Stupid things non-writers say

Status
Not open for further replies.

Sean D. Schaffer

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
4,026
Reaction score
1,433
engmajor2005 said:
4. Anytime anybody assumes that since I don't write red-blooded, hyper-masculine, All-American gun-slinging techno thrillers, I'm gay.

I hear you. I sometimes get that, too.


6. From the family: "Why don't you write about the glory of God/about how Jesus came to save us all from an eternity of damnation/about the greatness of America?"

:rolleyes:


I don't get that so much from my family, but I do get it from other people. I mean, what I write is kind of my business. People, for some reason, think that's a bad attitude on my part. I sometimes wish people would shut the f*ck up about what I write!


:rant:
 

engmajor2005

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 1, 2006
Messages
682
Reaction score
72
Location
North Carolina
Yeah, writers get the "why don't you write want people read" all the time I understand.

Let's see how this would work in other businesses, shall we?

Dear Apple,
I love your iPod. It is my best friend. I have my iPod with me all the time. There's just one problem. It's only a 3rd gen 20GB model, and I would like one like this:

1. 100GB
2. Only 1/10th of an inch thick.
3. Full-color display with video capabilites.
4. Pink and black.
5. That comes pre-packaged with those noise-reducing headphones.

Oh, and I want it for free.

Thanks,
Your Devoted Customer.
 

Athenae

Registered
Joined
Oct 27, 2006
Messages
10
Reaction score
0
I get the "can you make a living doing that" one all the time, and it never fails to make me angry. I don't ask my cousins what they're making at their jobs. I don't even know what my best friends make at their jobs. Maybe it's just how I was brought up, but asking someone about money (and it's always casual acquaintances and distant relatives who do this, too, never people you'd actually feel comfortable telling) is just rude. "How's the book going" or even "Have you sold the book yet?" are general questions, not implied judgments. Nobody would ever ask a teacher or a mechanic if he or she was making rent doing "that."

Can you tell I'm dreading going home for the holidays?

/rant

I tend to answer that one, by the way, by turning the conversation back to the new baby or the latest wedding, since those are generally safe subjects.

A.
 

MichelD

Registered
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
33
Reaction score
2
Location
Vancouver
It's not stupid, in a way it was almost in awe and respect that this remark was made.

My father, who was a logger all his life, skilled with chain saws, files, dozer boats, boring machines and boom winches always said he wanted me to do something "with your head, not your hands, like me."

However, I worked for 19 years from 1971 to 1990 in the logging and fishing industries, and then in 1990 through a bizarre set of circumstances ( mostly desire rather than skill at that point) I became assistant editor of the fishermen's union newspaper, a staff job.

After that when people asked my father what I was doing, he told people that "he doesn't have to work any more, he just writes."
 
Last edited:

jamiehall

Bereaved Snarkling
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
5,220
Reaction score
264
Website
www.jamiehall.org
I hate talking about being a writer, and one reason is the clueless comments (for some reason, I've found I usually can't talk sense into such people regardless of how long I explain or how much detail I go into).

It seems that most people make one of two assumptions right off the bat:
(1) I am famous and rich, or will be soon.
(2) Writing is a total waste of my time and the sooner I can be convinced to give it up, even as a hobby, the happier I'll be.

All this without knowing anything about what I write. Suddenly, people think they are experts in which direction my writing career should head.

I also get tired of explaining that having a self-published POD book does not make me a real author. I've had too many people continue to fall all over themselves admiring me when they find this out, regardless of me telling them that a five-year-old banging on a keyboard randomly could "publish" a book this way, so that merely being self-published isn't something they should admire without knowing a thing about the book itself.
 

WerenCole

Funny what? Do I amuse you?
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
2,212
Reaction score
581
Location
The Hub
My ex-girlfriend read my first novel and said; "WE are going to make a lot of money off this."


We?
 

Tiger

AKA: "Gums of Steel"
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 18, 2005
Messages
1,879
Reaction score
487
Location
Honolulu
MichelD said:
It's not stupid, in a way it was almost in awe and respect that this remark was made.

My father, who was a logger all his life, skilled with chain saws, files, dozer boats, boring machines and boom winches always said he wanted me to do something "with your head, not your hands, like me."

However, I worked for 19 years from 1971 to 1990 in the logging and fishing industries, and then in 1990 through a bizarre set of circumstances ( moslty desire rather than skill at that point) I became assistant editor of the fishermen's union newspaper, a staff job.

After that when people asked my father what i was doing, he told people that "he doesn't have to work any more, he just writes."

I keep thinking what any of us would say at a party, if we met someone who said they were say, a primatologist. Would we politely change the subject--or maybe scramble off and do some quick research so we can discuss her job without making her angry?
 

