This song has been stirring, waiting, and been in the works for 24 years. Is it any good?

*Italics are are meant for instruction purposes only*


Living Coma

-song begins-
Imprisoned within
Forever asleep
Alive in black blankness
Sleeping
Without a voice,
Motionless…………
-vocalist says in normal voice-
Dead!
-word echoes into these vocals-
-sing-
Hatred caged within
And walls shattered
The enslaved escape
Tormented and enraged
Faded and weak inside
The tormentor reduced to slave
Condemned to his own treats
Want to sleep…
-Vocalist’s voice echoed-
Forever.
-chorus-
-echoed-
No rest for the wicked
Give into the grave
-emphasized with energy-
Alive!
Gone into tomorrow
Disgraced and suffering
Eternally broken and hollow
Alive within the depths
Living darkness
Upon the night wind,
Rivers of pain spoken
Fallen upon the deaf
Insane…
The soul cries
“Someone save me?”
Savior comes
Briingng death to me
Razor sharp teeth sink into tired flesh
And crimson redemption flows
Feeding insatiable hungers
A victim claimed,
Enslaved and free.
-chorus-
Dead!
The years pass without pause
An endless blur of day and night
Indefensible ground gained
And lost inside this hell
Unseen and disregarded
Hidden behind masks
Feigned emotion worn as deception
Veiled behind curtains
Frigid disguise concealing truth
Within forced assimilation
Barren and empty
Reshaped and turned to dust
-echoed and reverberated-
Alone………….
Caged and defeated
Inside my own mind
A prisoner chained and haunted
The ghost of yesterday screams inside silence
In the throes of insanity gone mad
Nothing left of the sane
-whispered chorus-
Living inside death
Living inside death
Living inside death
-vocalist speaks-
Where am I?
I can’t see.
It’s so dark………..
-whispered and repeated-
-female voice with reverberating echoes-
Open your eyes for me?
-echoing in the darkness deafening sounds of the female crying -
-whispered from a distance-
Come back to me please………….
-vocalist speaks-
-words fade into a whisper-
Show me the way?
-female voice speaking through tears-
Can you hear me?
-vocalist screams-
Wandering in the darkness
Without your light to guide me through
This sea of black seeping through my defenses
Weakened in your absence
Nothing remains
The thief steals inside
These empty and hollow halls
Nothing left for him to pilfer
Broken and tortured
Imprisoned inside cold flesh
Saving grace within reach
-vocals yelled-
-repeated-
Denied!!
-sing-
Brimstone rain falls
Footsteps upon scorched earth
Lead the way to rest eternal
-break in vocals-
-chorus begins-
-chorus-
Death inside life
Life inside death
Dead inside and Alive inside
Without consciousness
Living life without
Alive inside…………..
Living dead…………
Living inside a Coma
Comatose……..
The road laid before me
Veiled by misted shrouds
Voices pierce the mists
Screaming…….
From desiccation they come
Scores of slicing razors
And myriad torches
Burning wounds upon fragile minds
Daemons pounce like a feline
And tear my flesh with dagger teeth
And razor claws strip me clean to the bone
A feast for the hungry
Leave me naked
A spectacle for the wicked
Seduce the flesh
Daemon fornication
Sin born of sin

-vocals fade out-
-song is over-

Alana

ps this is only #3.