You know you're old when...

When you lose track of slang and no longer know what the hell anyone is saying anymore.

When your morning snap-crackle-pop is from your knees, not your cereal.

When the tree you planted in the front yard as a kid is now petrified.

...multi-tasking is sneezing, peeing & farting all at the same time!

oestrogen is a drug

...the very first time you yell up the stairs at your teenager, "Turn off that damn noise! How in the hell can you hear yourself think?"

*sigh* the first time I yelled that at my kid, I got the shock of my life. She'd borrowed one of my CDs. I called my own Beastie Boys Cd 'noise.'

your cat is as old as you

I'm never going to be old.