Make-shift Recipes

Here’s a quick, healthy breakfast recipe.

2 flour tortillas
1 granny apple (or one of your choosing)
2 pieces of Swiss cheese
Splenda
Cinnamon

Put a piece of Swiss cheese on each tortilla. Slice the apple and put on top of the cheese. Sprinkle Splenda and cinnamon, put in the microwave for 30 seconds and enjoy!

One box Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (White Cheddar)
Boil macaroni
Add butter and milk as directed.
Mix

Enjoy.

pick up cellphone.

call a girl.

tell her you need dinner.



LOCK THREAD

tourdeforce said:

One box Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (White Cheddar)
Boil macaroni
Add butter and milk as directed.
Mix

Enjoy.

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This is definitely my favorite recipe and the most made one in my house.

The other: Hamburger Helper.

Here's a quick one my son likes:

2 pieces of bread
peanut butter
jelly

Lay bread on plate, spread peanut butter on one slice. Spread jelly on other slice. Put bread together being sure to squish peanut butter into jelly slightly.

Enjoy.

Now I can't vouch for the tastiness of this dish since I think peanut butter and jelly is kind of yucky but he likes it!

My standard sunday lunch:

Whatever meat/veg/pasta/gravy/stock cubes left in the kitchen.

If there's meat, seal it in the pan first.
Sweat off the veg.
Add gravy/stock

Stick in the oven for an hour or two.

Loha! Casserole.

Here's an absolute favourite of mine:

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 bottle of whisky

Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK.
Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon the sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again and go to bed.


Okay, I'm sure you've all seen it before, but it's funny! (and I'm sorry for temporarily hijacking the thread.)

MSPs (Man Show Pizzas - not affiliated with the former show, but in its image)

A package of English Muffins
A bottle of pizza or spagetti sauce (or homemade--I make up a huge batch and freeze it in aliquots)
Mozzarella cheese
Topping(s) of choice

Split the muffins and spread with sauce
Sprinkle with cheese and put on toppings
350 degree oven until the cheese is properly melted.

The Grad School All-Day, All-Night Breakfast

One can coffee
Water
Two packs cigarettes, high-tar

Make coffee as per local custom.
Fill cup to top; no need to leave room for milk.
Extract one cigarette from pack; light.

Alternate draughts of coffee with pensive drags on cigarette. Knit brow; squint pensively.
Hold smoke in mouth for several seconds, without breathing, before releasing, pensively.
When cigarette is finished, light next cigarette from previous cig. butt. Appear pensive.
When coffee cup is empty, refill.

When vision blurs and temper frays, scrounge for a couple of bucks, and order a burger, fries and coffee at the corner grill. Do not interrupt coffee/cigarette procedure. Continue knitting brow as though making a sweater from it - for a pensive person.

Squint pensively, indoors and out.

The sallow, bleary, gaunt (yet pensive) look attained is the unmistakable sign of peak intellectual fitness.

poetinahat said:

The sallow, bleary, gaunt (yet pensive) look attained is the unmistakable sign of peak intellectual fitness.

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Excellent.
To think I was worried.

Red Bunny

1 to 2 cans of tomato soup.
½ Cup of chopped olives
½ Cup of chopped shredded cheese.

Place in pan and heat until cheese is melted and ingredients are hot.

Spoon on buttered toast.


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Mexican Hot Dogs

1 can of stewed tomatoes.
1 can of tomato sauce. (Spaghetti sauce)
1 green pepper.
½ Onion
1 table spoon of cut olives
Teaspoon of Tabasco sauce.
1 package of hot dogs. Try cutting hot dogs in too

Bake @ 300 to 350 deg.

The kids love this version of chili, although true chili connasewers won't. I like it because you don't have to crockpot it all day, it's just open some cans, heat and serve.

2 cans condensed tomato soup
2 cans condensed bean with bacon soup
2 cans chili without beans (original recipe called for Hormel, but we find generic store brand works just as well)
1 can water

Mix. Heat. Serve.

My version of "hash." Our kids love this one, too.

Cut up several potatoes into cubes. Season to taste. (We like to use Penzeys Northwoods seasoning, some garlic and onion powder.)
Fry until browned.

