ONOMATOPOEIA

childeroland · Apr 29, 2008

Forgive me if this is the wrong thread -- searched for this word but couldn't find it on the forum -- maybe my browser's acting up. A quick question: Should one just describe the sound itself or use onomatopoeic words in conjunction with sound descriptions. What do fiction book editors prefer? Any help appreciated. Thanks.

Danger Jane · Apr 29, 2008

It entirely depends on the context, the tone, the narrator, the noise...there is no preferable option.

ETA: Not all onomatopoeia is "WHAM! The book hit the table." There are more subtly onomatopoeic words that mimic the sound without feeling juvenile or comedic.

LeeFlower · Apr 29, 2008

I think it really depends on context and tone and the effect you're going for. Some stories call for onomatopoeia while others are far better off without it. The trick is figuring out which yours is, which I know is way easier said than done. I'm working on a YA action/adventure right now where I'm trying to sort out whether to use it or ditch it.

icerose · Apr 29, 2008

Don't annoy or confuse your readers are the words I live by. If you use it, use it very sparringly. I read a book once where every single giggle, punched stomach, and hiss, and other wordless sounds were written out. It was obnoxious. Might as well put it in caption and added pictures it was so often.

Riley · Apr 29, 2008

I think the younger the audience, the more onomatopoeia will be tolerated. I remember some middle grade novels I used to love whose dialogue would often run like this:

"ARRRRGGGGGHHH!"

"AUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!"

Sometimes the sounds would run for several lines. Considering older readers, however, I think they'd find the sounds to be annoying unless they were inserted frugally and in an unobtrusive manner.

CRASHBOOMBANG

as opposed to

The lamp crashed on the floor. Note that words we often use as onomatopoeia are actually just. . .for lack of a better phrase, words. We say a car crashed when it could be a car CRASHED, for example.

ETA: But now that I'm thinking of it, onomatopoeia today seems to be moving toward the realm of the absurd/humorous. So if you're going for humor, maybe you should use it? I don't know. I tend to use it sparingly and only when I'm trying to exaggerate something in a form of, say, hyperbole.

Gillhoughly · Apr 29, 2008

Read the section aloud to people. If they laugh and it's not a funny scene, then rewrite.

Sometimes I've used "bang" and "boom", but they're appropriate to the mood of the scene and in italics.

I once had to edit a story--a deadly serious drama--that opened with this as the first line:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Someone was getting murdered, and that's what the hero heard.

I pointed out the the writer that it was:

A) unintentionally funny;

B) could be mistaken for the climax of a nookie scene;

C) if so, then still unintentionally funny.

The writer fixed it.

Matera the Mad · Apr 29, 2008

When I think of onomatopoeia, I am not thinking of (badly) spelled-out sounds but of words that have the same "flavor" as the sounds they describe. Thunder, rumble, hiss, yelp, shriek, hum -- words that are chosen as much for their sound as for their definition. Using long strings of vowels and consonants is not onomatopoeia, it is just... bleh. It is not bad to make up a word for a sound if a character is speaking or thinking about a sound -- it's the character's right to say and thing things as he or she sees fit.

"Creetchy-critchy" is how my MC describes the sound of small rodents gnawing on bones.

CaroGirl · Apr 30, 2008

Onomatopoeia are those WORDS which sound like that which they describe. "Ahhhhh" is not onomatopoeia. "Babble" is.

IMO, using onomatopoeia is far more effective than trying to describe a sound by mashing together a bunch of letters.

NeuroFizz · Apr 30, 2008

Thank you, Caro. And to back that up, write words, not sounds. Exceptions are allowed, of course, as when there are dialogue exclamations, but as was pointed out by Gill, these should be used infrequently and in a way that doesn't evoke the wrong reaction from readers.

dpaterso · Apr 30, 2008

This song cheers me up every time I play it:

Onomatopoeia every time I see ya
My senses tell me hubba
And I just can't disagree
I get a feeling in my heart that I can't describe
It's sort of lub, dub, lub, dub
A sound in my head that I can't describe
It's sort of zoom, zip, hiccup, drip
Ding, dong, crunch, crack, bark, meow, whinnie, quack
Onomatopoeia in proximity ya
Rearrange my brain in a strange cacophony
I get a feeling somewhere that I can't describe
It's sort of uh, uh, uh, uh
A sound in my head that I can't describe
It's sort of whack, whir, wheeze, whine
Sputter, splat, squirt, scrape
Clink, clank, clunk, clatter
Crash, bang, beep, buzz
Ring, rip, roar, retch
Twang, toot, tinkle, thud
Pop, plop, plunk, pow
Snort, snuk, sniff, smack
Screech, splash, squish, squeek
Jingle, rattle, squeel, boing
Honk, hoot, hack, belch
~Todd Rundgren - "Onomatopoeia"
http://www.musicsonglyrics.com/T/toddrundgrenlyrics/toddrundgrenonomatopoeialyrics.htm

-Derek

ACEnders · Apr 30, 2008

Riley said:
I think the younger the audience, the more onomatopoeia will be tolerated.

