Dere Agent,

Here is my masterpiece novel. It took me 14 yrs to finish it, so I know you'll be plesed to be the furst person to read it! What's it about? Well, you'll haf to read it to find out! But I'd say its sort of a cross between the Wizzard of Oz and War & Peace. Plese let me know what publisher you wanna send it to and how much money I'll get. Also, I need to know about turning it into a movie and TV and all that. Its only 1248 pages long, so you oughta be able to read it prety quick. Ha-ha.

Where do you want to meet up?

Philtrane Q. Frazzleman