Whew, what have I started?
ATP - youngish? I wish. Unless 43 counts as youngish...and I am in a writers' circle - (if you mean in terms of meeting potential partners - all the guys are married
apart from one or two who are way, way too young for me even if they were likely to be interested!)
Don't get me wrong, my friends are great, and my socialising is not all about looking for a partner! But sometimes you just want someone to come home to. Or with.
Electric.Avenue - you have my immense sympathies. That cannot be an easy situation to be in.
quidscribis - gamer? As in online? I would, but I'm not really into online gaming, and yeesh, I waste enough time on the net as it is! (cf the length of this post). I love LARP but that's just the occasional weekend. Plus I get exercise. Alas most of them are married too...
I think other people must have heard that 'invest in a geek' advice before me!
Miles111 - um, yes, you do sound a tad harsh. But I get it - you've had bad experiences.
I can understand how it might have sounded but I would never, ever want to be totally financially supported by someone else. I hated it even when I was the one in the relationship earning substantially less than my partner - I felt very powerless and pretty useless. I wasn't trying to build a writing career then, (I wasn't getting any support to believe I could, which is one reason I am no longer in that relationship). I was earning money to try and retain some independence and to contribute to what I saw as a partnership. What I would like now is a little bit more of a mutual safety net so that I'd get the chance to try and earn more doing what I love instead of having to take the leap completely by myself - not just financial but emotional support. And it's completely a two way street - I would be totally committed to supporting them in their endeavours as well. I'm not a baby, I don't want just to be swaddled and fed. I'd just like a little backup, which, as I say, I would entirely expect to offer in return. So far as I'm concerned that's what happens in a good relationship.
As for TeddyG's suggestion...eep. I do appreciate the thought, but have you encountered the Dylan Thomas line about "the first boiling in the belly of a bad poem"? I have written about being miserable while in the midst of it - and ooh, boy was it bad. Seriously stinky writing. You're right, going through this stuff does undoubtedly feed the pot, but I think one needs time to be out of the middle of it, before writing about it. I do, anyway. 'Emotion recollected in tranquility,' and all that. (Not too much tranquility, though. Wordsworth bores the backside off me, mostly).
For those who asked, I write fantasy. And I think there are enough darkly brooding heroes out there without me adding to them. Although...hmmm...darkly brooding
heroine, now... Er, at the risk of putting the cat bang in the middle of the pigeon coop, it seems that male characters can get away with being darkly brooding loners (Waylander, Angel, Every Character Eastwood Ever Played...) whereas darkly brooding loner women tend to get categorised as psychos, not heroines - correct me if I'm wrong? (Hunts for the ducking and running for cover smilie...)