Inspired by the thread in Novels "S doesn't get it."

Top Ten Reasons Why Wannabees Stay Wannabees

10. Why would I want to read novels when I write them?

9. I finished my novel last night, now where do I send it?

8. My storys so grate It don’t matter if i can spell and punchuate. Its the edators job to fix that stuff up.

7. I know 350,000 words is a little long for a first novel, but you don’t understand. In my genre long novels sell.

6. It’s all luck anyway, so I’m going to query every agent in Jeff Herman’s book.

5. Query, what’s a query?

4. What do you mean you want snail mail submissions? I only use e-mail.

3. I’ll print my manuscript on hot pink paper and deliver it with a stripper who jumps out of a cake, then they’ll know how creative I am.

2. You requested the first 25 pages, so I’m sending you chapters 8 and 10 because they are the best .

1. I e-mailed this agent 3 days ago and she hasn’t answered, so I’m going to call her and see what the hold-up is.