What's that tone of voice called...

hammerklavier · May 3, 2008

Where you are trying to warn someone of something, so you raise your tone a little (but not your voice) and say something like.

"He's looking right at us..."

"I wouldn't go that way, if I were you..."

Women use it more than men, and it usually trails off at the end. I'm looking for some good words to describe it.

Someone might also use it while smiling and waving to a crowd, while speaking to someone who's standing next to them.

mirrorkisses · May 3, 2008

uhhh forewarning?

Chasing the Horizon · May 3, 2008

A warning tone, a tense tone, a cautionary tone . . . that's all I can think off the top of my head.

Jersey Chick · May 3, 2008

Kind of sing-song-ish?

JustJess · May 3, 2008

Sotto Voce ? I come across this description quite often in historical fiction. It means to speak "confidentially"-but is really more of a whisper...literally it translates to "soft voice".

Matera the Mad · May 3, 2008

stage-whisper?

hammerklavier · May 3, 2008

Hope To The Horizon said:
A warning tone, a tense tone, a cautionary tone . . . that's all I can think off the top of my head.

These are pretty good, but what I'm thinking of has a certain sarcasm associated with it. It's warning, but in situations where the only danger (if any) is social.

She_wulf · May 3, 2008

hammerklavier said:
These are pretty good, but what I'm thinking of has a certain sarcasm associated with it. It's warning, but in situations where the only danger (if any) is social.

It was spoken in undertone laced with sarcasm.

or

He whispered with snide confidentiality.

Amy

triceretops · May 3, 2008

Spoke through gritted teeth

Spoke from the side of her mouth

Said under his breath

Lowered his voice an octave

maestrowork · May 3, 2008

Tri is correct. Show, don't tell. Your dialogue already tells us she's warning or alerting the other, not need to repeat that. "Show" is more vivid and let the readers use their imagination.

Chasing the Horizon · May 4, 2008

hammerklavier said:
These are pretty good, but what I'm thinking of has a certain sarcasm associated with it. It's warning, but in situations where the only danger (if any) is social.

A snide whisper, a condescending tone, a snobbish tone, a contemptuous tone, a harsh whisper . . . getting any closer?

dpaterso · May 4, 2008

I'd call it a warning tone or a tone of disapproval depending on what fits, and write it as it sounds:

"He's looking right at us..."

"I wouldn't go that way, if I were you..."

-Derek

maestrowork · May 4, 2008

maestrowork said:
Tri is correct. Show, don't tell. Your dialogue already tells us she's warning or alerting the other, not need to repeat that. "Show" is more vivid and let the readers use their imagination.

dpaterso said:
I'd call it a warning tone or a tone of disapproval depending on what fits, and write it as it sounds:

"He's looking right at us..."

"I wouldn't go that way, if I were you..."

-Derek

Much of the "tone" also depends on the context and character. If the character is the cautious type and not the sarcastic type, then I think the readers would clearly hear the voice.

Also, why not just say "he warned her"? It's direct. It's a strong verb.

Seif · May 4, 2008

I agree with Maestro and tri - show don't tell is not only much more creative but powerful in drawing your reader (inspiring their imagination) and developing your characters (how they say it is implied by what they say and how you have portrayed their character/actions before and after the dialogue).

Simplicity is always best.

But, it's always good to know what the alternatives are.

Ruv Draba · May 4, 2008

How about insistent or strident? The latter is a little poetic license, since strident sounds may be loud.

BarbJ · May 4, 2008

Something along the lines of "mock foreboding"? Or "with a shrug"? Or "exasperation"? "Mock shudder"? Or no tag, but something like: "Heads up; he's looking right at us." Or "the peasant is looking...", "the queen is looking...", "the cretin is looking...", "For God's sake, he's looking right at us."

Hard to say without knowing the characters. If all else fails, just write it with no description or tag. Maybe on your second - or twentieth - rewrite the perfect word will pop into your head. And then on the third - or twenty-first - rewrite, you'll delete it.

benbradley · May 4, 2008

BarbJ said:
Something along the lines of "mock foreboding"? Or "with a shrug"? Or "exasperation"? "Mock shudder"? Or no tag, but something like: "Heads up; he's looking right at us." Or "the peasant is looking...", "the queen is looking...", "the cretin is looking...", "For God's sake, he's looking right at us."

Hard to say without knowing the characters. If all else fails, just write it with no description or tag. Maybe on your second - or twentieth - rewrite the perfect word will pop into your head. And then on the third - or twenty-first - rewrite, you'll delete it.

How about something a little more indirect, such as "We're on the subject's radar?"

ETA: Many computer games have a feature for when you get this kind of "warning," usually called "TBIC" that brings up a spreadsheet-looking screen. Yes, that's safe to Google, the very first hit tells the meaning...

hammerklavier · May 4, 2008

triceretops said:
Spoke through gritted teeth

Spoke from the side of her mouth

Said under his breath

Lowered his voice an octave

I think "from the side of her mouth" is the old term for what I'm looking for, but I want something that sounds more modern. "through a forced smile" might work. There's also the slight inflection/rasing of tone that I would also like to get across. Anyway, thanks all for the suggestions.

What's that tone of voice called...

hammerklavier

It was a dark and stormy night

mirrorkisses

Chasing the Horizon

Blowing in the Wind

Jersey Chick

Up all night to get Loki

JustJess

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

hammerklavier

It was a dark and stormy night

She_wulf

that's me

triceretops

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

Chasing the Horizon

Blowing in the Wind

dpaterso

Also in our Discord and IRC chat channels

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

Seif

Ruv Draba

BarbJ

benbradley

It's a doggy dog world

hammerklavier

It was a dark and stormy night