.

gem1122 · May 26, 2008

For a loooong time, my current novel had been stuck at the 1/2 way point. I found it impossible to move forward because there were so many problems with it.

What kept me from quitting and starting over is the realization that I could easily end up in a cycle of abandoned projects. It's difficult to do so, but I'm allowing myself the opportunity to write poorly every day. It helps.

Ken · May 26, 2008

for me, if I don't get off to a good start right away it is almost inevitable that I'll eventually wind up scratching the whole story at some point. That's just me, though. I approach writing like a mason, laying down each word like a brick and cussing the cement truck for being tardy >:-(

JamieFord · May 26, 2008

Here's what happened to me:

I knew my first draft had warts and flaws, but I finished it anyway. The goal was just to finish it, then I'd fix everything later. My second draft ended up being a complete rewrite. Even as I was writing that next draft, I couldn't believe how much better it was and how craptastic the first draft had been. The same thing happened as I went on to a 3rd and 4th draft. By the time I'd finished that 4th draft, I'd grown as a writer--so much so that my craft had surpassed my story, so I shelved the whole thing and just called it great practice.

Then I wrote something fresh (HOTEL) and sold it.

Just finish, but allow your self room to grow as a writer.

maestrowork · May 26, 2008

Mid-book is really tough. I seem to feel like I should just give up at around the 50,000-60000 mark. I almost quit the first time if not for my unwillingness to accept defeat. And this time I also thought maybe I should shelf this for now. But I marched on (once again, I refuse defeat) and I just broke the 75,000-word mark. I think everything will be okay.

Linda Adams · May 26, 2008

I was having trouble getting past the first fifty pages, so I finally tried Book in a Month (you can find it at the bookstore, if you're interested). That had a novel concept of leaving the subplots for later drafts (I have a lot of trouble with subplots in the first draft). I wrote most of the first draft in three weeks, and I know right now that most of it's going to be cut out. I kind of need to do a draft to start getting the direction of the story, so I didn't know who the bad guy was until more than halfway through. I have gaping holes, probably places that make utterly no sense, and I couldn't figure out how to end it. I even have an escape scene in there where I painted myself into a corner just trying to make the word count, so I skipped over resolving it just so I could keep moving and get it done.

But now I'm in the second draft, and I'm seeing how it's all supposed to come together. Which I wouldn't be able to do if I hadn't finished a first draft first.

Kalyke · May 26, 2008

The story has to interest me. If I am not interested, I figure a reader won't be interested. If these things don't happen, then I dump the story. Those are the ones I don't keep in a box, they are the ones that go to the paper-shredder. I don't know the actual word count, but if it is a terrible, un-salvageable story, I get to maybe between 20 and 50 pages.

Generally if I begin to focus on something though, I know that it is only a matter of time that I figure it out and write a book. My WIP had about 3 stories right before it, which I jettisoned, but all in which the main character appeared and had exactly the same job. So Bad Stories could be tests for later books, you might just not have the character under control yet. I guess try to find what excited you about the story in the first place, and try to look at that again.

And I agree that the first draft is not a beautiful thing. The final draft is what you should shoot for.

Zoombie · May 26, 2008

Mid-book. It always seems slow and sluggish...but then, I hit the point where the sniper on the roof shows up or the characters start running again.

And it took me two full re-writes before I got that middle to remain as exciting as the beginning and the end. That's not edits, those are re-writes. As in, replaced every single word. Characters came in, left, came back, turned evil, turned good, died, came back to life, the villain changed places...

And in the end, a good story came out. I just need to whack it a few times before it becomes an awesome story.

Neat, huh? So...don't throw in the towel. Just keep plowing...and eventually, you'll get there.

Or you'll go crazy and eat your gun.

MsK · May 26, 2008

At about 40,000 to 50,000 words is when I start getting the feeling that it would be impossible to go any further with the convoluted mess I have going.
I have several abandoned first drafts in that word count range. That is one of the biggest reasons I joined AW. I wanted the support of a like-minded group to be there when I felt like quitting and also a better place to let my (undiagnosed) ADD play around when I needed a break, rather than some of the less motivational webstes I used to visit...
*drags a few minds out of the gutter*
Websites such as TMZ.com, Online Solitaire etc...
The good news is that I pulled one of those abandoned pieces out and have completed a first draft for the first time ever. I am currently working on the first revision of that story and I'm loving the way it's flowing.

Susan Breen · May 26, 2008

I find that pages 120-140 are the hardest to write. I've got past the initial excitement and there's an awful lot of territory to cover until I reach the end. All I can really do is force myself to go on, and I set a goal of 5 pages a day, and if it's junk, then I just go back and rewrite it.

Feathers · May 26, 2008

Maybe you should just not read those 5,000 words. (So helpful I know.)

Lately I've been getting discouraged halfway through the beginning, wherever that happens to be depending on the format I'm using. I'm just gearing up to plow through and finish the beginning when I glance back and go, ohmiGOSH. That looks awful! And I'm immobilized. So I go back and edit everything, and finally write one new chapter, and realize it's all messed up again. So I go back and edit. And again, and again...

What happens here, I've realized, is that at this point I've stopped seeing the beauty in my novel. I'm so worried about getting to the middle where everything is plot that i forget about what sparked me to write this story in the first place. I've lost the joy of creating.

When I'm in this state, everything I touch turns to ashes. I have to go away from it for a little while. Not long, maybe a day or two, just enough to clear my head. Then I go and find something good I've done. Even if it's just a neat plot I created, a one-liner that sparkles on the page, or something more concrete like a bit of praise from a beta-readers. Doesn't matter. I find something that brings back the beauty. Finally, I remind myself of the beauty of the story I'm having trouble with. I get myself back in sync. Only then can I write on.

