The "I'm sorry" thread

Jamegg · Jun 20, 2019

I’m sorry I sprayed expanding foam insulation down all your drains, but at least the rabid fishmen won’t be invading your home from the sewers any time soon. You really should be thanking me, you realize?

I’m sorry I crashed the plane, but...

Kinsman · Jun 20, 2019

I’m sorry I crashed the plane, but...
those remote control aircraft are alot trickier than they look.

I'm sorry I used weed killer to spell out the word "Trouble" on your lawn, but...

Jamegg · Jun 20, 2019

I'm sorry I used weed killer to spell out the word "Trouble" on your lawn, but do you have any idea how much effort that would have required to pull up that much grass by hand!?

I’m sorry I apologize quite so often, but...

ChloeRose · Jun 21, 2019

...I've been married so long I know a time-saver when I see one.

I'm sorry I hid a recording of scratching noises under your floorboards and left it running but.....

PorterStarrByrd · Jun 21, 2019

I'm sorry I hid a recording of scratching noises under your floorboards and left it running but the owner was hot on my trail.

I'm sorry about that incident at the fig bar factory but ...

Nymtoc · Jun 23, 2019

I'm sorry about that incident at the fig bar factory but ...

I'm sure that your little dog is happy now -- wherever he is.

I'm sorry I took all the glass out of your windows, but...

PorterStarrByrd · Jun 23, 2019

I saved you a lot of money on cleaning them

I'm sorry I bent your lawn mower blade but

Nymtoc · Jun 24, 2019

I wanted to see how far I could bend it for science class.

I'm sorry I told the police you were the latte poisoner, but...

PorterStarrByrd · Jun 24, 2019

I'm sorry I told the police you were the latte poisoner, but it's been my life dream to be witness in a murder trial.

Sorry I used beer insteed of milk when I made the pancackes this morning but ..

ChloeRose · Jun 24, 2019

...given you're lactose intolerant it only made sense after getting legless at the pub last night.

I'm sorry I scribbled your phone number and email into all of the public restrooms in town but...

Kinsman · Jun 24, 2019

I'm sorry I scribbled your phone number and email into all of the public restrooms in town but...
you've been going on and on about how you wish you had more friends.

I'm sorry I put your return address on all those bomb threats I sent to city hall, the police station, and the capital building but...

Azdaphel · Jun 24, 2019

I'm sorry I put your return address on all those bomb threats I sent to city hall, the police station, and the capital building but...
I never thought they would dumb enough to believe you send them. Quite a joke, isn't it?

I'm sorry I ruined your mariage by affirming your bride was your long lost sister and you wanted to stay with her for the rest of your life thus the mariage but...

PorterStarrByrd · Jun 25, 2019

I'm sorry I ruined your mariage by affirming your bride was your long lost sister and you wanted to stay with her for the rest of your life thus the mariage but you don't live in France

I'm sorry I can be so intense but

Azdaphel · Jun 28, 2019

I'm sorry I can be so intense but...
I'm to fabulous to be modest and timid (dixit PSB).

I'm sorry a moose bit your sister but...

PorterStarrByrd · Jun 28, 2019

I'm sorry a moose bit your sister but she shouln't have been wearing that mass camo for halloween.

I sorry your tour bus ran out of gas 40 mile from the nearest restroom but ..

Kinsman · Jun 29, 2019

I sorry your tour bus ran out of gas 40 mile from the nearest restroom but ...
at least it stalled in the mountains... such beautiful views as you crest each new peak.

I'm sorry I crashed your "Citizens for World Peace" gala by "whooping and hollering" like Slim Pickins while riding on a parade float that looked like a bomb but...

lackadaisical · Jun 30, 2019

I'm sorry I crashed your "Citizens for World Peace" gala by "whooping and hollering" like Slim Pickins while riding on a parade float that looked like a bomb but... At least, now, your parade float was most definitively the bomb.

I'm sorry I knicked your knickers, but...

ChloeRose · Jun 30, 2019

...in case you hadn't noticed it's 2019, not 1919, so I was actually doing you a favor (depending on your particular cultural definition of 'knicker' in this case....either way your wardrobe needed an update.)

I'm sorry I turned your bathroom into a butterfly exhibit but....

Kinsman · Jun 30, 2019

I'm sorry I turned your bathroom into a butterfly exhibit but....
all the live ones will make your visits to "the throne" a more magical experience... plus they'll fit right in with the woodland wallpaper I added.

I'm sorry I put all that flypaper in your bed but...

Azdaphel · Jun 30, 2019

I'm sorry I put all that flypaper in your bed but...
you recently said a problem was buzzing you in your bedroom. I didn't understood you joked about your alarm clock.

I'm sorry I washed your car with pure hydrochloric acid and sand paper but...

lackadaisical · Jul 1, 2019

I'm sorry I washed your car with pure hydrochloric acid and sand paper but... you see, I mixed your car up with my arch-nemesis' car. She recently got a car just like yours, and seeing what I presumed to be her car sitting out, unguarded? I couldnt help but make a trip to my special cabinet.

I'm sorry I covered your dog in glue and glitter, but...

PorterStarrByrd · Jul 1, 2019

I'm sorry I covered your dog in glue and glitter, but my dog wouldn't stand for it.

I'm sorry I missed you going away party but

ChloeRose · Jul 1, 2019

....I was too busy cleaning out your desk and up packing your files. Everything is outside your old office door. Oh, and by I went ahead and changed the lock. Did you bring me back any cake?

I'm sorry when I left the beach I took your towel, beach chair and lunch with me when you were out swimming, but.....

CDSinex · Jul 2, 2019

... you're always rambling on and on about how you admire ascetic monks, so I thought I would give you the opportunity to walk-the-walk.

I'm sorry you got arrested for vagrancy, but ...

Nymtoc · Jul 2, 2019

...you should have known better than to loiter in front of the White House wearing an Ivanka wig.

I'm sorry nobody liked your 4th-of-July-surprise-cake, but...

The "I'm sorry" thread

Destroyer of Keyboards

Taking the long view.

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Benefactor Member

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Benefactor Member

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Taking the long view.

Destroyer of Keyboards

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Destroyer of Keyboards

lazy

Taking the long view.

Destroyer of Keyboards

lazy

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Taking the long view.

Imagine something clever here.

Benefactor Member