The "I'm sorry" thread

CDSinex

Imagine something clever here.
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your loud cymbal clash at the beginning of their chorus scared them into silence.

I'm sorry all of your friends keep reminding you that, "Silence is golden" while shushing you like they would a five-year-old, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...your habit of reciting nursery rhymes nonstop does get a little tiring after a while.

I'm sorry you were accidentally enlisted into the French Foreign Legion and sent to the ends of the earth, but...
 

druid12000

You're out of your tree...
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...now you know that the 'flat-earthers' were right (unfortunately, that just won't do and we have to kill you now).

I'm sorry your grandmother hit you with her no-longer-seasoned cast iron skillet that you scoured, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...you should be glad she's not as strong as she used to be.

I'm sorry your fly was open during your speech to the Conservative Women's Club, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...Kitty's been turning up her nose at Friskies lately, so the bird must have been a welcome change to her diet.

I'm sorry no one believes that you are the reincarnation of William Shakespeare, but...
 

Perscribo

Pound cake.
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.. the 20th century just called to say love letters (and their songs) are better.

I’m sorry you were late to your first job interview in eight months, but ..
 

Nymtoc

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...didn't you tell me you read an etiquette book that said it's fashionable to arrive late?

I'm sorry people recoiled when you turned up at the office wearing a necklace of shark's teeth, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...no problem...she just laughed.

I'm sorry the psychic charged you $1000 to get in touch with your dead parrot but was unable to produce any words except "Polly want a cracker," but
 
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Nymtoc

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...that's what he gets for not wearing a mask.

I'm sorry your wife lost five previous husbands from arsenic poisoning, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...maybe you should stop calling everything "groovy."

I'm sorry your autobiography was rejected by 200 publishers, but...
 

CDSinex

Imagine something clever here.
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he warned you what would happen it you fired paintballs at him again.

I'm sorry your nephew decided to quarantine at your place on his way home from college, but ...
 

Nymtoc

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...bringing ten of his friends with him was a bit much.

I'm sorry your attempt to declare yourself emperor ended so badly, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...threatening the boss on Twitter probably wasn't a good idea.

I'm sorry your new skin cream turned your face blue, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...at least you got to see a part of the city you were unfamiliar with, as the cab dragged you along.

I'm sorry we're out of bananas today, but...
 

Nymtoc

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...attendance at Trump rallies is always exaggerated anyway, so don't worry about numbers.

I'm sorry you can't find a mosh party anymore, but...