Favorite lines you've written

DeleyanLee

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“Mommy is tired,” I announced to the girls. I liked the way motherhood allowed me to create another self, a bitch named Mommy who existed in the third person, who could do whatever the fuck she wanted. Why? Because Mommy said so! “Mommy,” I finished, “is going to bed.”

This is excellent, and oh, so true.
 

Simpson17866

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Don't know if I'll be able to use this or not, but I think it's funny :)

"Hey, Charlie! Do you know any unisex names?"
 

OneWhoWrites

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[Martin Shkreli] stopped pacing and looked me in the eye. “Do you think I paid millions of dollars for the only copy of that Wu-Tang album because I’m a fan of rap? Hell no, it had dark secrets on it."
 

BethS

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I stopped by this thread to read back a couple of pages. There are some real gems here, you guys.
Beth, this right here. . .
Beautiful imagery, Beth. Beautiful writing. Just beautiful.

So kind. Thank you. :Hug2:

And I read the excerpt in your sig line, which I always do, and like always, it struck me that you are such a very, very good writer. There's never so much as a wrinkle in the prose; flows like a river, it does, and me a helpless but happy passenger. Though I do often worry about your characters...
 

Will Collins

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So, this is how it all ends, death by screeching harpy.
Tate’s arm had been scratched bloody by sprites, his stomach was wracked in spasms, and the harpy on top of him was about to gouge his eyes out. Still, he’d had worse mornings.


The opening to one of my manuscripts.
 
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ap123

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So, this is how it all ends, death by screeching harpy.
Tate’s arm had been scratched bloody by sprites, his stomach was wracked in spasms, and the harpy on top of him was about to gouge his eyes out. Still, he’d had worse mornings.

I really like that first line.

From the MIP (mess in progress, for those who don't know me):

[FONT=&quot]“He’s here for the night, right?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Um, yeah, I guess so.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“You want me to do him?” [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sarah’s lauded voice control got lost in a squawk, “What? NO! Of course I don’t want you to do him.” [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Lauren leaned in again, this time past the pizza to Sarah, and sniffed. “Ooh, you’re loaded. You gonna do him?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“No one is doing anyone. And keep your voice down,” Sarah added in a too loud whisper. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Why not? He’s an Admin hump for sure, which means you told him this is a skin house. He’s going to expect some skin. Yours or mine, doesn’t matter to me.” [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sarah slammed the top of the box down. It mattered.[/FONT]
 

kkbe

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Thank you kindly, TheLimitDoesNotExist. Something new every day. :) And Will Collins, I heartily agree with ap123--that first line is da bomb. Speaking of ap123, you call it a skin house (which I love), then you write: "He’s going to expect some skin. Yours or mine, doesn’t matter to me.” That's in-your-face writing. You got my attention, ap.
 

ap123

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Thank you kindly, TheLimitDoesNotExist. Something new every day. :) And Will Collins, I heartily agree with ap123--that first line is da bomb. Speaking of ap123, you call it a skin house (which I love), then you write: "He’s going to expect some skin. Yours or mine, doesn’t matter to me.” That's in-your-face writing. You got my attention, ap.

Thanks, kk :Hug2:
 

Simpson17866

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So my villain protagonists have found out that there's a school of Elemental magic where Earth spells require the mindset of staying focused without getting distracted, Air spells require the mindset of staying flexible without getting stuck in a rut, Fire spells require the mindset of staying passionate without getting apathetic, and Water spells require the mindset of staying calm without getting anxious.

Charlie (MC): So you shouldn't be taking Earth, then.

Alec (narrator): What are you talking about? The Jets did amazing this season!
 
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BethS

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I really like that first line.

From the MIP (mess in progress, for those who don't know me):

“He’s here for the night, right?”
“Um, yeah, I guess so.”
“You want me to do him?”
Sarah’s lauded voice control got lost in a squawk, “What? NO! Of course I don’t want you to do him.”
Lauren leaned in again, this time past the pizza to Sarah, and sniffed. “Ooh, you’re loaded. You gonna do him?”
“No one is doing anyone. And keep your voice down,” Sarah added in a too loud whisper.
“Why not? He’s an Admin hump for sure, which means you told him this is a skin house. He’s going to expect some skin. Yours or mine, doesn’t matter to me.”
Sarah slammed the top of the box down. It mattered.

