You know, with all the flouncing, pouting, foot stomping and tantrum throwing we see here at AW, I thought I'd do something helpful for a change and offer those of you who are about to quit AW a hand. Rather than having to come up with your own Brave Exit Speech, feel free to choose one of these handy-dandy pre-made templates to suit your purpose. Simply Cut'n'Paste the one that's right for you!

1. You're All Mean!
I can't believe you guys are such poo heads! Quit picking on me! That's it, I'm never coming back! I hate you!

2. I'm Far Too Good To Post Here
Yeah, that's right, you heard me. I'm a way better writer than any of you will EVER be, so I'm not wasting any more time here. Losers.

3. Negativity Makes Baby Kittens Cry
I can't be around you people any more. Every time I log on, which is about forty-seven times each day, I see people spreading hurtful and unkind things. Why can't we all just hold hands and sing Kumbaya? We're supposed to support other writers, not be negative. I'm so depressed, I'm leaving now.

4. No One Likes My Writing, So I'm Outta Here
I posted a 47,000 word extract on SYW in a 8-point font, and not a single damn one of you has had anything to say, except for one guy who said he'd read it later and never did even though that was yesterday and he shoulda had time to look at it by now, and since you all SAY to share your work but then you never read what people post so I think you're all a bunch of poser a$$hole wannabes! Nyah!!

5. The Lurkers Love Me In Email
Look, I posted my opinions in that one thread in TIO, and you're all being so freakin' CRITICAL, but I've gotten a bunch of emails from people who tell me I'm the one who's right. Can I help it if this is like high school and there's a bunch of cliques where the popular people stick up for each other? Huh? Huh?

6. Logical Fallacies
You're all a bunch of Nazis.

7. It's Haskins' Fault
william haskins is mean to me and the moderators let him say bad things and he doesn't even use capital letters and how come no one ever bans the mean people?!?!?!?!?

8. Expletives and Spelling Errors Abound
[deleted]

This public service announcement has been brought to you by the good folks at Patti's House of Grand Indifference.

Please feel free to add your own Brave Exit Speech template, as a way of saying "I care!"