teaching an old dog music theory

I have some musical background, having played the violin in school for ten years growing up. Unfortunately my teachers were negligent when it came to theory. I did begin a basic theory course when I was about 14, but funding was dropped and so was the class. I can read music and have to have written music in order to play. ( I do still play some, and tinkle on the piano.)
My husband is one who just 'gets' music. He can pick up any instrument and after a brief exploration, he can play it relatively well. He does not need to read music to play it. He can hear a song and work it out quickly on an instrument. I don't let him near my violin- he shows me up!
Anyway, a few years ago, he decided to learn theory from the books side and I tried to join him. I remembered loving that aspect of music when I was exposed as a teen. But now (because I'm older??? gasp!), I find it much harder to learn for some reason. SO difficult for me that I gave up. He also tried just teaching me verbally (and hands on) what he knew about chords and such. But he overwhelmed me. He knows so much and it seems to come naturally for him, and it's hard to start at the beginning I think (is there one??) He wants to show me the whole picture all at once.
But I'd love to find a simpler approach and try again. I'd love to be able to 'jam' on my fiddle with friends, to pop in and play a harmony or two. To work out a tune I heard, and better yet, some of the tunes that I've created in my head.
What techniques have others here used to learn theory?

moblues said:

How much do you as an artist need?

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I just want to know enough basics to find my way around. Basic chord structure. Basic keys and scales. Shortcuts to changing between keys for my instrument. These are things that I do understand when it's shown to me, but have difficulty remembering it to put into practice. I do learn best with visual aid in learning, but I also respond well to rhymes and anagrams as memorization tools. I think I just need a structure presented to me in a way that uses my learning style.
I'm pretty good with rythym but I could use some refreshing, not something that would be difficult for me if I put my mind to it. I would however like a better understanding of the rythym structures that are specific to different music genres. And basic key structure for some genres as well. So, say I wanted to jump on on a blues jam, I would know the basic sequence of chord changes and beat structure.
I also want to know some basics for structuring a piece.
I'll look at the CAGED method - I assume googling is a good place to start?

Thanks Mike.
I'm not a guitarist, but it's on my want-to-learn list.