I understand where cultural appropriation comes from, and its a pretty good reason for me to stay away from diversity. I have gay characters and people of colour, but these can only ever be incidental details revealed only by their name, or the name of their partner, but that's as far as I dare go now, and my work is all the poorer for it, but I don't like criticism or confrontation.
I'm curious if you've observed many instances where an author faced serious condemnation
only for writing outside their own communities or if this is a hypothetical concern.
Honestly, I'm not extremely familiar with the context in Canada (which seems to have jump-started this thread), but in spite of some people speaking theoretically about their objections to people writing about groups that they are not a part of, I have never actually seen this translated into action against any writers for that reason. I've only seen writers face serious criticism if:
- Their portrayal of a marginalized group was widely viewed as prejudiced or stereotypical.
- The writer appropriated a particular identity that they didn't actually have, such as claiming to be a gay man when they were actually a straight, cisgender woman.
- The writer came across as overly-defensive or unwilling to learn from others.
I've never actually seen a writer face serious consequences only for writing outside their community. And the fact that there are some people who take very strict views of what constitutes cultural appropriation doesn't constitute a serious risk.
I'm not saying this is how you're approaching this, but I think there's a tendency sometimes for well-meaning people who are coming from some positions of privilege to feel taken aback if their efforts aren't universally appreciated. Or to feel that being progressive exempts them from any association with oppression. Wanting approval from an entire group of people is not a feasible goal, nor is it really a goal that recognizes the diversity and individuality within groups.
Nobody has to feel okay about insults/attacks. Being an ally doesn't just mean hanging your head in shame or accepting whatever people tell you or whatever they accuse you of.
But I think there can be an implicit double standard where minority groups as a whole are placed under a heavy burden to be sufficiently grateful and appreciative. Nobody wants to be judged as though they're part of a hive mind. If you don't like people making assumptions about you because you're a white man, how do you think POC or LGBT people feel if your comfort writing them is dependent on you not having any bad experiences with anyone in their communities?
There can also be a lack of perspective, I think. I'm not going to say that bullying doesn't happen, because it does. Or that it's okay to make assumptions about people, because it's not. But generally speaking, a POC venting about white people is not going to pose a huge threat to them. Marginalized people have to deal with people's unpleasant opinions about them on a daily basis. I can't go on online without encountering transphobic opinions. It's a part of my day to day life. If I stopped engaging with the world because if it, people would tell me I'm too sensitive. But if a cisgender person feels unfairly judged by trans people, it's a huge deal.
And sometimes part of being an ally is accepting that some people have had really bad experiences and have strong feelings, and recognizing that they're not always about you as an individual and that you can't do much accept respect where they're coming from.
You can also disagree with people! Groups of people aren't hive minds. You can consider someone's perspective, look at it in context, and decide you don't agree. You will never please everyone, ever. I don't know why writers can accept that some critics might not like their books for artistic reasons but expect all LGBT people to like how they portray LGBT characters, etc. LGBT people don't even agree about characters/stories written by other LGBT people. That's life.