Stupid things you've had to do at work

I think they should all go to lunch at the New Delhi...



















What? I'm funny.

Whadda ya mean "tonight"?!?

Don't make me get mean...

About 15 years ago I worked for this little, obnoxious troll of a man who was the cheapest SOB out there. He'd been forced to shut down his original company (got sued by Washington DC - and it served him right) and had to reorganize under a new name. Now, the new company was doing just fine (no one had sued him yet, but I'm sure someone will if they haven't already - and it would serve him right).

Well, he had a couple of boxes of company letterhead - not many, maybe four or five - and he had me go to Staples and ask them if they could remove the ink and re-letter it with the new company name. You should've seen the looks I got from those poor clerks who were absolutely dumbfounded by the idea that someone thought you could just steam off old ink and replace it with new (I kid you not, that's what this guy thought they could do). I'm sure they never felt such pity.

To make things worse, when I got back to the office, the little SOB was actually mad at me because I couldn't make the clerks steam the ink off. Needless to say, I wasn't at that job much longer...

The worst thing I can think of that I've had to do at work was... well, work.

I think the OP means aside from work...

One parent asked me if I would set up a tent in the classroom so her son could take a nap without all the lights disturbing him.

I have a million lame parent stories, but I will save that for another thread.
All you teachers out there know what I am talking about.

Parent other people's kids. "Can you send an officer over because my 9 year old son won't clean his room."

Have people call me and ask for phone numbers...I kid you not, a guy called and asked for the phone number to Pizza Hut because he was too drunk to read the phone book.

Basically, I'm forced to talk to stupid people day in and day out. The stupidity in today's society is rampant...and they all call me.

Four years of college. $60,000.
Three years of law school $80,000

Having a conversation with a public defender and their client who swears it's not real crack because it tasted like flapjacks.....priceless.

Can't think of any off the top of my head, but one of the BEST approaches from a new manager went like this...

He walked in, looked around at shelves of old files everywhere, rooms of old equipment and simply said "God, no one can work in clutter. Why do you keep all this crap?" Everyone who had been there for years looked blankly at each other, and I swear within hours trucks started arriving and literally truckloads of stuff was being despatched. It just hadn't occurred to anyone that files were being continually reorganised that no one even needed. Or that a 1985 2 MHz computer probably won't realistically ever be used for spare parts.

Then when we discussed my reporting requirements (computer programming) relating to how I was actually spending my hours... "Tell me it works and that's all I want to know!"

Really basic, keep it simple, use your brains and get the work done efficiently stuff. My kind of man!

Jersey Chick said:

About 15 years ago I worked for this little, obnoxious troll of a man who was the cheapest SOB out there. He'd been forced to shut down his original company (got sued by Washington DC - and it served him right) and had to reorganize under a new name. Now, the new company was doing just fine (no one had sued him yet, but I'm sure someone will if they haven't already - and it would serve him right).

Well, he had a couple of boxes of company letterhead - not many, maybe four or five - and he had me go to Staples and ask them if they could remove the ink and re-letter it with the new company name. You should've seen the looks I got from those poor clerks who were absolutely dumbfounded by the idea that someone thought you could just steam off old ink and replace it with new (I kid you not, that's what this guy thought they could do). I'm sure they never felt such pity.

To make things worse, when I got back to the office, the little SOB was actually mad at me because I couldn't make the clerks steam the ink off. Needless to say, I wasn't at that job much longer...

Click to expand...

Wow!!! You didn't marry this guy did you....??? Don't hold back Jersey, Tell us how you really feel about him.....

I once worked at quite a rather large international company, and one of the worst things they did was hire a 'supervsor' for the project I was on, between me (along with four or five others) and the manager. This individual did more to slow down the project than anything else. I wonder if anyone from there is gonna read this, they're sure to recognize the situation with only that description...

