BS your way through

They don't. Hospital serve the purple, red, and orange jelloes all the time. The green jello is reserved for patients they don't like. That cranky old bat who insists she wasn't smoking in the bathroom, for example; that was just steam from the shower, swear to god.

is the plural of jello simply jellos or is it jelloes? It's not in spellcheck.

Don't you know it's Jell-Opi? That's because it has Latin roots.

When Pony grows up will he be Bad Horse?

Is a bad horse any worse than a bad unicorn?

Can't a Unicorn be so bad he's good?

A Google search has revealed no instances of a unicorn so bad that he's good. A further search of the Library of Congress is now under way. Results will be reported here in due course.

How long will it be before we all have ID chips embedded in us?

About twenty years ago. Don't you know why they call potato chips chips? Every time you eat one, the government tracks you, your bowel movements, and your sodium intake.

Why do Hollywood movies seem to get worse as the prestige/budget of the project increases?

Because if you already have the prestige and the money for making the movie, what reason is there left for you to exert yourself producing quality?

How does one get a job naming paint colors?

Those aren't colors, those are flavors. You have to sniff a LOT of paint to be able to discern the subtle differences.

Why does sniffing paint get you high?

The high you get from sniffing paint is all in your mind, born from the intense desire for intoxication after having licked frogs.

Why hasn't President Trump been put into a straight jacket?

Because people from 'Mars' voted for him.

Why do people from Mars—those dwindling few who'll admit it—continue to support President Bad Joke?

It's the minds in this country. Don't you know how low the average I.Q. is in Dumerica?

When will they get it?

When the cows fail to come home.

Which species of dinosaur did Noah take with him on the arc?

The platypusaur, a do-not-eat failsafe in case Noah & co. underestimated their stockpile of food supplies and it turned out that zebra tartare was quite tasty. And so was duck-fat fries, and rhino rib eyes, and barbecue giraffe sandwiches, and… That ark became a butcher shop but they held fast to their policy of abstaining from eating the failsafe; although, Noah confessed that oftentimes he dreamt of platypusaur au poivre.

What was Siggy Freud thinking when he came up with his that-envy theory?

Little known fact, Siggie was actually a frat boy, and as all frat boys "know" all women love the D, whether they admit it or not. (and if not there was always Ether)
Why do you think psychologists came up with the concept of "female hysteria"?

How do we save the planet from global warming?

The answer is simple. We have to aim all of our nuclear missiles to the sun and blow it up. No sun, no global warming.

How do we KNOW that the world is round and that it's not just some government cover-up?

Are you talking about the government that can't even change a question on the Census without blatantly lying about the reasons, getting busted for their lies, and then getting spanked in public by a Chief Justice their allies hand-picked for his ideological blinders? The same government that can't figure out how to build a wall? The one that's led by a guy who thinks the American Revolution was won because they took over the airports?

Is there really a pee tape?

Of course there is. It's called Two Girls, One Cup. Do NOT look it up.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Well you see, in 1888 Edgar Allan Poe was writing a draft of piece to one of his publishers- now lost. In that piece, he discussed the merits of ravens and how they were essential to the environment. However, this piece was commissioned and Mr. Poe, drinking heavily at the time, was less than adamant about completing it. Therefore, instead of sending a letter to the publisher with the piece, he bestowed on him a comical letter detailing the relations between a raven (which largely is stationary) and the writing desk that he was working at for the time being.

What is an epistemological syllogism?

(First post in this thread! Let me know if I'm doing it wrong.)

Well that's easy. "Epi" is Latin, meaning exterior, "STEM" refers to technical fields "Science, Technology, Math, and Engineering" and "Ological" is "the study of". Syl, is agian, Latin, and it means "together" and we all know "Gism" is Man Chowder, Trouser Gravy, or as it's more commonly known, Wormgob.

epistemological = the study of people too stupid to understand computers
syllogism = the parents of

So clearly it means "The study of the parents of people too technically inept to understand computers."

Duh.


Should I go with aluminum, steel, or titanium armour on my next robot, and what grade of metal would you recommend?

It depends on the kind of robot. High-grade adamantium is the best and it's scientifically proven to prevent sentience occurring so that's always a plus.

How can I tell if my cats are just friends or are gay for each other?

Douse them with holy water and perform an exorcism, just in case. Pray the gay away.

What is a Planck Constant?

A pirate who always does his job.

What are the Nazgul?

Lil' Nas's flock of pet seagulls of course.

Do you know the way to Santa Fe?

The only way to Santa Fe is to jump into an active volcano while singing the Canadian national anthem backward.

What happened in Chernobyl?

Well, there were these guys. And... some other guys. And they did stuff... to each other. I guess. Then some stuff happened. Look it up! Do I look like a Wikipedia page to you?

Why haven't we made contact with intelligent aliens?