This is good stuff. A lot communicated in just a few words.
 

Some Lonely Scorpio

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“Thank you. I’m not going to eat you, you know…” He flashed her a vulpine smile and strode away.

He could not help but chuckle at the poor girl’s reaction. What did she think I’d do to her, arrest her? Silly thing…
 

Prince_Alecksiiz

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Everyone looked at them.
"Is Uncle going to talk about the war?!" one of their younger nephews piped up in anticipation, only to receive a clap on the back of the head from his older sister.
The question was greeted with an awkward silence.
"No...," their daughter said softly, looking up, "Mama is..."

Last words of the prologue... well, maybe, it sounds terribly corny... :/
 

VZenov

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I'm afraid to go look at the ones I remember fondly, because I might realize they're awful.
 

Manuel Royal

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I haven't finished a novel yet, but nearly did many years ago. Somebody burned the manuscript before it was finished, and that's probably just as well; but I do remember the line:

Nobody asks the dog if he needs fixing.
 

kwanzaabot

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I finally found a reason for somebody to say to my pseudo-Celts, "I need someone to go down to Lost Property".

It's the little things, you know?

More seriously, there's this bit of dialogue on the same page:

“I was there last time. The last time the Madman and the King visited their particular brand of change upon your kind. They dug up the head of the Blessed Crow from atop the White Hill of Caer Lundein and lifted it skyward, anointing themselves in the blood of the gods, and in plain view of kings, gods, men, beast and fairy-folk, declared themselves protectors of the land forever more.”

I think this one's a little messy, but I like the gist of it. It's the first real hint that my heroes might be part of something bigger than themselves.
 

CarlHackman

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From my current WIP

Wilfrid's heart leapt when the figure of his mother appeared in the village entrance and ran towards him. His smile froze on his lips when, suddenly, she stopped and her hands flew to her mouth as her eyes fell on the litter he towed behind him. But the feeling of despair was nothing compared to the terror which ripped though him as his eyes met those of the Thegn of Aelfring, Godric's father.
 

Twick

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I've finally started writing some new stuff. This amused me a bit:

***

“I’m not the ambassador. I don’t know how to be one.”


She looks at me, an eyebrow raised. “Then why’d your father send you here? I knew, soon as you stepped foot in here. The ambassador – he
didn’t see it. Too good hearted. And now he’s gone.” She turns to a table behind her and picks up a huge knife, the blade glistening red in the firelight. To my relief, she aims it at a bunch of waiting vegetables rather than my throat.



“I knew,” – the knife snicks through a stubby carrot – “it were the end of things. Merinh, rest him, weren’t fancy enough for you folk.”
She plunges the knife into the belly of a turnip, skilfully disassembling it into slabs. The slabs in turn become cubes. “So now there’s a prince. Time for me to clear out. Maybe my sister can spare me a corner to sit in. Her oldest boy’s gone to sea.” A parsnip is decapitated with a crunch. “Way of all things.”


 

Twick

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I finally found a reason for somebody to say to my pseudo-Celts, "I need someone to go down to Lost Property".

It's the little things, you know?

More seriously, there's this bit of dialogue on the same page:

“I was there last time. The last time the Madman and the King visited their particular brand of change upon your kind. They dug up the head of the Blessed Crow from atop the White Hill of Caer Lundein and lifted it skyward, anointing themselves in the blood of the gods, and in plain view of kings, gods, men, beast and fairy-folk, declared themselves protectors of the land forever more.”

I think this one's a little messy, but I like the gist of it. It's the first real hint that my heroes might be part of something bigger than themselves.

Sounds interesting! But is Lost Property the Lost and Found, or a place?
 

kwanzaabot

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Yeah, it's Lost and Found. Just the UK/Australian equivalent. I'm surprised they don't call it that in Canada. I always thought Lost and Found was more of an Americanism.
 
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