Favorite lines you've written

Kat M

Ooh, look! String!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
951
Reaction score
627
Location
Puget Sound
Niel patted Laney’s head again. “Well, you certainly do sing! Keep it up and you’ll outshine us all someday. Hannah, I didn’t know Laney sang.”

Hannah snorted. “You haven’t been living in our house. Or visiting the beach. Or driving in our car. Yes. Laney sings.”
 

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
355
Website
mimistromauthor.com
From my MG short story collection. Once again Dan brings his humor to the page.

Barney set his jaw. He would have to control the Alligator Creature to save everyone.

“I have to go.” Barney didn’t take his eyes off the Alligator Creature.

“Now?” Dan’s eye’s widened. “You have to pee now?”

Barney jerked his head back. “ What? No. I have to go stop the Alligator Creature.”
 

SwallowFeather

Oops I just swallowed a feather
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
1,436
Reaction score
647
Location
In the wilds of Illinois.
WWII France. FMC and a young man catch each other's eye in passing (yes this is a meet-cute) in a train station--but she's got a train to catch and passes on. She boards her train...
__________________________

Magali settled herself on a bench seat across from the open door and readied her ticket, hearing the conductor's voice in the next car, then sat up in surprise. There on the platform, checking the catches on his battered little suitcase, was the young man. He glanced up and caught her eye, the corner of his mouth turning up again, took up his suitcase and swung himself blithely up the tall metal step into the train. For a moment he hung poised there in the doorway, half-dangling from the handgrip, shoulders loose, his whole lean body at ease, the suitcase in his hand. The turned-up corner of his mouth seemed part rueful—I'm not really following you, I swear, it seemed to say—and part impish; his leaf-brown eyes were bright. Then his easy pose went still as a statue's, his face wiped clean of all expression.
A second later Magali heard it too.
__________________________

(it's gunfire)
 

Devil Doc

Registered
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
He had Copenhagen dripping from his chin. His face was red, and he was hyperventilating through his nose. I remember hoping that he wouldn’t go into cardiac arrest. I’m sure I would have attempted to resuscitate, probably, but it would have been messy.
 

ap123

Twitching
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Messages
5,648
Reaction score
1,732
Location
In the 212
...or just a whole lot interesting!

Thank you! :)

ok, another bit of that opening I'm continuing to play with:

[FONT=&quot]That was a long time ago, thirty years. Things changed. The porter did become the official resident of Apartment # B—the official super’s apartment— down in the basement across from the laundry room and down the hall from the boiler. He found God and believed in Jane and got his thirty-day chip from AA at least 12 times. Jane still lived in the 4th floor, two bedroom apartment with her mother, but her mother didn’t work nights anymore. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Also, this time the super was really dead. [/FONT]
 

kwanzaabot

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 10, 2015
Messages
255
Reaction score
30
Location
Brisbane, Australia
WE'RE BACK, BABY!

Also, my line, from my Arthurian fantasy WIP:

The march eastwards to the White Hill hadn’t been easy, though Gwrgi Garwlwyd boasted that he’d slain three kings of the Strand in a single battle, each one having been crowned—mid-combat—immediately following the death of his predecessor. There had, however, been four kings, and even now he lamented not collecting the full set.
 
Last edited:

Shirokirie

*Leers at you awkwardly*
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 22, 2010
Messages
2,384
Reaction score
188
Location
Dyjian.
Glad to be back. :D

So, here's my favorites from what's been recently added to BF.

"Absolutely not." Kelithryx kept a prototype low to his hip. A most queer gun, as it had a confused, cross-bred appearance of a duck and a goose. With one hand clutching it at its breast, and the other wrapped around its thin legs, when he lifted it, he racked it. The neck straightened, as if protruding at attention, and when he pulled the legs back, the mouth popped open and it went:

QWÉCC!

At that, he grunted, and turned the thing upward to peer down its throat. Unable to determine if anything was wrong, he returned it to a forward position, and began pumping it and pulling back its legs, like repeatedly firing a shotgun.

Then, as if from nowhere, the damned thing made a whimsical HJÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖNCC as rays of unadulterated destruction shot from its mouth. After all that, he tried to replicate the fire.

QWÉCC!

He shrugged, set it down, and the gun ruffled its wings, then began idly waddling around.
 

SwallowFeather

Oops I just swallowed a feather
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
1,436
Reaction score
647
Location
In the wilds of Illinois.
Woooow, I'm not sure I can figure out what's going on in your excerpt, Shirokirie, but it's really fun! I started out thinking the duck/goose thing was a metaphor, but by the end! Wow. (Also, never look down the barrel of a gun, Kellithrix! Maybe yours is well-bred enough not to go off randomly, but I still wouldn't risk it...)
 

PamelaC

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 24, 2013
Messages
475
Reaction score
139
Location
North Carolina
So excited to actually be writing again! I'm technically outlining, but sometimes my scene summaries take off and become more like super rough drafts. Dialogue sneaks in on occasion. I was working on a scene this morning, and the dialogue started coming to me, so I let it pour on out. Phineas and Benedict are vampires, FWIW.
This is at the start of the scene:

“What has happened to you, my boy?” Phineas’ alarmed greeting leaves little doubt that Benedict looks as awful as he feels. It’s as if he’s melting. “That witch is trouble,” he slurs before sliding onto the leather chaise beside the fireplace. “I need a drink.”

