Is it okay to use the word "Damn" in children's story?

I wasn't sure in what thread to ask this question, and it's not worth making a new one so i'll ask it here, is it okay to say
"As soon as they were out again Tybalt asked promptly ..."
I thought "as soon as" and "promptly" might be synonims but i'm not sure..

♥Elena♥;2288190 said:

I wasn't sure in what thread to ask this question, and it's not worth making a new one so i'll ask it here, is it okay to say
"As soon as they were out again Tybalt asked promptly ..."
I thought "as soon as" and "promptly" might be synonims but i'm not sure..

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yeah, it's overkill to use both. In general, don't use an adverb if you can avoid it. "promptly" just doesn't add anything that the rest of your sentence didn't already say.

Hi Trish,

It's been about two years and I can't quite remember what exactly that it was. Lots of books have kids doing things they shouldn't be doing but, I wouldn't worry about that to much. If she's quirky and different it won't hurt you at all, in my opinion. While cursing is a bit too far of a stretch, I don't see anything wrong with misadventures. I was just contracted to do a series for a company and the kids do lots of dangerous stuff that the adults don't know about but in the end they learn some sort of lesson. In one book they learn about the value of friendship and so on and so on.

If I can remember what the problem with that book was I'll post it later on.

Good luck! =)

Tots are watching the Simpsons and MTV now. I don't think a 'damn' would corrupt the little sh...children.

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No way I will let my child watch Simpsons or MTV and no one I know would either. Not sure why this is a generalized thought in regards to most toddlers/preschoolers.

ok then, now we've started it i have one more question of this sort, is it okay to say
"Now, late in the evening, it [the loft] looked slightly untidy and quiet."
I mean, can it actually look quiet? Maybe it can? Or, if not, how can ichange it ??

Now, late in the evening, the untidy loft was quiet.

♥Elena♥;2290923 said:

ok then, now we've started it i have one more question of this sort, is it okay to say
"Now, late in the evening, it [the loft] looked slightly untidy and quiet."
I mean, can it actually look quiet? Maybe it can? Or, if not, how can ichange it ??

Click to expand...

I recently had this conversation with my spouse --- I always say "It sounds cold out there" but really what it is that causes me to say this is: hearing howling winds, seeing shaking trees, people bundled up with scarves, hats and gloves, frost on the car windows, etc.

It's important to show the reader what makes it appear quiet. Always try to show, not tell in your writing. You want the reader, especially in children's writing, to picture the room and decide for themselves that it is quiet and untidy. Children tend to bore more easily than adult readers.

So, why does it look quiet? Is it because the room is neat and messy as if someone was straightening it up and walked away in the middle of it? Is it because there is an ominous presence nearby? Or is there no sounds to be heard, not even the rustling of a paper?

HTH