The "I'm sorry" thread

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...you didn't really want to go to the Kuiper Belt, did you?


I'm sorry you left your computer, containing all those classified documents, in Clancy's Bar yesterday, but...
 
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...you must have forgotten the time I showed you my collection, including two AR-15s, a grenade launcher, three 81mm mortars, five Glock 17s and a portable IED. Did you really think they were just part of my décor? Hmmm?

I'm sorry you sold that old painting to the flea market for two dollars, not realizing it was a Van Gogh, but...
 
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...don't you think putting your head in the punch bowl was going a little too far?


I'm sorry your car sank into the swamp, but...
 
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...that excuse is getting so old no one will believe it anymore. Why don't you try saying your vacuum cleaner went berserk and sucked it up?


I'm sorry you lost the lottery ticket that would have won you $1,500,000, but...
 
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...I wanted to observe your symptoms for a biology class I'm taking.


I'm sorry your elevator will be out of order for the next six months, especially since you live on the 44th floor, but...
 
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I'm sorry someone stole the laundry from your clothesline, but considering the kind of clothes you wear I think they were doing a public service.


I'm sorry I set your bed on fire, but...
 
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...at least they're not fire ants...oh, you say they are? Pity.

I'm sorry the tub of ice cream you brought to the party had melted into a kind of chocolate soup, but...
 
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...you can still have endless fun with your friends guessing how many times in an episode the Skipper calls Gilligan "Little Buddy."


I'm sorry you're convinced computers are the works of the Devil, but...
 
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... without a fire to keep the wolves away they wouldn’t have done you much good anyway.

I’m sorry I ate you rock collection but...
 
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