RTH

Call me Ishmael
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 8, 2006
Messages
184
Reaction score
12
Location
somewhere I shouldn't be
I'm a primatologist AND a writer, and I don't like it when people ask me about either. Sort of the same reaction either way. ;)
 

Bubastes

bananaed
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 7, 2006
Messages
7,394
Reaction score
2,250
Website
www.gracewen.com
Tiger said:
I keep thinking what any of us would say at a party, if we met someone who said they were say, a primatologist. Would we politely change the subject--or maybe scramble off and do some quick research so we can discuss her job without making her angry?

Easy. I'd encourage them to tell me more (and base the questions on what they've said to me, NOT on my own preconceptions because, after all, I know nothing about their subject) -- it's a great way to learn something new!

Again, the difference is that writers are actually interested in hearing what others have to say (at least I hope so!). It's our job. I think the difference is that many of these stupid comments are coming from people who "listen" as a way to mark time until they can spout off again rather than actually listening to the other person and maybe learning something in the process.

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Too bad most people don't get it.
 
Last edited:

Higgins

Banned
Joined
Sep 1, 2006
Messages
4,302
Reaction score
414
wow

Delarege said:
My mom won't read my work because I call it horror. She says she thinks I'll be too gorey. So I asked her "who's your favorite author?" She said Jonathan Kellerman. So I go find a book by JK. The first chapter has a series of mutilations and same gender sex.

"MOTHER! Why do you read this crap?"

"He uses short paragraphs."

I write about monsters. He writes about a detective. I guess it depends on who is doing the mutilating. Go figure...

Short paragraphs? I'm unable to fathom that as a definite attraction one way or another.
 

Silverhand

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
262
Reaction score
24
Location
Portland, Oregon
Website
www.ericfogle.com
Someone above me mentioned that they hated the fact friends and even family wanted copies for free.

I have no problem giving away what I can...but to think that I have boxes of books just lying around, irks me.
 

jamiehall

Bereaved Snarkling
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
5,220
Reaction score
264
Website
www.jamiehall.org
engmajor2005 said:
1. Anytime my Mom reminds that so many authors are only famous post-humously.

2. Anytime my Mom expresses the opinion that I should go to library school and put writing on the back burner.

3. Anytime I tell my Mom that I've had something published and she responds with the adult equivalent of a pat on the head and a "that's nice dear."

This reminds me of stuff in Seinfeld, about Jerry's parents wanting him to get a real job.
 

aghast

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 6, 2005
Messages
242
Reaction score
24
James D. Macdonald said:
"I have a great idea for a book! You write it and we'll split the money."

"Gee, you must be rich!"

"I've always wanted to write but I've never had the time."

add to these - anything i have read, and are you famous? like, duh - oh yeah get that 'are you going on oprah' thing a lot
 

Tiger

AKA: "Gums of Steel"
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 18, 2005
Messages
1,879
Reaction score
487
Location
Honolulu
RTH said:
I'm a primatologist AND a writer, and I don't like it when people ask me about either. Sort of the same reaction either way. ;)

Okay... Now I'm getting visions of a chimpanzee approaching her alpha female saying: "would you look at that? There's another one of those tall, funny-walking, bald things that keeps looking at us through a tube and pecking at a flat rock with its fingers. It keeps misreading even my most basic vocalizations! I feel like telling it to go get groomed!"

-D :)
 
Last edited:

underthecity

Finestkind
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
3,126
Reaction score
768
Location
Near Cincinnati
Website
www.allensedge.com
I've read through this whole thread. I'm not sure if I should be jealous or relieved that I have not ever been asked or told MOST of what I've seen here.

However, I have gotten some comments over the years that aren't necessarily stupid. Judge for yourself:

You have three books published? What are you doing working HERE? (I get this at my day job past and present. I explain that I don't make a living off my writing yet and have to work full time until that happens. Which means I will be there for a long while.)

Why don't you write books about THESE topics? (Topics are for very narrow nonfiction. If I actually DID write them and somehow did find a publisher, the books would sell maybe two or three hundred copies. Not worth my time, but I still get asked anyway.)

<Person flips through book> You write this whole thing? (No, just some of it. I can't remember which words.)

$19.99 is too much for this. It's only 128 pages. (Yeah, but I put two years of work into it. Believe me, it's worth it.)

Can I get a free copy of your book? (I covered this in another thread.)

allen
 

aghast

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 6, 2005
Messages
242
Reaction score
24
oh yeah people ask for free books all the time like they expect doctors to give away free surgeries and pharmacists give away free medicine and prostitute ... you know... for free
 

Shara

Fix it in the Rewrite
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 16, 2006
Messages
1,388
Reaction score
116
Location
London, UK
I have a good one from my former boss (note use of the word 'former' - I have since changed jobs).

