PDA

View Full Version : Challenge - post a paragraph of your recent work for improvement


pilot27407
04-22-2008, 07:44 AM
Writing is a millenniums old endeavor.
There are as many styles of writing fiction as there are writers and genres.
We write fiction because we feel the need to share our feelings and dreams.
Some even make a career out of it.
But we all want the appreciation of our peers. So, here’s what I propose.
Post a short (not over ten lines) paragraph of your most recent work and let’s all collaborate and turn it into a perfect display of our combined efforts.

nevada
04-22-2008, 07:45 AM
Ummmm....why?

Soccer Mom
04-22-2008, 07:53 AM
Welcome to The Sandbox (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=180), a place to brainstorm and collaborate.

pilot27407
04-22-2008, 07:58 AM
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... To find out what ten (or more) minds can do to ten lines.
To share ideas and learn.

pilot27407
04-22-2008, 07:59 AM
So, I should take it there Mom?

Birol
04-22-2008, 08:13 AM
I'm going to move this to Writing Games and Challenges.

Shweta
04-22-2008, 08:14 AM
Whups. Sorry, Birol!

*slinks off sheepishly*

(Figured it should be moved to the Sandbox...)

Birol
04-22-2008, 08:17 AM
Works for me. At least it answers the question of why I don't have the authority to move the thread. It's already been moved out of my domain.

(I was getting excited. I thought I might have succeeded in slipping out of the shock collar. ;) )

Stormhawk
04-22-2008, 09:14 AM
There are as many stiles of writing fiction as there are writers and genres.
We write fiction because we feel the need to share our feelings and dreams.
Some even make a career out of it.
But we all want the appreciation of out pears. So, hereís what I propose.
Post a short (not over ten lines) paragraph of your most recent work and letís all collaborate and turn it into a perfect display of our combined efforts.

Just wondering if that was deliberate...cause I'm not sure how you squeeze appreciation out of pears...

pilot27407
04-22-2008, 09:25 AM
LOL

Stormhawk
04-22-2008, 03:07 PM
The eloquence of your response astounds me.

dpaterso
04-22-2008, 03:22 PM
'Tis more suitable for Writing Exercises methinks. <ding!> And lo the thread was moved again. Poor little thread. :cry:

I'd happily post a paragraph or 10 lines from my most recent work, only they don't need improved, they're practically perfect in every way.

I guess that's the challenge? Finding something that's so flawed it can be made better by committee?

:D

-Derek

BlueLucario
04-22-2008, 08:14 PM
pilot, please elaborate on that.

jennontheisland
04-22-2008, 08:22 PM
Writing is a millenniums old endeavor.
There are as many styles of writing fiction as there are writers and genres.
We write fiction because we feel the need to share our feelings and dreams.
Some even make a career out of it.
But we all want the appreciation of our peers. So, hereís what I propose.
Post a short (not over ten lines) paragraph of your most recent work and letís all collaborate and turn it into a perfect display of our combined efforts.


Um, I gotta say, having read your post about over-writing... wow, no kidding. I glazed over after your first sentence.

So, in 10 words or less...what am I supposed to do here?

Charlie Horse
04-23-2008, 01:02 AM
Ten lines at a time? I guess it's going to be awhile before I have the perfect novel.

davids
04-23-2008, 01:46 AM
So, um. Bernie has this brother who is named Saint. Bernie feels disquieted, you see his knickers are on fire and, um, er well in the Machiavellian game of parlor personality he and his brother Saint who is a bi-sexual protestant minister have decided that the devil is in fact God and that being so they may sit on the aspirations of his ministry, color their hair, pile it on top of their heads and do God's work, which, after alls and dones is the collecting of the proper love gifts to accentuate the positive of God and his desire to have us give more than we receive. Amen and amen.

darn it sorry this is just a paragraph of snorts and not of my book-but you may love and cherish it as your very own-love Dave

reigningcatsndogs
04-23-2008, 02:26 AM
So, um. Bernie has this brother who is named Saint. Bernie feels disquieted, you see his knickers are on fire and, um, er well in the Machiavellian game of parlor personality he and his brother Saint who is a bi-sexual protestant minister have decided that the devil is in fact God and that being so they may sit on the aspirations of his ministry, color their hair, pile it on top of their heads and do God's work, which, after alls and dones is the collecting of the proper love gifts to accentuate the positive of God and his desire to have us give more than we receive. Amen and amen.

darn it sorry this is just a paragraph of snorts and not of my book-but you may love and cherish it as your very own-love Dave


After alls said and dones... :ROFL:
Two issues with this:
Please get the period key fixed on your cornpooper cause I don't think its working;
and would Saint be pronounced Sin, as in St. John, which is pronounced Sin Jin?

Me thinks your worked on this while contemplating all Gordon Jerome accoutrements.

JJ Cooper
04-23-2008, 02:35 AM
Are we supposed to add on or critique to make it better? I'll try the later with davids post.

So, um. Bernie has this brother who is named Saint. Bernie feels disquieted, you see his knickers are on fire. He and um, er well in the Machiavellian game of parlor personality he and his brother, Saint who is a bi-sexual protestant minister, have decided that the devil is responsible.

In fact, they think God and that being so they may sit on the have aspirations of his ministry, to color their hair, pile it on top of their heads and do God's work. Which after alls and dones is the collecting of the proper love gifts to accentuate their positive of God and his desires to have us give more than we receive devil knickers. Amen and amen.


Did I get it right?

JJ

davids
04-23-2008, 03:01 AM
Are we supposed to add on or critique to make it better? I'll try the later with davids post.



Did I get it right?

JJ

pretty damned close eggcept cha forgot to line out the rest of the crap-nice job-appreciate it-will cornsideer the correctipations and re post in about a year and a half-love and thanks Dave

davids
04-23-2008, 03:02 AM
After alls said and dones... :ROFL:
Two issues with this:
Please get the period key fixed on your cornpooper cause I don't think its working;
and would Saint be pronounced Sin, as in St. John, which is pronounced Sin Jin?

Me thinks your worked on this while contemplating all Gordon Jerome accoutrements.


No then yes!!!!

davids
04-23-2008, 03:04 AM
No then yes!!!! oh and it is of course Sin Jin-smart lady what you be!!!!

i was gonna call himi Norman St. John (procounced sin jin) Smythe-do you think that a tad too much or perhaps too foreyean?

reigningcatsndogs
04-23-2008, 03:16 AM
oh and it is of course Sin Jin-smart lady what you be!!!!

i was gonna call himi Norman St. John (procounced sin jin) Smythe-do you think that a tad too much or perhaps too foreyean?

I think it requires further consultation with the Gordon Jerome Memorial movement. Nothing works quite right when he's not on the job.

davids
04-23-2008, 03:50 AM
too twue!!!!