I would ask what you mean by embellishing?
If you are saying, “Should I make up a story about how I met Jeff in prison, and he told me about killing this coke dealer Bob . . . “ I would say no, unless you really did spend time in prison with Jeff and he did tell you about killing Bob.
I would not encourage you to write about robbing a liquor store unless you actually did rob liquor stores. But if you did rob liquor stores, and then found God and salvation, how would you tell the story?
If you really robbed a store in Detroit and never got caught, I’d think you might be wise to change the names and the faces and maybe tell about robbing a convenience store in Pontiac or Indianapolis instead. The point is the same . . . sinning led you to salvation, and the facts of the store really do not matter.
But what about a more ordinary circumstance? You remember how you felt when you got into trouble in third grade. You were always getting into trouble. You remember how the teacher would yell at you . . .
Do you write, “I was always in trouble as a third grader” and leave it at that?
Or do you make up dialogue, such that the emotions you want to get across are conveyed?
None of us remember word for word what was said, but we all read memoirs where such long ago conversation is reconstructed. In my opinion, that is OK and adds to interest and readability.
I will offer another example.
Let’s say you were a drunk. Many times, you went out, got drunk and ended up in some stranger’s bed, or in an alley, or even once in the hospital. Let’s say that happened more often than we can count, a hundred times or more.
Would you be right to make up a “typical scene” that shows how you acted when drunk?
You don’t remember the actual words
You don’t remember the guy/girl’s name
You don’t even remember which bar it all happened in.
So do you say “I don’t remember where I was, but I met this guy – I don’t remember his name – and we went to this disco – I forget which day though, maybe Saturday . . . “
Or do you make a story that reads smoothly and makes sense to get your point across?
“Once again, I was drinking at Max’s Tavern, and I hooked up with a girl, Julie, that I’d seen there last Wednesday . . “
A memoir is supposed to tell us your story, and thereby hopefully entertain, inspire, or teach us. Often we accomplish that goal by creating dialogue and combining events and even people to make our point. But we should all draw the line somewhere, and the place we draw it must depend upon our story and the relevance of the item in question.
Investigative reporting is just the facts, please. Memoir writers are not usually investigative journalists.