He was giving me a chewing out for not having my attention on the job. Admittedly it wasn't, because at the time I was looking for another job (which he didn't know).

Anyway what he said was, words to the effect of: I know you want to be a writer instead of a secretary. But you're 35 now - if you were going to make it, you'd be earning a living writing now, so you should accept that it's not going to happen and you should focus on what you do do for a living instead.

It took me a while to get over that one - at the time it was a pretty severe blow to my self-esteem.

Shara
 

Athenae

Registered
Joined
Oct 27, 2006
Messages
10
Reaction score
0
I keep thinking what any of us would say at a party, if we met someone who said they were say, a primatologist. Would we politely change the subject--or maybe scramble off and do some quick research so we can discuss her job without making her angry?

There's a dozen acceptable responses when someone tells you they do something for a living no matter what that is, including but not limited to:

1. Do you enjoy it?
2. How long have you been doing that?
3. How did you become interested in being a primatologist/writer/doctor/lawyer?
4. What do you find rewarding about it?

Even a simple "what does that involve" is more polite than "so, are you famous?" or any of the other irritating things listed here.

I was a newspaper reporter for years and constantly dealt with people who had occupations with which I was not familiar. People love to talk about their passions if they're asked questions sincerely and with interest, rather than sneeringly. "Do you make a living at that?" isn't sincere interest. It implies an assumption and an offensive one at that.

A.

ps. For what it's worth, I think doctors and lawyers have this situation worse. Imagine people wanting to show you their boils at parties or asking you for legal advice about their messy divorces. Or telling lawyer jokes.
 

Cat Scratch

The Peacock Next Door
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 22, 2006
Messages
672
Reaction score
140
Location
A Little To The Left
If I meet someone with a job I'm not familiar with, I often ask the question: "What's the most annoying thing you hear/are asked when people learn you're a proctologist?" And I agree, asking questions isn't annoying, but some questions are nosey and condescending ("You can't make a living at that, can you?")
 

Cat Scratch

The Peacock Next Door
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 22, 2006
Messages
672
Reaction score
140
Location
A Little To The Left
Oh, I forgot, however, the people who can't distinguish fiction from reality. My fiction is decidedly dark at times, and often readers are concerned about me after reading/witnessing something I've written. I genuinely appreciate their concern, but sometimes it's really difficult convincing them that it's JUST MADE UP. These individuals feel "Well, it had to come from SOMEwhere!" and think that I'm disguising it as "fiction" as a means of confessing some deep, dark secret. Um, nope. I just make crap up.
 

ritinrider

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
1,163
Reaction score
324
Location
SE OKlahoma, out in the country
"One short story I wrote in high school, was about a high school kid who got into habitual drug use and then drove his car off a cliff.

I got an A+ for it, but it wasn't the kind of thing I wanted to show my folks--especially after just getting my driver's license.

What do you say when they ask?"

Since your parents were supportive show it to them, just remind them that it's fiction and not something you plan on acting out. We actually had a teacher tell my husband we should get our son into counsling (sp) based on a story he wrote for her class. She said it was disturbing, and he needed help.

He was in 7 or 8th grade. The story was about a boy, or group I forget, taveling across the country any way they could. Hitchhiking, jumping trains, whatever. There's murder and mayham in the story, and apparently (I didn't get to read the story) it was very graphic. Heads rolling, blood gushing, that kind of thing.

My husband looked at her and asked, "was it well written?"
teacher, "I suppose"
husband, "what's his grade on it?"
teacher,"A"
husband, "I don't see a problem"
teacher, "he's disturbed."
husband, "doubt it. just creative, his mother is too"

I wish we could've read the story, but for some reason the teacher didn't give it to us, or return it to my son. I had to ask him about the story, he couldn't remember all of it, he'd written it during class. Not a lot of thought went into it, he was just doing an assignment.

Although, I suspect some thought did go into it, and he wrote the bloodiest, goriest thing he could just to freak her.
 

ChaosTitan

Around
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 8, 2005
Messages
15,463
Reaction score
2,886
Location
The not-so-distant future
Website
kellymeding.com
ritinrider said:
My husband looked at her and asked, "was it well written?"
teacher, "I suppose"
husband, "what's his grade on it?"
teacher,"A"
husband, "I don't see a problem"
teacher, "he's disturbed."
husband, "doubt it. just creative, his mother is too"

:roll: Oh to be a fly on the wall during that conversation...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.