In a separate pan fry up 1 pound of hamburger.
Drain.

When potatoes are browned, add hamburger and then melt in lots of velveeta.

Sometimes for an added texture we slice hotdog buns, fry them until golden and add them at the end with the velveeta.

1 pack of Ramen
1/2 cup Frozen Veg of choice
1 Egg
Handfull of Shrimp

Yum.

#1
1 box macaroni & cheese
1 lb. hamburger
1 8 oz. container sour cream

Prepare macaroni & cheese according to instructions. Brown hamburger and drain. Add to macaroni & cheese. Stir in sour cream. Diner est servi!

#2
Call mom. Ask her what time dinner's going to be ready.

Heat 1 package of frozen pierogies in 2 cans of reconstituted cream of chicken soup.

Recline the La-Z-Boy to the ideal TV viewing position and eat while watching Food Network.

Southwestern Pasta e Fagioli

Heat leftover spaghetti sauce with leftover chili. Stir in cooked pasta. Sprinkle with shredded cheddar or grated Parmesan or both.

Seared duck breasts with red wine sauce and candied kumquats

2 1/4 cups fruity red wine, such as Beaujolais
3/4 cup chopped shallots (about 3 large)
4 1/2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
22 whole black peppercorns, crushed
12 coriander seeds, crushed
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice
3 cups low-salt chicken broth
3 (1-pound) Muscovy duck breast halves with skin
Candied Kumquats
Additional crushed whole black peppercorns

Combine Beaujolais, chopped shallots, balsamic vinegar, crushed peppercorns, and crushed coriander seeds in medium saucepan. Boil until reduced to 1 1/2 cups, about 12 minutes. Add orange juice and boil 5 minutes. Add chicken broth and boil until reduced to 3 cups, about 15 minutes. Strain. Do ahead Sauce can be made 2 days ahead. Cover and chill.

Preheat oven to 250°F. Using sharp knife, score skin of duck breasts diagonally to create 3/4-inch-wide diamond pattern. Sprinkle duck with salt and pepper. Heat 1 large and 1 medium skillet over medium-high heat. Place 2 duck breasts, skin side down, in large skillet and remaining duck breast in medium skillet. Cook until skin is brown and crisp, about 8 minutes. Turn; cook until brown and thermometer inserted into center registers 130°F for medium-rare, about 6 minutes. Transfer to rimmed baking sheet and place in oven to keep warm.

Drain kumquats reserving syrup. Pour off fat from skillets, reserving 2 tablespoons fat in large skillet for sauce. Heat large skillet with fat over medium-high heat. Add reserved sauce and 4 1/2 tablespoons reserved kumquat syrup. Boil until sauce is thickened and reduced to 3/4 cup, about 5 minutes.

Slice duck breasts crosswise into 1/2-inch-thick slices. Divide duck breast slices among 6 plates. Drizzle duck with red wine sauce, garnish with candied kumquats, sprinkle with crushed peppercorns, and serve.

Nothing to it.
Os.

There's always one comedian in the group.

I mean, c'mon!

Sour cream with mac and cheese?

Get some Hamburger helper and some ground beef, get some macaroni and cheese (cheddar), and follow the directions on both. Instead of adding milk or water, use 2 cups of toilet or dirty dish water. Then, dump it into the same bowl, put a note ("Here's dinner, assholes" works pretty well) on the table, and storm out of the house.

1 16 oz. can black beans
1/4 cup crushed, canned tomatoes
1/4 cup chopped red peppers
1 clove garlic
1 tsp. dijon mustard
1/2 tsp. cumin (or to taste)
1/4 tsp. corriander
1 teaspoon olive oil
salt and pepper

Heat the oil in a saucepan. Pour in the beans-- don't drain them! Add the canned tomatoes and red pepper. Cook for 1 or 2 minutes. Crush or chop garlic and add. Sprinkle in the cumin and corrianger. Cook for about 2 minutes. Stir in the dijon mustard. Cook for another 2 minutes. Turn off heat and add salt and pepper.

Note: You can either cook it until all the "juice" has been absorbed by the beans, or leave it soupy-- the perfect topping for rice.