Hope that helps

-Feathers

Paichka · May 26, 2008

I think you've got to keep forging on with it, even if you think it sucks.

I have a file called "The Bin" on my computer, where I take all the schlocky-schlock I've written and keep it. It's come in massively handy the past couple of days, as I've been able to use it in cobbling two chapters together.

I'd gotten down about 50,000 words, and then I'd written myself into a horribly un-fun, ridiculous corner. My high fantasy novel had turned campy, and I was ready to chuck the whole thing out the window. Almost did, too...until I got a "what if" niggle -- what if one of my main POV characters spends most of the narrative in jail?

And poof, writer's block surpassed. I took approximately 20,000 words and transferred them to The Bin, then started reorganizing stuff. I'm MUCH happier with the result, and I managed to reuse most of the words I'd cut with minimal edits.

I have several short stories languishing in a folder on my desktop called "Stalled". One of them I quite liked, but had no idea how to make it work...until I realized it's actually a major plot point in another novel that had been cooking in my brain.

So it's all useful stuff, right?

Snowstorm · May 26, 2008

Don't sweat the first draft, sanctuary6284. Try reading one of the best writing books ever, The 10% Solution, by Ken Rand. It's a small book chockfull of <smacks forehead with heel of hand--why didn't I think of that?> tips for that first draft and editing.

One of my favorite tips is when writing the first draft don't go for quality, just get the information out of your head. Get it out of your head and into your computer/on paper. Don't worry about misspelling, grammar, plot, etc.

Then work on editing. His tips are so fantastically common sense, they're brilliant.

Elladog · May 26, 2008

A couple of months ago, I started the first draft of my second novel.

I had really enjoyed writing my first, and had finished my first draft fairly easily and quickly. After many months of editing and rewrites while working on smaller projects, I was really excited to start my second, and thought my idea was even better than my first had been. But I was surprised by how much harder it was! After weeks and weeks of painstakingly eking out a few hundred words here and there, I had about 8,000 words that I thought were awful, and I put it aside for a couple of months, disappointed.

Then lately, I found myself thinking about it more and more. I really like the idea, and my MC was a hoot, so I decided to give my 8,000 words a read and see whether any of it was salvageable. I was downright nervous about looking at it, to be honest. I was prepared to be entirely embarassed by my own inadequacy, and literally cringed a little as I started. But then, to my surprise, I loved it! I don't know how I ever thought it was so terrible! I think my problem was that I was still in perfection mode after the months of editing my first, and now I am ready again to just write my guts out, and worry about getting it right later.

What a pleasant surprise that was.

geardrops · May 26, 2008

sanctuary6284 said:
At what point in writing your first draft do you feel like giving up? Why do you keep going?

This is my first for-reals novel attempt.

Thus far I've had this feeling at 10,000 words, at 15,000 words, at 20,000 words, and at 25,000 words.

I would say there's a pattern here, but I'm currently at 36,000 words and feeling startlingly good, despite myself. This feeling will probably go away once I re-read what I've written.

Why do I keep going? Because I've told enough people that I will finish by ComicCon and damn if I'm not going to hold my head high that weekend. Setting that deadline was probably the best idea I had.

sunandshadow · May 26, 2008

Whenever I realize no one but me cares about the developing story, it doesn't seem worth the effort of forcing it out onto paper.

Talkatoast · May 26, 2008

I really don't have that issue too much. I used to have that issue, but now I realize it's silly to stress over the first draft. You're going to have to go back through and make changes anyway. If you're really passionate about your plot, you generally don't give up so easily. I'm working on the prequel to my novel and I'm already 50,000 words in.

Bookgirl2021 · May 26, 2008

I've started over ten novels in the past four+ years, and I've only finished one. Normally what happens with me is I feel like it's craptastic, and begin to lose interest. When that happens I have a new story brewing in my mind, so I work on it. After a week or two, I go back to the first and re-read what I wrote last. Normally my mind is rejuvinated enough to work on it more. The stories I never get back to end up in a box in my bottom drawer. When I'm really stuck, I'll go read those. I've been able to put some plot points from one story that wasn't working into another, and voila! Suddenly everything makes sense.

gypsyscarlett · May 26, 2008

I'm sure every writer has "throw in the towel" moments.

When I was a kid, I easily wrote hundred page novels. (too bad I didnt keep them. I can't imagine how hilariously bad they must have been)

But, as soon as I became an adult and decided I wanted to be a professional writer- I couldn't finish a novel for the life of me. So many starts. No finishes. So this time, I am not allowing myself to throw in the towel. I am finishing this novel come hell or high water. I love writing with all my being. On one hand, it is the most rewarding and amazing thing to create life on paper. On the otherhand, it is also the most frustrating and difficult thing imaginable. So I've decided to become a masochist and just relish in the sweet pain of it.

Throwing in the towel

Mental Supernova

Well begun is half done...

Never be completely back to normal.

keyboard monkey

part of the human equation

The grad students did it

Mental Supernova

We can pickle that

giving resonant directions

Fear the Death Ray

Soldier, Storyteller

Dragon of the Multiverse

emerging from the writing cave

The BIC-Believer

Baby plot bunneh sniffs out a clue

Good thing I like my day job

Impractical Fantasy Animal

"If I had a heart, I'd give it to you."

Ma fin est mon commencement