There's this that didn't involve me: There was some higher-up management person I don't think I ever met, wouldn't have known him if I had seen him, but I know his name and heard this story about him: He was transferred from overseas, and when he got here he apparently needed notepads. He had a huge number of notepads, three boxes worth (I saw a box, I got some of the notepads out of it to remember him by after he left - I guess 200 notepads to a box, 50 sheets each, about 5 inch by 8 inch), printed in the Major City he came from (okay, Paris, France) all blank except for his name in the lower right corner, and shipped OVERNIGHT to his new office in our building in the USA, all at company expense (the company HAS the money, but STILL...). He transferred OUT of our building within 3 to 6 months, and the 2+ boxes of his remaining notepads were about to be thrown away (I took some both for recycling's sake and to remember the insanity). This was x(x) years ago (I don't want to give the exact time frame to future potential employers who may have my resume and figure out which company this was), and I still have a few of those notepads with his name on them.

colour-code paint the garbage cans. (that's all I'm saying.)

I once had to give my boss a colonic in the staff canteen.

Just a couple weeks ago a high school student lit a fire in the girls' bathroom at the school I teach at. Fortunately, the fire was put out quickly and nobody was hurt.

Turns out the child is emotionally disturbed and is on a behavior plan with restricted travel. In other words, she isn't allowed to go anywhere on her own - she must be escorted everywhere. The teacher was out sick, but had left sub plans saying the kid couldn't go on her own, but the sub sent her anyway. And she lit the fire.

Because the school didn't follow the plan, the child got off scot free - no consequences whatsoever. Now I'm all about child advocacy, but it scares the living bejeezus out of me that this kid could light a school on fire and get away with because of an honest mistake. What is she had whipped out a knife and used it on someone instead? At what point should she be held accountable for her actions?

scarletpeaches said:

I once had to give my boss a colonic in the staff canteen.

Click to expand...

liar. you gave him a tonic. not the same.

Okay, I was lying for comedic effect.

scarletpeaches said:

Okay, I was lying for comedic effect.

Click to expand...

I must admit, I chuckled...but very coyly. It was too over the top for a full out guffaw.

I once had to physically prevent a person from eating vomit. It was someone else's vomit, which is what grossed me out.

A couple of years ago I was special events coordinator for a charity. One of our volunteers (a wealthy lady doing charity for fun in her spare time) was hosting an event for us at her mansion. I arrived early to make sure everything was in place and asked her if there was anything I could do.

She handed a me box of day-old donuts. "Would you mind feeding the birds?"

I stared at her blankly.

She waved toward her back yard. "I like it when birds land in the yard. Just make sure you spread it all around. I don't like it when they all group together in one spot."

Unfortunately, she and her husband were big contributors to the charity, so I wandered around her yard in a cocktail dress crumbling donuts in my hands as the first guests pulled up. It was awesome.

I'd just say, "Eat the damn stuff. Knock yourself out."

ETA: This was in response to Dolores

Kristie -- I had an early a.m. call from a lady who wanted me to dispatch an officer out to the pond behind her house, to make the geese stop harassing her fish. Now, the geese were wild. Just migrating. And she was leaving bread out for them. "They travel so far, and it is SO cold."

I passed it to the shift captain. Suggested he go out to the pond, raise his badge and shout, "You there, with the wings. Put down that fish and step away from the bank!" He... declined.

And it did make a nice diversion in my last book.

I had to stand watch over a pile of logs that were going to be used in a rock video the next day. I had to sit on the GDMF things until 2 am. I was on salary.

I once talked a guy into giving me a two week trial at his machine shop. I told him if I didnt work out at the end of two weeks I would go with no hurt feelings. About a week after I started he called me into the office one morning and told me I had to go outside and repark my truck correctly. I had backed into the parking space and he said 'Around here, we do not park our cars by backing them into the slot'. Then I asked the shop manager if it was okay to grow my beard and he said he had no problem with it. After two more weeks the owner again called me into his office and told me he didnt like me to grow a beard, and that no one was going to call me Fingers so stop telling people that was what I wanted them to call me. At this point all seven employees were calling me fingers (cept for the boss). He yelled at me for half an hour telling me he had hired a clean cut guy named Brian not a hairy jerk named Fingers. At the end of the half hour of yelling he admitted that his brother had a beard and he really didnt mind. I figured that he thought I was his whipping boy or something. Needless to say on the first payday I told him thanks for giving me a shot, but I didnt think it was going to work out. He was quite shocked and asked why. As I had just gotten paid and it was two hours before quitting time, I gave him back the difference in pay and left.

yer pal Brian