I think I agree with this.

for some reason, I remember when one of my sister's learned this word in school. I don't think I'd really known it until then, and I don't hear this word often now. It just always makes me think of my little sister. :Hug2:

Sorry...off topic I know. Just had to share the memory.

Susan Gable · Apr 30, 2008

I think ONOMATOPOEIA is a cool word, all by itself, never mind what it is or does. <G>

There's some in the book I just finished because the hero is a comic book artist as well as an art therapist, and in the opening scene, one of the kids he's working with wants to know how to spell ker-pow. LOL. Reminds me of the old Batman show, with all those little sound bubbles that would popup.

SMASH CRASH BLAMMO

LOL.

ONOMATOPOEIA - a very cool word, and a cool concept. But, as pointed out, like all other techniques, one that should be used sparingly. Like a strong spice.

Susan G.

aonarach · Apr 30, 2008

i agree onomatopoeia should be used sparingly, but in the same sense that i would not want to lick cardboard too often. i find they dull the scene. IMO, one of the things that's great about books is that readers' imaginations complete the construction of the authors' worlds. every reader hears/sees/feels things differently. if a writer tells me CRASHBOOMBANG the lamp fell (to steal Riley's example) then i feel like the writer has dumbed it down, like he/she doubts my imagination. and the one thing you'll hear over and over if you ask for a guideline when writing YA is "don't dumb it down." i think you can get away with the oversimplification of onomatopoeia in YA books, but (and this is just one opinion) their imaginations stretch even further than adults, so stretch them!

Gillhoughly · Apr 30, 2008

I looked up the definition and the vocal of AHHHHHH! qualifies, since the intent was to write out a sound. Doesn't matter if it's from a throat or tires screaming on pavement.

Of course writing something like:

"This way!" he hissed, waving.

reads better than

"Sssssssss!" He waved.

(Unless it's Voldemort or one of his pals.

)

I've used the device in serious stuff, usually in an action scene and only sparingly.

Reading things aloud usually fixes the problem of overuse. Reading it aloud in a scenery-chewing manner REALLY fixes the problem!

So the unlikely, but fun to say, word has been around since 1577. The mind boggles that someone holed up in a room with a Latin dictionary and said, "Hey, I need a word for this kind of thing. It might come in handy for a crossword puzzle in the future!"

C.bronco · Apr 30, 2008

CRASH!
pffft!
buzz buzz buzz

I recommend Dr. Seuss's Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? for onomatopoetic reading.

Phaeal · Apr 30, 2008

And always remember and never forget, if you use "hiss" as a verb of attribution, the dialogue to which it's attached must contain at least one sibilant, that is, an "s" or possibly a "sh." Drawn out "Z"s would be better served by the verb "buzz."

Fusssy, fussssy, fusssssy, she hissed.

icerose · Apr 30, 2008

The bigger books I've seen it in that actually worked was "The Talisman" By Stephen King and someone else, sorry I have a terrible memory.

kct webber · Apr 30, 2008

How NOT to use ONOMATOPOEIA: "The Magic of Recluce" by Modesitt. I'll never understand how his editor let him get away with it. Read it... IF YOU DARE! :tongue

HeronW · Apr 30, 2008

I enjoy it in kids and YA books and it it's used well for adults, go for it.

IceCreamEmpress · Apr 30, 2008

kct webber said:
How NOT to use ONOMATOPOEIA: "The Magic of Recluce" by Modesitt. I'll never understand how his editor let him get away with it.

Because he's Modesitt and that's how he rolls. (It doesn't work for me, either, but I'm sure his years of experience and success cow his editors.)

childeroland · Apr 30, 2008

Thanks, guys. I read it out loud to a friend, who did indeed laugh her a$$ off, so out go the 'Aaaaaaaar's (just kidding -- that wasn't the 'word').

David I · Apr 30, 2008

Many of our most vivid verbs are onomatopoetic, either strongly or weakly so: shatter, crash, swerve, judder, sigh, thrash, flounder, sprawl, groan, moan.

Outright sound effects can be overdone--what can't?--but onomatopoeia is useful as long as it doesn't call too much attention to itself too often.

Sometimes somebody just "walks" across a room, and that's fine. But if they sashay, flounce, limp, stagger, or stumble across that room, then the sound of the word will reinforce that image more than the dictionary meaning of that word alone.

And if you disagree with me, I'll thwack you on the head.

Linda Adams · May 1, 2008

Here's a link to the Handbook of Rhetorical Devices, which mentions Onomatopoeia.

ONOMATOPOEIA

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