And this is towards the end of it (Phineas' advice to Benedict):

“You’re famished and, I hate to notice, but apparently aroused. Go take care of both issues. Then get a good day’s sleep and we’ll see how things look once the sun sets tomorrow.”




 
Last edited:

starrystorm

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
2,987
Reaction score
605
Age
24
(She was just abducted by aliens)

My vision rapidly blinked between a blinding light and a cold darkness. There were flashes of blond fur or hair so bleached it looked white. I was lying down on what felt like a wooden shelf. Something kept pinching my shoulders and knees and there was a constant smell of metal. With the slow and steady pattern, it was almost like I was been sown together. Voices boomed from all around, but it was jumbled. Something or someone jerked me into a sitting position. All I could see was the light, but occasionally a shadow would dip in. I was hanging now, hanging from something attached to my shoulders.
Screams and shouts. Something rammed the back of my skull. I pitched forward, falling.
 

angeliz2k

never mind the shorty
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
3,727
Reaction score
488
Location
Commonwealth of Virginia--it's for lovers
Website
www.elizabethhuhn.com
"The dog greets George with his big, wet nose, and they chase one another about for a while. Then the dog returns to his master, and George follows. The Scottish man does not smile. He has a very particular way of not smiling. It gets the interest of boys like George, who expect men to smile politely."


Been thinking quite a bit lately of that "particular way of not smiling". BTW, the boy and the Scottish man become friends, and later the man becomes the boy's foster father.
 

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
355
Website
mimistromauthor.com
(Billie can fly FYI)

Kora leaped back as Meck plummeted down the hole. His screams sounded along with Kora’s own cry of horror. Meck’s screaming lasted for several long seconds (perhaps ten), before Joshua-Gabe shouted for Billie to catch him.

Billie didn’t look concerned. “Why? He’s should’ve hit the bottom by now.”

“I’m still falling,” Meck screamed.

“Or not.” Billie sighed. “Fine I’ll go get him.”

Billie hopped into the hole and disappeared, but his voice didn’t. “What the—! Meck, are you falling in slow motion?”

“Just get me out of here,” Meck shouted.

“Hold on,” Billie said. “I think there’s a spaceship or something down here.”
 

Vixie

Mostly harmless liar
Registered
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
13
Reaction score
1
A loud series of knocks on the door startled them. They froze and turned. The strikes made the door resonate and shake on its hinges.

They swallowed.

Lucy asked, “Who is it?”

William’s voice said, “It’s the police, madam. We had some reports of gross indecency and buggery going on in this room. And we were wondering if we could partake.”
 

SwallowFeather

Oops I just swallowed a feather
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
1,436
Reaction score
647
Location
In the wilds of Illinois.
A loud series of knocks on the door startled them. They froze and turned. The strikes made the door resonate and shake on its hinges.

They swallowed.

Lucy asked, “Who is it?”

William’s voice said, “It’s the police, madam. We had some reports of gross indecency and buggery going on in this room. And we were wondering if we could partake.”

:ROFL:
 

Chaoticia

Banned
Joined
Aug 9, 2013
Messages
24
Reaction score
1
Location
Michigan
Elizabeth held her anger back with a calm question, "Who are you? Are.. are you the individual who was eating chicken at a sea-food restaurant?"

The man shook his marble cranium negatively, "A marble-headed man would have no business eating chicken from a sea-food restaurant.

"No.." The man bowed deeply with his right arm just above the waist. "I am Monsieur Malluso of The Presiding Manner. And you are Elizabeth of Mr. Bagel's Donut Shop."
 
Last edited:

PamelaC

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 24, 2013
Messages
475
Reaction score
139
Location
North Carolina
Two faves from tonight's efforts:

1. He was contemplating how unsatisfying and frankly disappointing it would be to ravage a dishrag like Agnes Spellcaster when the strawberry soda arrived.

2. Benedict leaned forward, drawing a bead on Lightwing and wishing like hell he could drag him out back and eviscerate him behind the dumpster.
 

BLAlley

Banned
Flounced
Joined
Oct 21, 2015
Messages
38
Reaction score
0
Location
Northern Arizona
Website
writerblalley.wixsite.com
He had neatly trimmed hair and wore polished cap-toe Oxfords. I could identify the style because he was using his right foot to feel for the edge of each step. The news reports never mentioned him being blind, but that explained the opaque glasses and his tactile descent.
 

skylessbird2218

I Don't Bite...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
142
Reaction score
5
Location
W B
He had neatly trimmed hair and wore polished cap-toe Oxfords. I could identify the style because he was using his right foot to feel for the edge of each step. The news reports never mentioned him being blind, but that explained the opaque glasses and his tactile descent.
Wow! You're writing about a blind person. My current protagonist is also blind.
 

skylessbird2218

I Don't Bite...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
142
Reaction score
5
Location
W B
Chitra sat up on her bed as the twitterings of birds and hummings of bees harassed her sleep away. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs to the brim with the scent of fresh spring greenery coming from the open window. Today was a brand new beginning for her, a day she’d been anxiously waiting for, a day every boy and girl in their teens wait for.

Today, she was 18 years old.
 

PamelaC

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 24, 2013
Messages
475
Reaction score
139
Location
North Carolina
[FONT=&quot]

The door swung inward, revealing Flossie, still in full makeup and a change of costume - a dazzling floor-length number that gave the impression she’d just gotten caught skinny-dipping in a pool of rhinestones. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]