Hi Susie,
I wasn't trying to put you down in any way and there is no harm in having it up in a Forum like this, (which has been proved by the responces you've received), nor would there be any problem with it simply as a lyric unless you DID set it to music and try to publish it, but I wanted you to realize that comparisons that would inevitably be made if you did so if people were aware of those other songs, (regardless of whether your inspiration was independant or not)
I once wrote a lyric for a song to be called "Castle of Love" but before I could set it to music, Don Mclean came out with a song by the same name that was VERY similar to mine, (including the melody I had in my mind), although I knew I had written mine before I had seen his and there was NO WAY he could have seen mine, but that didn't change the fact that if I put out a song after his, mine would be PERCEIVED as dirivitve, if not a total ripoff of his, so I dropped it, (although I think I still have a copy of the lyric someplace).
The truth is that such similar inspirations occur often and are seldom "intentional" even if there is a "subconscious" element involved, (as would occur if you had heard something similar at some time without even being "consciously" aware of it).
Your lyric was a "VERY" good attempt, and deserves to be reinstated because it can do NO harm here and it's unlikely that anyone will think badly of you for the fact that it is similar to songs that have been done, because most will understand that such things happen, and only an old fellow like me would be likely to "notice" it, at all.
Take pride in it and Write On,
Jim Hoye